I know it seems like I completely let my New Zealand stories peter out completely but I do have one more to go. It’s my last story on this gorgeous country which we both adored so much.
Mapua is a small seaside town outside of Nelson in the South Island. Of course our reason for visiting Mapua is a culinary one – one that involves eating fish. Salt and Pepper Squid to be exact. Queen Viv has fond memories of the Salt and Pepper Squid at a place called the Smokehouse.
When we arrive we see that there are two Smokehouse establishments – a cafe and a takeaway. I take a look at the Smokehouse Cafe’s menu. There was no mention of the S&P squid so I take a look at the Smokehouse’s takeaway menu. This looks a bit more promising with two kinds of fish that are native to NZ, the Gurnard (a type of Perch) and the Tarahiki (that is also called the Jackass Morwong!). There isn’t any S&P squid although there are squid rings so we place an order for a scoop of chips, a piece of the Gurnard and a piece of the Tarahiki and half a dozen squid rings. We’re told it will be about 10 minutes by the friendly woman behind the counter and we go and browse some nearby shops before coming back.
The huge package as modelled by Mr NQN
Gurnard $4.50, Tarahiki $4.50, Scoop of chips $3.60, “squid” rings 90c each
We’re handed an enormous package of hot fish and chips and we take it to the wharf to eat on the picnic tables provided. The Tarahiki is delicious and incredibly moist with large flakes. The Gurnard has a good flavour to it and firm flesh and it has an added bonus of being a sustainable fish and the public’s acceptance of this fish has eased off pressure from the more popular species of fish. Traditionally it was slipped in as a substitute fish but support by seafood legend Rick Stein has meant that it pops up all over restaurant menus.
Gurnard
It is also dubbed “the ugliest fish in the world” and it is a bottom dweller who uses its legs to stir up potential food on the surface of the seabed. AA Gill of The Sunday Times described it as “the Amy Winehouse of battered fish” as it provided “a sonorous bluesy mouthful”. I am more taken with the Tarahiki so I swap the rest of my Gurnard with my husband’s share of the Tarahiki. The squid rings are downright bizarre. They are not calamari at all but minced up fish and squid. Certainly not the calamari rings we envisaged.
When calamari rings are not actually calamari rings…
The chips aren’t particularly exciting. Indeed another couple who ordered after we did asked us what they were like and we offered them a taste of ours and we both concurred that they weren’t anything particularly exciting. We’re full from the fish and squid rings and yet there’s still this yawning pile of chips to go which we just cannot put a dent into no matter how hard we try (we should have ordered a 1/2 scoop). The couple walk past up holding up their packet of food “We didn’t order any chips, we figured we’d take what you couldn’t eat” they tell us and in a psychically inclined moment we look down and see that we’ve barely touched them so we pass the chips to them.
We cap off our fish and chips meal with some real fruit ice cream. A popular type of ice cream sold in Nelson, it’s ice cream blended with real fruit. Fortified, we head to our accommodation.
Real Fruit blueberry ice cream and a scoop of Mango Ice Cream
I loved this ad.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not very familiar with the ins and outs of B&Bs but when I was researching Nelson accomodation, this B&B stood out to me, firstly because of the name. I knew I’d find kindred spirits and when I contacted them, Kay and Joe Waller were indeed food lovers. Originally from the United States, Kay is a former schoolteacher and has headed up European tours in France and Italy and is the author of “Cruising Cuisine”, a cookbook with recipes for boat lovers. Their B&B is on an amazingly scenic stretch of Nelson. When we arrived they were both welcoming and friendly and we sat down to chat with them about Nelson and food and the new B&B they are building in Sea Watch Bay.
They tell me about the Hokitika Festival held in March each year where you can get such items as bull semen shots, huhu grubs, worms, cockroaches and jellies with bugs and chocolate covered worms. Thankfully we’re served much less squeamish fare – delicious Chai tea and white chocolate macadamia cookies which Kay has freshly baked that afternoon. They’re gorgeously soft and chewy and just the ticket to recover from the drive.
Later on after we settle in, we drive up to their new location in Sea Watch Bay. We say hello to their three Alpacas (one in each colour!) and Kay explains that they’re shorn once a year and she then sends the wool off to be graded and it is then sent back to her so that she can knit with it. After drinking some New Zealand Wollaston estate Sauvignon Blanc wine and some cheese and crackers (including New Zealand’s famous Kikorangi blue Cheese) we feel relaxed and revitalised.
They have 75 vines of Pinor Noir grapes as they are also keen wine lovers and are a great source of information on the Nelson area as they regularly eat out and revisit restaurants so that they can give accurate recommendations for food (they recommended and booked Hopgoods for us).
The room itself is lovely with heated floors, free wireless internet, all the amenities and toiletries you could ever think of including a blend of lotions specially created for them. In the morning we are served fantastic Norwegian pancakes with berries and glazed bananas.
Lounge room
Kay sent me some photos of their completed B&B. All of the rooms have a breathatking view of the appropriately titled Sea Watch Bay. Along with a dedicated Wine Room there is also a sauna and a Pizza Oven.
Provence Room
Ensuite
The Wine Room
A quick chat to Kay and Joe reveals that the Smokehouse has had a hard time of it in the past few years. It was sold a few years ago and the quality of the food has declined and more recently has been sold again with some better reports trickling in about the quality. It helps to have foodie contacts!
So tell me Dear Reader, do you prefer B&B’s or hotels and why?
NQN and Mr NQN stayed as guests of A Culinary Experience.
The Smokehouse at Mapua
Sheds 2 & 3, Mapua Wharf, Nelson
Tel: +64 (0) 3-540-2280
A Culinary Experience at Sea Watch Estates
15 Sea Watch Way, Atawhai, Nelson, New Zealand
Tel: +(64) (0) 3-545-1886
0800-87-1886
http://www.a-culinary-experience.com/
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27 Comments | Add your own
wow, looks like you had a wonderful vacation.. apart from the disappointing calamari and hips, huh? New Zealand is beautiful. I’ve never been there, but I hope to visit one day. Honestly, i haven’t stayed in a B&B before, but it’s quite interesting.
That fish is indeed fascinating! And hmm… calamari rings with minced fish? I can’t quite imagine the texture or the taste. But… the whole B&B sounds so picturesque especially with that view from the lounge!
Bed and breakfasts hands down, or whatever the local equivalent is (small ryokans in Japan make me squee). I like the personalised service and the homely feel, the food is always local produce and generally excellent and you don’t feel like just a number.
Does make it kind of obvious if you’ve gotten a little overly frisky in a fit of holiday romanticism though. Can make breakfast a little awkward. *cough*
Gosh you get up early on a weekend, I’m only up due to coughing myself awake. A couple of weeks ago I noticed you posting as I was coming in from a club.
I love the fresh berries the kiwis put into their ice creams…
And on B&Bs? I’ve only stayed in one, it was great but expensive… I think I’d prefer to spend less on a hotel and then spend more on eating out or seeing the sites if I was on a holiday. The B$B we did was for an anniversary, so didn’t need to sight see :p
I love B&B’s but Boyfriend thinks the concept of staying at a stranger’s house weird. Couple of good ones are: http://www.thepickledpear.com.au/
and there’s a lovely one in Gloucester called http://www.aroomwithaview-bb.com.au/
Both have absolutely fantastic food!
Oh go on … make us Panda Bread!
http://wlteef.blogspot.com/2007/10/panda-bread.html
Another feast for the roving eyes Lorraine.Fun post from a corner of the world I’d love to visit.LOL…love the Whinehouse description of the poor gurnard. I love B&B’s more than hotels, for there charm & less ‘posh’ feeling. There’s certain comfort in them that hotels can never match!
Oh my, that B&B looks fantastic! I have stayed in some B&Bs in the UK and loved them for their homeliness, local knowledge, and amazingly filling breakfasts that seem to keep you going until a very late lunch. I have stayed in a couple though that were a little too obvious you were staying in someone’s house, with their children demanding your attention at breakfast.
So, I think B&Bs are brilliant when they’re done well but sometimes it is nicer to have the privacy of a hotel.
Also, I was enjoying my nice, warm, creamy morning porridge (steel cut oats mmmmmmm) when I read the “bull semen” bit of your post. Nice :s
The fish and chips may have been a let down, but that wine and cheese platter and the accommodation seemed to have made up fpr it. I like the ad too – Kiwis seem to have a glorious sense of humour.
That is quite an ugly fish for sure! Im going to look out for it at my fish shop and Ill hassle them in to get it cos I want to taste it =)
Oh goodness.. I had no idea you were living in NZ– how fab is that, you are not far from me just a plane ride over.. the view is outstanding, the food, ice-cream… I am salivating.
What a bummer about the “calamari” rings. At least your accommodation was top notch
I prefer B&Bs myself or small boutique establishments. Always more personal and not generic.
Oh yum!! Those pancakes with the blueberries & bananas look scrumptious!! Strange about those ’squid’ rings…never heard of minced fish rings! Very weird!
I’ve never stayed in a B&B…I’d like to one day, just to see what it’s like. That one you stayed at looks really nice! When I eventually get to NZ, I’m gonna bypass the relatives, and stay in a B&B, I think! LOL
Thanks for sharing your experiences again
Sorry to hear that the calamari rings weren’t yummie, but your stay, your accomodation was over the top!
Beautiful pictures!!
Lovely photos, I’ve had the “fake” squid rings before, el cheapo solution for the shop owner – can’t compare to the real thing let alone S&P squid! What makes a Norwegian pancake norwegian?
THe views from the B&B and the B&B itself all look soo magical! Loving the wine room hee hee
Aww pity the calamari rings are not that good cos I love my calamri rings hee hee
Great pictures and your New Zealann trip sounds great! I don’t think that poor fish is that ugly, I have seen uglier, though can’t remember their names….
I have been staying in a B&B a few times and then a lot of times in hotels, so it depends, but the B&B’s I have stayed in have been very nice, although not so nice looking as the one where you stayed, what a great looking place!
I love travel stories! I really enjoy the privacy of a hotel suite personally but can see the charm and appeal of BnBs, I love the idea that people have opened up their own home to you.
Shame about your chips:( Disappointing potatoes make me sad lol.
I really enjoyed reading your post . very interesting. I ve never seen that type of fish and that ice cream made me drool like mad
this post contains one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen (i’m simply obsessed with blueberries, and that ice cream is ridiculous) and one of the most hideous. what a freaky fish!
Such gorgeous photos! It looks like there are breathtaking views from every room! Loved the “mutton dressed as lamb” ad!
Hahaha the ugliest fish in the world?! I don’t think they look that ugly though haha.
I don’t know if this belongs to “fish” group, but do you know this ugly creature?? In Ariake region of Japan, people eat this stuff as local speciality/delicacy. brrr..
http://portal.nifty.com/2007/05/14/a/2.htm
Hmmm mango ice creaaaaaam.
You have made me incredibly homesick! NZers make the BEST fish and chips!! How I long to be home to taste the fish and chips again with Watties tomato sauce
Hope you had a lovely time in NZ it’s a beautiful country
Wow, that B&B looks glorious, I will have to keep that in mind next time I venture up Nelson way – about time I did since it’s been about 12 years! I love Kikorangi blue, so good – between the view and the wine and cheese it looks more or less like heaven to me!
Hi Jescel-We did
Yes the calamari was bizarre. We expected…well a totally different texture! It’s a wonderful country and people there are lovely! I really liked A Culinary Experience as it was very well appointed and the hosts were so professional about it.
Hi Trisha-It was so soft and strange-I don’t recommend it
Yes the view is amazing! You couldn’t ask for better!
Hi Amaya-I love ryokans too as I also like the way they’re decorated ( usually traditionally). LOL at frisky comment!
Oh no, I set these to go live. I can’t get up at 6am if I tried 
Hi Fiona-Yes! I loved the NZ Natural fruit flos. Ahh yes some can be expensive-I think they seem to range a bit in price. Hehe ok!
Hi Reemski-hehe so do you guys flip a coin?
Cool!
Hi Carol-Oooh I have to do that!
I will!
Hi deeba-Thankyou! LOL I know, poor Gurnard!
Ahh yes there’s definitely that!
Hi Conor-Yes the recommendations are usually excellent as the Hopgoods recommendation was for us. Hehe oh no about the kids though! That’s a bit much at breakfast time!
Hi Cakelaw-Definitely! I can’t recommend the calamari and chips but I can the accomodation!
LOL yes I love that saying!
Hi Brianna-Oh cool! I’d love to know what you think of it!
Hi Girl Japan-Oh no I’m not, this was just from our holiday there!
Hi Esz-I know, horrible is the word!
Yes that definitely made up for it 
Hi Liv -They were so good I have to say and much nicer than cereal or toast
It’s horrible, I hope I never have the minced fish rings again 
yes good idea! You’re so welcome! 
Hi Sophie-Thankyou so much!
Hi Moya-Thankyou! Ahhh ok I see, perhaps it was part of the quality dropping. What a shame, it’s not like real squid is exorbitantly expensive. I’m not sure but if you see them order them as they’re very good!
Hi FFichiban-I know, they’re such foodies! It’s like we found our people!
Hi yaelian-Thankyou! Hehe I think a lot of the deep water fish are quite frightening looking but perhaps they have nice personalities
It’s so amazing there!
Hi Miss Honey-Cool! Yes there are good points to both definitely
Hehe yes what a waste of a good potato!
Hi snooky doodle-Thanks so much! Hehe yes ice cream in NZ is great!
Hi grace-LOL I know, but I just had to share it!
Hi Faith-Yes it’s right above the water so I don’t think there’s a bad view anywhere!
LOL yes isn’t it funny!
Hi Yas-LOL Oh my god, that is truly disturbing looking! Like a creature from a horror movie!
Hi clekitty-Aww sorry! You’re lucky to come from such a gorgeous country though
We had a wonderful time thankyou 
Hi Rosa-It was lovely! Yes do and they’ll take care of you food wise I’m sure! It was amazing!
Oh, definitely B&Bs, when I have the money. I’ve stayed in several in Scotland and they were all lovely. The service is so much more personal and friendly.
I’ve never been to NZ, but your descriptions really make me want to go!
Such a shame your NZ fush and chups experience wasn’t up to scratch – usually they beat what you get here hands down – chups especially. I have to say that calamari was not something I ever saw in NZ before coming here, so maybe the squid ring is a Kiwi interpretation, bit ike a ‘fish cake’ isn’t solid fish???
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