People sometimes ask me why I left advertising to pursue this blog. The truth was that at the time that I started the blog, I didn’t have the most exciting client base. I had an extremely conservative health insurance company and a catalogue company. It wasn’t always that way and I did have my share of interesting work. One client was an adult distributor of adult films, clothing and paraphernalia that was trying to break into the mainstream market. They wanted ads in B.R.W., women’s glossies and on billboards as they were trying to appeal to females, couples and the middle of the road and they hired our very bemused mainstream ad agency to help them do that.
As I was in the media department, the magazines that made it our way were startling to say the least and our office became the go-to place for if you were bored. The guys from the production team would wander past and see how we were going which was amusing because they never visited us before. We would gladly hand over a plastic sealed magazine with bulldog clips on the cover where no office stationery featured (I’ll leave that to your imagination) and they would slink away the head guy holding the magazine like a Pied Piper while everyone trailed behind him begging him for a look. We were glad to get rid of the magazine that had us simultaneously gasping with horror and amusement.
One day, as the adult company was based in Perth, they asked if any staff could help man their booth at Sexpo, the annual sex expo. My friend Teena, who worked at another agency was intrigued as I was and wanting of a day out of the office, so we both went along.
The promise to train us in the intricacies of selling these items disappeared and they were preoccupied with other things so Teena and I had no idea what we were doing. But as it was a shop, people kept coming and wanting to buy things from us. There were all sorts of odd items – there was a more updated version of a blow up doll which just looked like the pelvic region of a woman without legs, head or torso. I was slightly disturbed by the fact that it looked like what a serial killer might do and when I touched the “realistic feeling flesh” it felt like I was touching the slow cooked jellied fat of pork belly.
Towards the end of our shift, I remember one couple asking me for my advice on something with a butterfly on it. I had no idea so I simply pointed to the most expensive one and said that that was the safest bet. He was skinny, pale and had a rat’s tail and a flannelette t shirt and she was the female version. They were nice enough, and quite embarrassed and either in love or lust. She turned to him and said affectionately “he’s so funny and sexy, he looks like a chicken when he’s naked.” I looked at them and thought that that would have to be the oddest compliment I had ever heard and from their expressions, it was certainly meant in a complimentary fashion. I summarised the proceedings and decided that I was perhaps living in an alternate universe. Teena and I left soon after when our shift had ended.
And it just fits that every time I see a raw chicken, I think of that couple and that guy. I hope their purchase lasted as long as their relationship.
And then I thought of that naked guy…
This is a last gasp winter dish. I say last gasp as I want to hurry winter along and scoot its chilly bottom out of here. I’m ready for sunshine and warmth. This roast chicken uses Heston Blumenthal’s method. I will warn that like his perfect steak, it requires the removal of smoke alarm batteries as the last step does tend to produce a lot of smoke. However, prior to this, it is a gentle way of roasting a chicken preceded by the moisture infusing step of brining a chicken in salted water. The result is a wonderfully tender, juicy chicken with a lightly crispy skin. The bread sauce is a mild, comforting sauce, not unlike a creamy bechamel and you could also add roasted chestnuts to it if you wanted a sweet, nutty addition. Even though the last step browns the chicken at the risk of the smoke alarm going off, I am aware that it is crucial, not only for visual appeal, but also to put out the image of that guy from my mind 
So tell me Dear Reader, are you ready for a change in seasons? Have you ever had a strange job? And if you have a blog, what prompted you to start it?
Winter’s Last: Tender Roast Chicken & Bread Sauce
- Brine (300g/11 ozs salt dissolved in 5 litres/10.5 pints of water)
- 1.5-2kg/3.3lb-4/4lb chicken
- 1 lemon
- 1 bunch of tarragon
- 120g/4ozs unsalted butter, melted plus extra for rubbing into the skin
- 1 small loaf white bread (about 150g/5 ozs once crusts removed) , one day old preferably, crusts removed
- 1 litre of milk
- 1 onion, peeled and sliced in half
- 1 bay leaf
- Freshly grated nutmeg
- a dozen black peppercorns
- salt and pepper for taste
- 1-2 tablespoons butter
1. Prepare the brine by dissolving the salt in the water. Remove fat from chicken and place the chicken and the brine in a large container that can fit both. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
2. Remove the chicken from the brine and discard the brine. Pat the chicken well with paper towels and allow to come to room temperature. The drier the chicken skin, the crispier it will be. I let the chicken rest wrapped in paper towels and then changed them when necessary.
3. Preheat oven to 90ºC /194F/ gas mark ¼ (yes, really that low). Roll the lemon on the counter to help release the juice and then prick at it with a sharp knife and insert the lemon and tarragon into the cavity of the chicken. Using the melted butter, brush this on top of the chicken and on the sides. Bake for 3-4 hours until a thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the breast reads at least 60C/140F.
The chicken after 4 hours in the oven on 90C. It’s that same guy with a slight tan…
4. Meanwhile, make the bread sauce. Whiz the breadcrumbs in a food processor until you get breadcrumbs. Place the milk in a saucepan along with the onion halves, peppercorns, nutmeg and bay leaf and heat until simmering. Add the breadcrumbs, stirring while it thickens and swells up, about 15 minutes. Add salt and pepper for taste. For a smoother bread sauce which I prefer (it tastes just like bechamel sauce), blend the bread sauce until smooth and serve hot with some butter to finish it.
5. Remove the chicken from the oven and turn the temperature up as high as it will go. And take out the smoke alarm batteries again because this baby will smoke. Place the chicken in the oven for 10 minutes until golden brown-watch it, I walked away and the smoke alarm went off! Once the smoke clears, replace smoke alarm batteries.
A golden chicken after 10 minutes in a very hot oven (300C/572F) and setting off the smoke alarm
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64 Comments | Add your own
That sauce is intriguing! A lovely chicken dish…
Cheers,
Rosa
Ooowah, a little different from the tabloid magazines I’d read during my lunch breaks at the bookstore!
This was the most outrageous, hysterical post to read!! Raw, naked chicken guy; it has all melded into one for me now.
I started my blog shortly after moving to Ecuador. It was a project that combined my man’s (a graphic designer)skills and *hopefully* my own. I figured, what’s to lose?? It was a South American trial run and I’m not looking back!
Thanks L, now everytime I eat chicken I am going to think ‘spicy naked bogun holding a butterfly toy/g-string/mass murder victim (albeit plastic). Lolz.
T x
What an interesting experience you must have had. JT and I went to one of these shows out of curiosity and you are quite right, we are living in an alternate universe.
I saw that video of Hester’s about cooking the chicken. Was it as moist and flavourful as he said it would be? It’s a little unnerving cooking a chicken at such a low temperature. Did you take it to his recommendation of 60°C or to what the government recommends for cooked chicken (our’s reco’s 73°C). Not withstanding it is a beautiful roast. And the Bread sauce sounds interesting but sadly not something I would make as we are trying to cut breads from our diets.
Oh my goodness, you are too funny. What a hilarious story! As for the chicken and sauce, what a delicious way to send winter on its way.
I really like this recipe. I am not afraid to cook for six hours just to get a good result at the end. So worth it!
I started my blog to help people staying at our house in Italy find their way around. Nearly 3 years later it has a life of its own….and I love it. I am about to leave lovely winter here in Brisbane for gorgeous autumn in Italy.
That was quite a story, Lorraine. And quite a recipe as well. I love the idea of this bread sauce.
Our seasons aren’t so extreme here in Central Mexico, but I still welcome them. I probably started my blog out of the urge to share what I have learned along the way about cooking–to share some of my travels. I’ve always been a teacher of some sort and that may have behind it to a small degree as well.
Lorraine, you crack me up with your funny blogs.
Yes,yes,yes, bring on Spring/Summer, I so detest Winter, especially those horrendously windy days!
I used to work as a switchboard operator back in late ’70′s at what was then Telecom. Oh the late night shifts were the funniest with phone calls from the weirdos making all sorts of bizarre sexual comments! Enough to make your hair curl.
Thanks for Bread Sauce recipe. Mum used to make this back in UK and I have never had it since coming here 40+ yrs ago, but will definitely be giving it a go.
That is one very different… Interesting job where you must have met unique people… And chickens
And gasp is right, summer sun is already coming out!!! Your roast chicken looks like the perfect way to say goodbye and I love your beautiful sauce!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Hi Lorraine. This sounds great except for the final infusion of smoke. (Sounds a bit like the final scene of ‘Once Upon a Time’!) Do you think that putting the chicken onto a BBQ for the final browing would achieve the same result?
Nothing quite says home like a roasted chicken, right? It’s one of the ultimate comfort foods. This looks just delicious!
Now that was a bizarre story to start my day, but it sure got my attention!
When I worked in a florist shop, we got a request for someone to deliver flowers to a conference dressed as a French Maid. I was the one nominated, and as I walked through town to the breakfast meeting I was mistaken for a hooker. Those were the days…..
Roast chicken is a winner everytime. I always brine the Christmas turkey but add spices and cranberry juice to the brine, works a treat.
I started my blog to share recipes with family and friends that are scattered all over the world, now I want to do a bit more with it as a challenge that I enjoy.
The chicken cooked looks delicious – I choose to ignore that it allegedly looks like a naked man with a rats tail.
We here in Lakeland Florida, USA are so ready for our cooler fall weather if it is really coming. Last few years , fall seems to be just as hot as summer
though.
I have never heard of bread sauce. The idea is great though, replacing the flour. Why have I never thought of this before. The last of winter is slowly ending, but I am definitely looking forward to Spring
I will never look at chicken the same way…
What a fun story, Lorraine! Yes, I am so ready for summer to end (never thought I would ever say it!), heat is exhausting…
I’ve not tried cooking chook this way, but I’ve heard lots of good things about brining so will give it ago. Without the batteries, of course.
What a hilarious day! I don’t think I could have resisted manning the stall either.
That’s a very good question about why I started the blog. To be honest I really don’t know. I wanted to write and I loved food so one day I just started and 2 years later I’m still writing!
I can’t wait for some warmer weather, was over the cold about half way through June!
I started my blog as hubby set it up for me as a birthday present as I always took photos of food when we were on holidays.
A naked chicken…!!! that’s so funny, but I’m just imagining that guy.
We have very cold days now and I’m wishing the sun starts to come and give us some warm…it’s so freeze in this side of the world.
Firstly, this chicken recipe surely is so interesting that I am really curious to try
! Even if I don’t often bake a whole bird! Uhuh! My smoke alarm is quite close to the kitchen and hard to reach, but . . . Can’t wait for spring to arrive and am madly making lists of all the herbs and other perennials I lost during my ‘annus horribilis’ over the past 12 months! Strange jobs: don’t get me going – I’ll beat yesterday’s marathon efforts [mea culpa!!] on your page! Do love and relate to your agency story tho’: many similar occasions for me, and if you were the only female company director in a large firm, it was a case of ‘put up and shut up’ even if you were the Managing Director’s daughter-in-law 
!
Lovely-sounding chicken Lorraine, but after all that effort, how about some vegies? I get so disappointed when no veg suggestions are even mentioned. It doesn’t have to be uber-healthy, but at the moment it’s chicken with white bread and lots of butter!
Liz, we just had a green salad with it. I was tired after making this and trying to do lots of things at once. As you said, after all of that effort…
HAHHA thats such a funny story Lorraine
But kinda weird that you think of this couple every time you see a raw chicken hehe
I am SO ready for SPRING hehe 2 more weeks yay! But at the same time i’m worried because that means I can’t hide behind huge jackets anymore
i’ve gained quite a few pounds hehe
I started the blog because I really loved desserts and wanted a way to share with others and just connect with the world outside of my 9 to 5 job
but you really inspire me to take the blog out there and more seriously hehe
I’ve always wondered what a bread sauce was… I am SO ready for a change in season. I’ve been back from European summer for 10 days & I’m so ready for summer again
Heidi xo
Dear Lorraine, I loved reading this post, it’s a shame advertising became boring but then again, it prompted you to start your kick-ass food blog so that isn’t such a bad thing.
Oh and yummy looking chicken you’ve made there.
<3 MsBrulee
So butterflies are sex toys? If only I’d gone to Sexpo I could have discovered that for myself. I would be devastated if someone told me I looked like raw chicken when naked. Each to his own I guess. Beautiful looking chicken Lorraine xx
Nice pics! That sounds like the effort was worth it, thanks for testing out Hestons method for us.
Liz, I have been a reader for a year and there are lots of side suggestions I have seen. Some people are so quick to moan!
Yum this looks gorgeous Lorraine! I would love a change and be able to do my blog full time *dreams*….
Lunch beckons! That chicken looks amazing, and brining sounds like a great method..!
Wow, what an image! Luckily the naked man with chicken skin was quickly replaced with that glorious looking roast chicken! Amazing. I’m keen to give this a go
I started my blog because I love food and sharing the love of it
Definitely ready for a change in seasons, spring is my favourite! I started my blog because I needed a creative outlet while on maternity leave for the 3rd time. I needed encouragement from a friend though. I had written a few pieces for a magazine and really enjoyed it so my blogger buddy told me to start posting online and I did! Haven’t looked back. A little addicted.
In our house, smoke alarms and roast chicken just goes together. But, Lorraine, now Ill never get that naked chicken guy out of picture.hahahaha
Bread sauce sounds intriguing! Your experience is funny.
You are sending winter on its way with golden roasted chicken, I will receive your chicken and accept the coming of Autumn all the way here in Toronto…. ah, chicken. (Out, naked chicken guy, get out of my head)
Blogging/cooking/baking is just too much fun – cooped inside a lab watching experiments yield negative results 9 out of 10 times, it’s just nice to know that the kitchen holds hope for me
And I get to meet awesome people through their awesome blogs and learn all sorts of awesome recipes and other awesomeness of their lives. Awesome.
Thanks for the recipe!
I just marinated my chicken, think I’ll try your bread sauce to go with it. Very unique recipe, never really tried bread sauce. Thanks for sharing.
I have not had the strange job but my husband has. He used to call himself a sex worker – he used to work in the mating shed at a piggery.
I will never ever be able to look at a chicken the same way
This looks delicious! I might wait for a slightly cooler day to make it – it’s a balmy 26* here in Brisbane today…
And that whole story was hilarious! Not sure I see how chicken equals sexy…
I’m glad you can still eat chicken after meeting that “interesting” couple. Ha ha.
LOL – at your story!! I’ll never look at a raw chicken the same way again!
Glad to see your cooked chicken looks a lot more appealing, hehe!
I simply can’t wait for Springtime! It’ll be amazing to have the warmer weather but I would miss all the hearty wintry meals like this one – which looks fantastic by the way. Interesting choice for sauce ingredients..
oh no, dont rush winter away. I love the hearty meals and sleeping in whilst it cold.
OK. I will no longer look at raw chicken the same way LOL BUT I;m with you on getting outta the office even if it was for sexpo hehe
LOL to the comment abt the guy looking like a chicken when he’s naked.
Have never served my chicken with bread sauce but that sure looks good.
that does sound like your job had some odd moments – wonder if your blogging compares with the situations that you find it leads you into! I was wondering where you were going with chicken and sex toys – was thinking along the lines of a book I read ages ago about vegetarianism and feminism which talks about women being talked about as meat
ha! ha! ha! What a funny story! I worked in advertising, too, but I was in automotive. We didn’t sell sex, but man, that’s all these guys every wanted. A bunch of horny toads. When I attended the automotive conferences, I was one of the few fully dressed women walking the floor. Maybe the sex toy company should attend a few automotive shows!
I am not ready for a change of season. Summer’s gone by too quickly. Although I’m always up for a great roasted chicken. xoxo Mum
Oh dear … I shall never look at a chicken quite the same way again. And yes, I’ve had some interesting jobs. Working for magazines and newspapers, I’ve interviewed all sorts of people and learned a lot about alternate worlds!
I went to a Chinese restaurant yesterday and a dish of stewed pork belly came out, normally my favourite, but I couldn’t face it after your story Lorraine!!! I think you owe me lunch friend
So funny, but I will close my eyes next time and eat it anyway!
I cannot help but to laugh out loud when I read this! A naked chicken! surely it is something that would stuck to our head whether we like it or not…
I live in a tropical country which the term forever summer is literally forever summer. so no hope in changing seasons, then! hahaha
Here chook chook chook…LOL.
Never had a strange job, but as much as I love my music teaching day job for 32 years, I started my blog because I am passionate about food.
It may seem silly but I’m not looking forward to a change in season just yet as I really don’t handle the hot weather. You can always put another jumper on but when it gets hot there are only so many clothes you cant take off without being pulled up for indecent exposure!
I am sooo in love with slow cooked chicken at the mo. It is a logical progression from my passion for slow cooked eggs. Our local eatery The Precinct does an amazing slow cooked version – the meat is seriously like butter!
i’ve NEVER heard of bread sauce, but by golly, it’s quite obviously outstanding! what a great spread, lorraine.
Bread sauce looks intriguing and the chicken looks fabulous. I can imagine how succulent it would be, yum!
I probably haven’t had strange jobs but definitely had jobs where I’ve had to deal with strange people!
it’s saturday morning for me here in South India, but you made me long for a classical english sunday roast chicken! Thanks and have a nice week-end.
Sorry I simply had to come back after I read the other comments. Roast chicken without breadsauce simply is no roast chicken. I know what we will have for lunch now, lol
I’ve not made bread sauce before… guess I better get going before beach weather sinks in
Hi- what do you do with the 30ml’s of wine??
HI Jane-you don’t really need it, it was from the original recipe which made gravy but since we have the bread sauce, you don’t really need gravy. I’ve amended the recipe, thanks!
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