The corners cut into the buildings so a horse and carriage could get past without cutting the corner!
I think that Melbourne has just got to hold the record for quirkiest shop/cafe/restaurant names per capita. Allow me to explain with this list of eatery names:
Naked for Satan, Pope Joan, Dr Jekyll, Coin Laundry, Omar and the Marvellous Coffee Bird, Dead Man Espresso, Friends of Mine, ESC, Mr Tulk, Three Bags Full, Huxtable, Proud Mary, Hardware Societe and Captains of Industry among many others.
When people in a city offer to show me their city, I am delighted. Especially when they want to take me to somewhere that I’ve been dying to visit for the longest time. Tim @aerohaveno (a travel writer) and his wife Narelle @daggyvamp (a vampire novel writer) offered to show us some of Melbourne’s famous blue stone edged laneways and share brunch at the Hardware Societe in Hardware Lane. We arrive and it is buzzing and full. There is a ten minute wait so we walk around the corner and they show us various laneways and other cafes of note.
More quirky names
Melbourne’s eateries, stores and galleries have quite a collection of quirky names and we particularly like this laneway with galleries to each side and Narelle points out the “cut here” scissors along the centre of the lane. In Melbourne these laneway places are where small but driven shopkeepers, chefs and restaurateurs open up and flourish as the slightly hidden locations allow them a chance to survive paying less rent than a main street location. Before you know it, a place becomes a cult place and as Tim tells us “Melburnians like to discover secret laneway places, the places on the main street are for tourists”.
Cut here street markings
Random street art
Before we know it, the ten minutes is up and we head back to the Hardware Societe where we take a seat at the end of a communal table. We receive our copy of the menu and two words pop out at me: Fried. Brioche. Holy heavens, yes please. My order decided Mr NQN orders the Spanish milk rice and Tim and Narelle order different things. “We order different things, is that how it goes?” Tim asks – words to my ears! Narelle explains that she is used to waiting for him to take photographs so we have lucked out as far as Melbourne guides are concerned. The menu is a mix of French and Spanish influenced dishes and there are displays of Spanish and French sweets on the counter.
Sunzest Orange Juice $4
The Sunzest organic orange juice is gorgeous-pure and sweet and with a small amount of pulp. It is just lovely sweet oranges squeezed like if you would do at home if a) you could be bothered juicing oranges and b) you found yourself really sweet oranges. I saw on their website that they are also stocked at Sydney’s Flemington markets.
Chai tea $4
I love a tea cosy and I’m glad I ordered a tea instead of a coffee or I’d be missing out on this colourful tea cosy. The chai tea is made slightly sweetened and aromatic.
Fried brioche $13 (read about the new flavour)
As soon as it was sat down I was like a mother that had recognised her own baby. This was miiinne! Two thick square pieces of brioche were spread with Nutella and deep fried and then topped with sliced banana and chopped hazelnuts. It’s crunchy on the outside and lightly drizzled with syrup and clotted cream. OK it’s not going to make it into any diet books but it is going to make it into my mouth and tummy quite happily.
Spanish milk rice $10
Mr NQN’s Spanish milk rice is topped with sweet stewed quince and chopped almonds and is served in a cute screw top jam jar. It is served cold and is a comforting milky rice pudding for breakfast. Styling and serving is very cute and a conversation point here. In fact there are vintage sugar holders holding panela sugar or rapadura sugar which is an unrefined crumbly whole cane sugar that has a golden caramel colour and is a nice melting consistency for coffees and teas. There is also butter and regular white sugar in the centre of the table.
Butter and sugars on the table
Croque Monsieur $12
I try some of Tim’s croque monsieur and it is droolingly good. The bread is soft and spongey and goes well with the ham and cheese.
Baked eggs with chorizo $13
There were two types of baked eggs and Narelle chose the ones with chorizo which comes in a cute cast iron pot on a long wooden paddle. I dig a spoon into the pot and uncover layers of cheese, chorizo, tomato and other goodies and the predominant flavour is the garlicky chorizo. it is accompanied by green hued olive oil flecked slices of devastatingly good olive bread.
The wall calendar that reads “27th December: Lunch with Queen Elizabeth”
There are people that enter, the lunch crowd presumably so we depart and leave our seats for other customers who have gathered in the doorway. “Can you open one up in Sydney?” I ask Di and she laughs and says “No chance” . OK I tried!
Captains of Industry
The stairs leading up to the cafe
Our laneway adventures didn’t stop there. Tim shows us a nearby cafe called Captains of Industry which was originally set up as a cooperative with a tailor, cobbler and barber who operated independent businesses out of the same location. They started up a cafe called Captains of Industry and up some stairs which look like they don’t promise much, is a lovely cafe full of what Narelle calls “genteel masculinity” crossed with a slight grunge factor to it. We are stuffed from our brunch but we feel compelled to stay for a coffee.
Soy chai latte $4
My soy chai latte is rich and creamy and comes with a very unusual spoon with a…
An outdoor dunny (toilet)!
Captains Ginger beer
We try some of Narelle’s captain’s ginger beer which is home made. It’s strong in ginger and just the right amount of sweetness and is served flat with ice cubes in enamel mugs which we haven’t seen in forever!
The tailor’s room
Stylish gent
We loved this gentleman playing pick up sticks with a young girl too!
Sewing machine table
So tell me Dear Reader, do you know of any quirky cafe, shop or restaurant names?
Hardware Societe
120 Hardware Street, Melbourne VIC
Tel: +61 (03) 9078 5992
Captains of Industry
Level 1/2 Somerset Place, Melbourne, VIC
Tel: +61 (03) 9642 5013
http://captainsofindustry.com.au
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53 Comments | Add your own
Oooooh I love the tea cosy and chai is one of my favourites. Everything looks so beautiful, I really must visit Melbourne.
I would definitely agree that there are so many hidden gems in Melbourne!!!
I haven’t come across anywhere quite as quirky as that! Looks really neat. Your brioche looks unbelieveably good. Those baked eggs aren’t far behind … thanks for the fun post!
The quirkiness of the Melbourne eatery names (and names of other shops!) is one of the things I love the most about my adopted city. What’s not to love? The photo of the man playing pickup sticks is priceless.
Oh that tea cosy! Oh the fried brioche and ohhhh the croque monsieur.
Thanks for trying to bring it all to Sydney…
SSG xxx
Love all the quirky names, they are so much fun! That is quite the meal…your fried brioche looks like it was divine, Lorraine!
Goodness – those eggs look good. Reminds me a lil of Clipper Cafe in Glebe
Ohhhh…. I am in New York at the moment, and you just made me pine for my home town.
I have a sudden, intense longing to visit Melbourne again! Everything about Hardware Societe in particular just looks gorgeous.
I like the name of the newly rebranded Fifteen Melbourne – ‘The Kitchen Cat’
ahh Melbourne posts
I never seem to get out to the trendy places anymore
Love both these places. FYI, it’s Pope Joan and that stylish gent is Nick. He’s an artist around town.
Canberra tries so hard to be taken seriously as a ‘big’city that it goes for trendy not quirky. I am trying very hard to change that though! The little touches of wierd bring you back again and again to a cafe like those.
I read this with interest as I’m heading to Melbourne to see my brand new niece or nephew in 2 months. Thanks for the tips!
Melbourne can be so quirky and cute. I’ll definitely have to go to Captains of Industry next time, just to check out the adorable mugs and crockery!
I love Melbourne for its quirky back lane businesses, wish I had’ve written down lots of their weird & wonderful names, half the fun was wandering around reading the signs. Great post, makes me want to live in Melbourne
We’re off to Melbourne over easter and I just LOVE their laneways. Thanks for the tip on these great & quirky looking cafes. I want to try them both out. Love the old china and enamel cup…beautiful!
Little Creatures Brewery and rustical eating Dining in Fremantle WA
Cheers, enjoy your daily email
Maybe I haven’t looked hard enough but Brisbane is seriously lacking in quirkly places. I can’t wait for my next trip to Melbourne to properly explore all the laneways.
The presentation at those cafes is gorgeous. The first one looked like you were having breakfast at an old country house 30 years ago.
In Sicily the family would make crumbed deep fried sandwiches, with either nutella or cheese in them. Although I almost felt my heart stop after downing one…they were great
Started giggling at the start of the post and never stopped! Thanks Lorraine! The quirkiness (is that a word?) really got to me!
Way back when, whenever visiting my cousin in Perth, I LOVED going to ‘The Elegant Sufficiency’ – that’s the best I can do down memory/experience lane! Oh, the food was ‘luvverly’, but methinks the name covered the very, very small helpings!!
Melbourne is just the best- love love love my home town and love that I can take my cherubs to any of these wonderful places within 20 minutes! The only place I can’t go to is Mr Tulks- the barristas there are just too good looking. They seriously make me swoon.
aww, makes me proud to be a melbourne girl! thanks nqn
Aw, such cute crockery! And your brioche was just in time (ish) for World Nutella Day
But the thing that really blows my mind is that two days ago, I started thinking about pick up sticks for the first time in at least a decade. And then you post about it? Woah.
I love Hardware Lane!
I had lunch with two of my close friends there and they loved it a lot too…
Oops, forgot – THAT croque monsieur looked the most ‘grab it quickly’ since I was last on the boulevards of Paris eyeing the passing parade!
The stylish gentelman was my art teacher about 4 years back in highschool, the girl is his daughter.
Tea cosy and Brioche with Nutella! We all need a local like that!
That brioche and the baked eggs (in a pot! wow) looks sensational! My friend just moved to Melbourne on Sunday so I’ll have to pass this along to her. What a unique place.
I feel such a twinge of jealousy when I read about super cool melbourne places like this!
Another one for the “weekend in melbourne” list to stay away from the tourist traps!
Beautiful photos, I wander… do you tell the cafes’ owners that you are going to take photos, or ask the patrons, or just click discretely?
I am always feeling a bit… nervous about taking photos in restaurants.
ciao
Alessandra
I love that spoon! It’s not really a quirky name, more a quirky concept, but there is a cafe in Brisbane (Nundah) called Simply Duo which is a cafe by day/lunch, and then a French Vietnamese restaurant at night!
Lorraine thanks for the sufficiently gorgeous post. Loved having you with us. Thought I should share our new fried brioche with you as the banana/nutella version was retired at Christmas, and I would hate to disappoint your fans. It’s now, Shiraz poached baby pears with salted caramel and toasted peanuts. Hope we you agaib when you are next in Melbourne.
Mmmm … that brioche looks amazing. For quirky names, I still love “Get It India” and “Thai Panic”
Melbournians do ‘quirky’ very well. I suppose that’s what makes Melbourne different to other Australian Capital cities. I don’t get many opportunities to travel there but am always excited at the prospect of visiting this rich, cultural hub.
Quirky names….hmmm a few come to mind, Six Seven Ate,Fork N View in Leura,Holy Cow Surry Hills.
Would Love to try the breakfast menu at Hardware Societe, I heart Brioche
Hello! Wowww so glad I found your page! Goodness gracious! Those photos are beeeauutiful and make me wanna visit Australia even more~
melbourne laneways are full of things to discover, love them
do they still serve their coffee with mini spanish donuts at Hardware Sociéte ? They were so moorish.
You missed out on the Duchess of Spotswood Lorraine! Lols.. I love that I live in Melb
I’m soooo lucky!
Yeah, melbourne’s great. The fried brioche picture is just heaven on earth.
Oh my. I just realised what I have been missing out on. I pass by hardware societe almost everyday, but have never been in there. Seems like it’s time to check it out:) Thanks for the wonderful post!
Oh boy my husband loathes “cute” so I’d have to go and eat a plate of the fried brioche with a girlfriend! I love the quirky names but I would hope that the food was good too! Hmmm quirky names? I’ve got to think about that one…
Tapped and Packed in London is my current favourite coffee place- they haven’t got tea cosys (that is just darling), but they have vintage spoons which are super cute….
I rarely go out for breakfast, but that fried briche looks great!
Ah that brioche looks divine!
Definitely some quirky names in Melbourne, I love the cafe culture there.
Awww I miss Melbourne, this is one side of Melbourne we missed out on, it was only a very short trip though. Well have to plan a trip sometime in the near future.
Between you visiting and my daughter now living there, I am missing living in Melbourne.
I love all the quirky cafes in Melb! There is nothing of that nature in Canberra at all, well not that I have seen anyway…
I’m such a sucker for quirky names and art that it’s the type of stuff that will immediately draw me in….even if I’m not hungry or in the mood to shop, etc. I just have to explore anything with an interesting name or decor, etc.
i like to start my day off with complete and total decadence, so this seems to be a place i’d frequent! LOVE that fried brioche!
I am from Sydney and I love the breakfast Cafe’s in Melbourne. Hard to beat!
It was fun taking you and Mr NQN round Melbourne’s back streets! Let us know when you’re down next and we’ll find somewhere new.
Hope you don’t mind me plugging my Melbourne Historical iPhone app and Narrelle’s Melbourne Literary app here – they have lots of back street goodies in them to explore between cafes. Actually Narrelle’s also has a bunch of literary-themed cafes!
how have i not known about this place?? it looks amazing! true true, melbourne has the best little cafes with quirky names. laneways are the best for finding such gems. i am in love with Mr NQN’s order. drool! i must visit this place asap!
Heidi xo
I wish I’d known about Hardware Societe when I was in Melbourne last month…I would’ve loved to try a fried brioche! I seriously need to go back to Melbourne soon…
Hey Lorraine – next time you go, would you like a travel companion?
A few quirky names that I have come across in my travels are a fish shop in Brisbane named ‘A Salt and Battery’, and a vegetarian hippie joint called “Lentil as Anything” in St Kilda.
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