Smoked meats
“Who is that man?” I ask Miss America pointing at the rather eclectic decor in The Smokehouse. There are large tree branches and at the end of the branch there’s a picture of a man in an open chambray shirt in a 70s style pose and picture. In the corner there are piles of vintage Playboys and in the centre of the room there’s a step ladder with old fashioned tennis rackets. Ladders are omnipresent for some inexplicable reason. There’s also a suitcase of San Pellegrino and a vintage Singer sewing machine. We’re not quite sure what any of it has to do with the Smokehouse and when we ask the waitress, she doesn’t seem to know either.
Random 70′s era ad clipped to ladder
The menu is one page long and is comprised of smoked fish and seafood in various forms. There are four non smoked items on the next page which are beef and vegetarian options but we figure since we’re here, we may as well go smoked all the way. There is no BYO here so Queen Viv and Miss America put away their bottles.
Abalone and smoked scallops with orange, snow pea and radish salad $17.50
We start with the abalone and smoked scallops with salad. My first reaction is that it’s rather…brief. Three smoked scallops sit on a long leaf shaped plate and at one end is an orange, snowpea and radish shoot salad with some strips of abalone. There are three scallops and three strips of abalone. The taste is quite good, the scallops having a soft, juicy texture but again it’s not what we would consider particularly good value for money given the size.
Soft shell crab smoked and fried with green papaya salad $17.50
The soft shell crab comes out whole, looking petrified (as in fossilized rather than scared) and oddly tastes like potato chips. Don’t ask me how or why but it does. The green papaya salad though is missing certain crucial flavours and none of us go for this as it is very unbalanced and lacking flavour.
Smoked salmon, cod and leek pie $25
The pie on the other hand smells lovely and buttery when set down on the table. It’s filled with smoked salmon, cod and scallops in a white sauce. We all enjoy the buttery pastry and the creamy seafood. Miss America is particularly enamoured of this dish-I knew he would be as he loves pastry.
Crisp skinned salmon belly slowly smoked with caramelised eschallots and creamed sweet potato $27
We all like the lightly smoked salmon belly with sweet eschallots and sweet potato mash. We think that they have sweetened regular potato, either that or it’s white sweet potato (and it’s very dark so it’s hard to tell by sight).
Double smoked whole Rainbow trout with preserved lime relish $28
The double smoked whole Rainbow trout comes out glossy skinned and Queen Viv takes to it with a fork and knife to debone it. It’s double smoked so it is indeed heavy on the smoke. It needs a salad to go with it and we feel that it should have come with one. I need something to break it up and they give us some chilli aioli which helps. I can’t imagine one person eating all of this in one sitting though unless they are a huge smoked fish fan as it’s sizeable indeed.
Asparagus, pickled fennel and watercress with orange dressing and candied walnuts $7
This salad came with a lovely slightly sweet dressing courtesy of the orange and was a definite hit with the table.
Shoestring fries $6
“Um, you must check out the bathroom” I say to my intrepid dining companions Queen Viv, Miss America and Mr NQN. We’re seated next to the bar and we find that the whole evening, there has been the occasional waft of smoked food followed by the waft of vanilla so curious I go into the bathroom and sure enough, there are strongly scented vanilla aromatherapy reeds as well as numerous tealights. I look around curiously. There is a step ladder with a picture of two bare bottoms pegged to it. There is also a vase with a large feather duster sprouting out through the top. Only Queen Viv is brave and curious enough to go in and she returns laughing utterly puzzled by the bathroom.
Our waitress brings us a rolled up scroll which has the dessert menu options and we feel like we’re a bit in a pirate movie. The desserts don’t look as enticing and there is wine to be drunk at our place so we move on still no wiser as to the decor.
So tell me Dear Reader, any theories as to the decor here?
Psssst! I was featured on the lovely Bridget’s blog here in her Just One Question Series where she asks me “What inspired you to blog about food?”. Last year she featured me in a Top 10 Female Food Bloggers you need to follow on twitter. Love her work and she cooks an amazing breakfast too!
Queen Viv models one of the hats that are laying around (or is it a shower cap?)
The Smokehouse
204 Devonshire St, Surry Hills NSW
Tel: +61 (02) 9699 1155
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43 Comments | Add your own
The guy of the photo looks so much like me …that’s incredible ! PIerre
Hmmm…thanks for the review, Lorraine. All sounds a bit heavy for me – amazing they can have a whole restaurant selling smoked dishes!
I just presumed that’s a picture of David Hasselhoff. The decor? 70s gone bonkers. Just a thought. Gobsmack’d
Looks like things they ‘salvaged’ heh. It IS a little 70s/80s.
oooh I thought it was a pic of David Hasselhoff too! Strange (yet interesteing) decor indeed!
SALMON! SALMON! Dear god! Why? On a Wednesday morning, I have now decided the fate for my stomach this weekend. SALMON!
Definitely looks like David Hasselhoff.
Doesnt look like my cup of tea- too smokey
Wow, the food looks amazing, even if it didn’t all impress. These places were not there in 2004 when I worked in Surry Hills, surely? Or was I blind? My theory as to the decor is Dad’s garage invaded by the encroaching woodland.
Sounded interesting… I dare say, the Poacher’s Pantry restaurant in ACT is MUCH better… you should try it out!
To one of the loveliest bloggers I know! She writes she eats SHE SCORES!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for being you and sharing your inspiration with us, and THIS review is hilarious!!
Keep up the fantabulous work
xxx
um … no clue- sorry!
haha, yes, I reckon it’s The Hoff, too! I love places that have funky bathrooms
xxx
Interesting decor Lorraine! I liked smoked food, but I think an entire meal would be a bit too much for me.
LOL! no idea on the decor =/
And what a lackluster dining experience.
x
I remember the Datsun ad. My aunt (she was Korean) let me drive her little Datsun station wagon when I had my first driver’s license. I was introduced to Oriental food a long time ago by her and another Asian relative.
Looks like Pierce Brosnan perhaps!!! Doesnt sound like my cup of tea really might not rush there when i travel to Sydney! My favourite is Wildfire at Circular Quay Port!!
Looks like something out of Rove’s “What the …?” archives.
Random nostalgia?? I dunno …
Eeep, that is such a gumnut baby hat! I want I want!!!
That is definitely some interesting decor! (I have no idea who that man is either.) The smoked salmon pie sounds amazing, Lorraine!
I liked the Smokehouse last time I was there – tasting platter was divine and a barramundi (I think?) pie was very good. The sides were very odd though … and agree the decor is crazy!!!
Also have been dying to try Poacher’s Pantry! Its always booked out!
The decor here is just a little wacky for me, looks like one of the junk shops in Newtown south. Food sounds interesting
Hmm no ideas on the decor, rather odd though!
I love the look of the crispy salmon belly & the pie
Oh! The food looks good…enjoyed them all
What an odd experience! For a while there I thought the caption “smoked meats” belonged to the picture of the bare chested guy – who incidentally look like the love child of Pierce Brosnan and Brad Pitt. What bizarre decor & whilst I’m a fan of smoked salmon and a few tastefully smoked meats,but this sounds like a place for smoke lovers!
Another place with interesting decor is Donovan’s in St Kilda (Melb). I went there as part of a work lunch and their women’s toilet had all these musical signs everywhere, a violin here, notes on the wall etc while the men’s toilet had tool kits, saws, etc (I didn’t go in, a colleague did). Very interesting.
Great review too =)
Hmm … the crispy salmon belly looks delicious, but the rest of it seems a bit of a mish-mash, a bit like the decor by the sound of it!
soft shell crabs rock =)
We went there last year for a birthday treat and am surprised you didn’t have any eel – it was the best thing we ate there. Some of the food was glorious, but I agree that there should have been more to break up that rich oiliness of dishes. We had fun though – and the staff were all very willing..
Not food related – but that hat is very cool!
I do like the look of the salmon,cod and leek pie!
I do love smoked fish, well OK, most fish and seafood – that’s no secret!
The decor is a little bizarre rather than eclectic?
I’m game for anything smoked; I really must plan a trip to Australia soon!
Love the decor, all creative eclectic! I love smoked food but a whole smoked trout without side dishes is a bit much for one person, definitely a dish to be shared with some bread and butter or buttery toast or a refreshing salad!
BTW, doesn’t Queen Viv look adorable in that um…bed cap?
How eccentric of them… I can’t imagine 70′s ads being decorative but each to his own. It seems like you had fun and the decor was a conversation starter for sure… food not bad either!
I love that a restaurant named the Smokehouse features fish and other seafood! Here, a place of that name would be all about beef–and I prefer fish. The salmon belly looks fantastic.
The decor is a great mix of antiques and one-offs. I think it looks amazing and having gone there myself, it is a cozy and fun place. The wait staff are great, as is the fun owner. The food is beautiful, if not a bit expensive.
ha–pierre’s comment cracked me up.
i spy lots of fish…good thing yummy shoestring fries were also available!
Isn’t that Rick something-or-other… the guy who sang that pathetic little song, “Jesse’s Girl”? SPRINGFIELD!!! That’s it!! My BFF & I are leaning toward that assessment of the man sweater up top
By the way, Lorraine – I wish I lived in your neck of the woods. I’m jealous of the fabulosity you’re always finding. Thank you!
Soy and I ate here last April, and the bathroom was a “must visit” for us and our dinner companions too! Looks like the menu has changed a lot since we were there. I remember we had the hand cut chips and they were massive! Like a whole block of potato!
This looks like one of those restaurants that Gordon Ramsey would go in, have a look round, then tell them they’re all $#%@$#*&@%* and then fixes it for them.
I’m a huge dessert person and I can never wait to get to the bottom of your posts, and I’m always really disappointed when you’re too full for dessert lol
Hi pierre-Haha! you are so funny
Hi Celia-It was rather heavily smoked but I guess the name said it all
Hi gobsmack’d-I don’t think it was him actually. We thought it was him at first but upon closer inspection. Not that I’m an expert on him
Hi Fiona-I think the owner must have a sense of humour!
Hi Lisa-yes it’s quite a talking point!
Hi Wretchdz-haha good idea! And it’s good for you too!
Hi sandra- it’s definitely smoky there although I think there were some non smoked items there too.
Hi Cakelaw-I think they might be newish? haha I like your theory!
Hi Fiona-I’ve heard of that place!
Hi Bridget-aww thankyou my darling! Thankyou so much for featuring me and for feeding me! xxx
Hi gastronomy gal-haha I’m with you!
Hi Angela-I’m not sure if it is but I think a restaurant dedicated to the Hoff would be hilarious!
xxx
Hi Loll-yes it’s quite a lot which we felt after we ate it all
Hi Iron Chef Shellie-funny isn’t it!
x
Hi Julia-Wow you’ve got a good memory! And what a great way to learn about new cuisine-through a relative!
Hi Eliza-Ahh interesting! Perhaps! Oh yes I love the chandeliers there!
Hi Peter-haha I know what you mean
Hi Hannah-Haha oh yes! Isn’t it cute?
Hi Faith-Hehe I wonder if he’s just some random model?
Hi MissA-yes we really enjoyed the pie
Oh we must get there one day!
Hi john-hehe it is very quirky indeed!
Hi Phunk-yes those two dishes were definitely the winners
Hi Juliana-Thankyou!
Hi Forager-haha your mind works in mysterious ways!
definitely for smoke lovers!
Hi mashi-Oh wow, that does sound quite amazingly crazy!
Thankyou!
Hi MaidInAustralia-hehe maybe they couldn’t decide!
Hi Yuki-They do!
Hi Claire-hehe you’re surprised we didn’t have eel? Why is that?
A salad wouldn’t have gone astray with the trout. I think we needed it!
Hi Karen-Hehe isn’t it!
Hi Liss-yes me too! Fellow seafood addict here! the suitcase of San Pellegrino had me a little stunned
Hi Midge-Oh cool! Ibet you have fun!
Hi Moya-Yes I wish they’d given us a salad or some bread and butter with it. Or it could be like a low carb lover’s dream! she does doesn’t she!
Hi deana-absolutely! I can’t imagine anyone dining there and not commenting on the decor
Hi Lisa-Ahh I see! I never thought of it that way!
Hi Danielle-yes the staff are really nice I have to say
Hi grace-Haha! Yes I know you don’t like the fishies do you!
Hi Stacey-Rick Springfield? Hmmm who knows! haha thankyou so much! You are too kind
Hi Honey-Isn’t it hilarious? Oh really? I wonder how often the menu changes?
Hi laura-hehe I wonder what Gordon would say about the bathroom?
Ahh well we only have only so much room in our stomachs!
I’m not one to be squeamish about food, but that soft shell crab is more than a little confronting fried in its complete form, looking vaguely arachnid!
I am reminded of the Cambodian fried tarantula delicacy…
Please everyone don’t be too quick to judge, based on the smoked seafood thing. We live up the road and I was initially a little hesitant about smoked fish after remember the hideous smoked cod from my childhood – argh. This place is great and they do had non-seafood items plus often the smoking is very light so it doesn’t actually overpower the taste of the seafood item. The entree tasting plate is the bomb and we have considered going there and ordering 2 each. It’s brilliant. Please give this place a go. We love it.
Decor – special. I am not sure there is a story to it and the owner’s backed this up. However the old Womens’ Weeklies and records are great and depending how old you are, they’ll bring back memories. Very quirky to say the least.
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