If you had asked me what my main aims were during primary school it wasn’t really to achieve great marks, be popular or become a prefect or school captain. It was quite honestly, to avoid all sport and P.E. classes. I’d rather have been in the library reading books or doing something peaceful. Having a hard ball thrown at you and hitting it with a wooden paddle seemed like a pretty good way to get some sort of injury and and my physical limitations and clumsiness always ensured that I was the last picked for any cricket game (and I shudder whenever the sport comes on television).
I was never given prime position of a bowler/ pitcher or a batter. I was the one out in the field assiduously avoiding all contact with the ball-we had all decided that it was best that way. And one day while far out in the field listening to the distant rumble of the cricket captain getting mad at another student for not hitting the ball far enough I was busy contemplating the dry yellow grass. A raven swooped down and sat on the fence beside me and looked at me. I was alarmed. I had seen the movie The Omen and didn’t know the difference between a raven or a crow and was terrified that the look that it gave me was a challenge.
It looked at me and I looked at it and it cocked its head so I cocked my head back. “Don’t peck my eyes out ok birdy?” I said to it and it didn’t agree or disagree so I considered that a draw. My mother who was superstitious told me that ravens were creatures that signified illness or death. The strange black bird kept me company for a few minutes that afternoon far out in the field and thankfully it didn’t attack me although perhaps it had seen me when the ball freakishly came out my way. I screamed, ducked and it whizzed past my head and the bird flew away in alarm. Clearly I was not to be messed with as the sight of a mere ball caused a meltdown.
A murder of crows?
I don’t know if these birds are meant to be crows or ravens-let’s just call these crows only because I saw these in Zilly Rosen’s great Zombie Cupcakes book and they called them crows. I decided to merge a couple of cupcakes-I wanted the crow to have a little red flesh in its mouth and look like it was eating at a wound. I know, I’m gruesome aren’t I?
And for those of you that miss the pretty things, programming will resume to become pretty again soon. Hmm come to think of it, perhaps it wasn’t my lack of coordination but my love for the gruesome that meant I wasn’t picked fors team….
So tell me Dear Reader, were you ever last picked for the sports team? Or were you good at sports?
Black Crow cupcakes
- black fondant (or chocolate fondant and black colouring powder)
- a tiny amount of red fondant
- red sprinkles for eyes
- flesh coloured fondant
- 1 large and 1 smaller cutter (fluted cutters are good to simulate bite marks)
- red gel icing tube (I used a Wilton one from Little Betsy Baker)
- toothpicks
Kneading the black colouring into the chocolate fondant
1. Shape crows first as they will need a few hours to dry out and set. I mixed some black colouring powder in a bowl with a tiny bit of vodka (1/2 teaspoon) and chocolate fondant. Knead well and if you have time, allow this to sit overnight and then knead again. Shape into golf ball sized balls and pinch a little away to make the head leaving the bulk for the body and pinch out a tail.
It’s hard to describe this and I am quite untalented at sculpting so my first few goes didn’t work but after three tries (just keep rolling it back into a ball and start again) my crows sort of looked like crows-well crossed with a seal… Add red sprinkles for eyes and allow to set on their sides. Roll out a tiny amount of red fondant to represent the flesh it is biting. Then roll out a tiny black piece of fondant about the size of a rice grain-that will be the bottom of the beak. Carefully adhere this to the crow’s top beak. Allow to sit on their side as shown to fully set.
2. Roll out the flesh coloured fondant and cut into circles large enough to cover the entire top of the cupcake to the edge of the paper (to keep the cake part covered and fresh). Then cut out a “bite mark” using the smaller cutter. Adhere the fondant to the cupcake using a little water. Smooth it over with a rectangle of overhead plastic sheet.
3. Take a toothpick and break it in half -you will use this to secure the bird onto the cupcake. Pipe red gel onto the part that isn’t covered with fondant and position crow with toothpick.
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66 Comments | Add your own
For something that looks very messy, you managed to have some very neat looking cup cakes:)
I was always picked last for sports teams. I hated PE. If we had to go swimming, I would say I had an inner ear infection (never have had one though…), in grade 7, I had an ingrown toe nail which was very handy for having a real reason not do to sport:)
Funny thing is, I now enjoy sport (well, walking, power walking and yoga). But this is not a result of school PE. I would sitll hate to join in a PE class. UGH!
Those are fabulous!
Cheers,
Rosa
Those are fantastic!
I was always picked last for sports, and that was fine with me. It was hard to explain to people why I didn’t play basketball, since I’m 5’9″ but once they watched me ungracefully walk across the room they generally understood.
I love your crows!! For some reason they seem kind of Monty Python-esque: “It’s just a flesh wound!” Haha, awesome job!
Same here, sports or PE didn’t get me very excited. My knowledge of cricket is pretty slim but I thought if you are on the field and the ball comes your way you are supposed to catch and through back, or maybe the rules were different in your school:) I remember once when I was looking in the opposite direction and got hit by a soccer ball on the face, really hard. I am starting to realise that killed many brain cells
I loved PE! I was actually sad when I gave it up for more ‘academic’ subjects in year 11 and 12!
Super spooky!
Cute story and cute treats! VEry creative, as always.
I never excelled at anything with balls and sticks, but did love ballet, water skiing, and gymnastics.
I love these cupcakes!
I wish I had thought of using plastic gloves, my hands are still black from tomorrows story and I keep finding random splodges of black in the kitchen.
I was always picked about second or third last for team sports. Which I am kind of happy about, it meant that nobody had unnatural expectations about my sporting ability.
If it was Hockey I would feign an injury on the side line. There was no way I would take the field!
These look amazing. Definitely looks like a crow. I was never good at sports. Still terrible at it!
Hated PE at school – why couldn’t they have dance or gymnastics or something? Now I’m a teacher/Librarian (you can tell I was also in the library avoiding sport) and the high school students now get to do Zumba! Heaps better than the continuous cricket I was tortured with!
I love your cupcakes and I couldn’t agree more , the prospect of the library was more favourable to me than sports!
Even though let’s say you are not good at sports, you have creative talents that most people don’t have! I’m really impressed by your ideas, creations, the execution, and everything comes out fantastic. I’m not very good at sports either but so as artistic talent too…I wish I have one of them!
A murder of crows is great; Diana’s right, they are very Monty Python. My friend’s son always has his birthday party on Halloween night. These will be perfect for the trick or treats. I’m obviously the minority, I loved sport and usually did the picking. At my school you had to be either brainy or sporty and I wasn’t brainy! GG
No I was never into sports hated it with a passion especially as I would always get a stitch if I needed to run. In High School after several notes from my Mum they let me use the sports period to do other school work – much better. lol
Lol. I too spent most of my time in the outfield pretending not to notice the ball coming near me. Cupcakes look very gruesome.
I suck at sports but used to be good at basket ball for some time. Lost the mojo when i get too caught up with school work.
Wow, these look amazing! I’m no sporty spice either
Gruesomely gorgeous! Never a huge sports fan, although somehow I represented the school for sprints and shotput- maybe because I was used to running from bullies and throwing my lunch to them?
They look fantastic, very gruesome. I was terrible at sports as well and in primary school all my reports started with ‘she is a lovely girl and tries hard…but’
I enjoy sports, always have, but I do remember all the girls doing handstands in the outfield of cricket matches because we were bored in primary school.
your cupcakes are gruesome lorraine but i love ‘em..
it’s so good to know there are other sport wimps in the world..i have only recently admitted to myself and occasionally to others that i was scared of sport..especially those associated with flying hard objects that can cause injury..hockey..softball..tennis..and where one had to hurl ones body at hard injurious object..high jumps..hurdles..gym..and then there are those sports like basketball where there’s a whole lot of bodies pushing and shoving as well as a flying hard object..i loved the library, art and i played chess for the school..i was pretty nerdy i guess..
Woman, I love how excited you get as Halloween approaches..
xx
I loved sport! I wish I loved it as much now then I could eat more cake. I would have rather been out staring happily at crows in the sun then inside being forced to use the left hemisphere of my brain. Though of course I would have been very competitive and probably not have noticed the bird way out in left field. I did have friends that were very creative about how to get out of any sport.
If only I was this creative though!
I always love your lead up to Halloween
Reading your introduction made me shudder! I wasn’t picked last, but not far from it. When I was at school, my head was a magnet for balls in the playground! I’d be minding my own business during lunchtime and basketballs, netballs and soccer balls would fly out of nowhere and hit me in the head.
I hated PE, I hated high jump and gymnastics! However I always loved exercise and still do – I just hate organised sport. It was my coordination that let me down.
All that seemed so significant at the time, but now we are aware how completely insignificant it is! We are all talented in other ways and can lead happy lives without any sport!
Oh Margaret! I was the same- where do those random balls come from? Such a hazard!
Alfred Hitchcock eat your heart out! WOW Lorraine!
LOL that was def me at school. I was never a fan of exercise at school. I actually quite like it now but I think you need to pick something that works for you. T-Ball and Cricket at school were never my things
Despite my usual fear of gruesome, I think these look really cool! Maybe because they’ve got animals on them without a severed arm in sight…
I hated sports and still do. I didn’t mind sprints and long jump but I didn’t like group sports. I did netball for 1 year when I was 11 then started dancing instead
Well, we do not have cupcakes, or any cakes for that matter, in common: but that is hardly news! But gym and sports: oh, yes
! Well, in all fairness I did not know I had been born with a heart valve defect until decades later, and this made a difference, but . . . loathed vaulting and tumbling and rope climbing and all that stuff, and only got picked one or two before the end for teams, ’cause friends kind’a realized I simply could not do it and felt sorry for me. BUT, I LOVE to watch cricket now and all the winter sports and swimming . . . if one just had the time! Oh, the craven cupcakes, by the way, look absolutely inspired 
!
I’m so glad you wore gloves!!! The crows looks great, but I love that eye! Looks like lots of ‘modelling clay’ fun!
They look fantastic, I love the blood flowing from the cupcakes!
Regarding PE, I was one of a couple of girls at a co-ed school in year 9. I remember my PE teacher writing in my report one year, “Sara likes to talk to X” and in X’s report he wrote “X is lazy and talks to Sara” I think that sums it up
HOW delightful, TRUE!
Brought back “haunting memories” of THE BIRDS with Karen Black too!
MOST amazingly spooky eyes for me,
If close mine, the movie, THE BIRDS and her eyes, I can still see!
Guess you can include athletic on my list,
As was rarely a sport I have not played or missed!
Those crows look pretty frightening. What’s even more scary is how you and I are so alike. I was the same way with sports during elementary school. Always the last-picked (except for dodge ball, which for some reason I did well in) and always hiding out in the outer field hoping no ball would reach me. That all changed in middle school, though, when I discovered tennis and a true love for it. I’m glad some things DO change from childhood.
You really enjoy this season right? I wasn’t a sport girl, I’m not a sport woman, this is a kind of skill not given to me. My husband also is not a sport one (even he looks like), but my son, you have to see him, tell him to practice a sport and he will as a “pro”, thanks God he looks like identical to his father.
I love these! When I was young I was very little but I was actually very good at high jump and long jump. But the sports teacher did not believe a short person could be good at long jump and high jump and removed me from the heats without giving me a turn and put a tall person in, instead. I was outraged at the injustice of it all. Arse!
Best. Cupcakes. Ever. Thank you for the great photos so I can try them at home this Halloween!
They’re fantastic! I used to shudder at the thought of PE too. In high school I was sick and missed a whole section of PE that happened to be gymnastics. They graded me based on the class average and it was the best grade I ever got for PE.
Oh lord, yes. I switched out of Outdoor Ed into Cooking as soon as I could. I tried OE to be with some friends, but quickly deciding that school camping trips were NOT my gig. I still remember the stink from the tents…
These cupcakes are just glorious, Lorraine! Though they remind me of that black bird creature that waited outside my bedroom window that time…
These were my favs at your party.
Haha I was the same as you, Lorraine!! I hated P.E. with a passion! It was the only class I got a C+ in. I wanted to lock myself somewhere and read all day.
Your cupcakes are superbly scary!
So? Did 70% of us have ‘excuse’ letters from Mom that we had our ’28-dailies’ and ‘could not possibly’? Well, my PE teachers would see me coming from afar and greet me with ‘Oh, Eha, not again?’! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Very ghoulish Lorraine! Yep – always picked last for the team. I absolutely hated PE – I think its why I struggle to maintain any sort of exercise regime these days – Mr Oakley, you have a lot to answer for!@!!!!
You are the Halloween Queen!
Another masterful design twist, Lorraine! Wish you lived near Buffalo, I’d hire you to do our shop window for Halloween!
I laughed at your post…I went to a HUGE high school, and gym class was a hodge-podge of every personality type known to humankind, and most of them mean. I always wanted to rake my fingernails down their faces and draw blood by the end of whatever ridiculousness had transpired in the never-ending 45 minute period! Enough said!
Cheers to your Ravens/Crows!
Zilly
Frightfully gruesome, fun cupcakes! It’s hard to think that far back, but I don’t remember any traumatic not being picked or fabulous athlete stories, so I probably just fell somewhere in the middle.
Cute but spooky cakes Lorraine!
Yes…I too was picked last for every sporting team at school…it seems you’ve tapped into a well of emotional childhood memories with this one!
These are awesome! Was looking for a good spoooooky treat to make for Halloween….very inspired now!
They look so realistic! Brings to mind Alfred Hitchcock’s movie,”The Birds”! Creepy!
I was so-so at sports, but I did pray that the ball wouldn’t come my way in softball:)
Incredible, yet again. The crow cupcakes look amazing.
Yes, I was ALWAYS picked last for sports and I was usually the one far afield. Mind you, I never really tried to hard, for fear of breaking a nail!
Glad those days are over.
Definitely need a Halloween party asap so I can try all your amazing Halloween recipes. Loving it.
You are clever. You wear gloves.
I am now sporting rather lovely blue and red stained hands and nails after making lego men out of fondant.
And if I have time, I am totally making these for Moo. THEY ARE AWESOME!
I was so terrible at sports when I went to school, but then somehow got voted as sports’ house captain in year 12. Go figure!
I can’t tell the difference between ravens and crows but I know I would prefer them to peck my eyes out than have someone throw a ball at me – was never one for sports – other than enjoying swimming which was nice and solitary!
hahahaha, lucky you didn’t waste your time on sports, hehehe
omg I’m terrified of bird pecking my eyes out!! Love the pics – great to see how you work the colouring
I was never picked last, I was always kind of good at sport. But god, if swooping birds were involved I’m sure I’d be picked last!!
Heidi xo
I’m loving all your Halloween posts and this is no exception. Birds can be pretty scary, and your little crows are quite macabre…but very fitting for Halloween and kind of cute at the same time!
I also avoided PE like the plague and sought refuge in the library. One day we really will have to meet, as it seems as though we truly were separated at birth!
Love the spooky crows, Lorraine…you are a master when it comes to fondant! And Halloween!
Woooooooow!!! WICKED!!
the blood looks sooo creepy lol..
This is seriously scary – I’ve never been one for crows/pigeons.. birds in general. Strangely enough I find these crows more creepy than say, spider cupcakes. How odd!
Gruesomely delightful
I was always picked last for teams, sport has never been my thing.
crows never did anything to me, but i hate ‘em. they’re just so…ominous!
Wonderfully gruesome. Bravo!
This is a fantastic recipe!I love that the not-too-detailed shape of the crows adds to the spookyness of the cupcakes. Does the black coloring stain?
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