One day, I was talking to a friend (who has requested to remain anonymous 
) and her husband in a noisy restaurant when he said something and I swivelled my head around in alarm.
“Did you just say something about ‘safe word’?” I asked him. He burst out laughing and she looked a bit confused.
“I did not mention anything about a safe word” he said laughing.
“Good, because I don’t think I need to know what your safe word is,” I said indicating the two of them. “That is waaaay too much information.”
Safe words, in this context, are of course those words that you use in intimate situations to call a time out. However my friend was looking at this exchange bemusedly.
“What are you talking about? Isn’t a safe word the word you give to your kids if you arrange someone to pick them up?” she asked.
“Okay that’s it, I have to lend you Fifty Shades of Grey” I said to her.
So while safe word has different meanings to different people, so does certain food. Growing up, all our family ate was Cantonese food. I yearned for something that wasn’t Chinese and when friends offered me a taste of macaroni cheese or cauliflower cheese, I’d jump as high as a seal. Conversely, they would covet my Chinese meals and we would do after school food swaps where we’d visit each other’s houses and eat the food.
Macaroni cheese is undeniably a comforting food. What’s not to love about a baked cheesy pasta with a carapace of crunchy buttered crumb topping, blistered until golden brown. And then there is its distant cousin cauliflower cheese. I first saw the idea on Johanna’s site and it sounded delicious. As a vegetable lover, I enjoy macaroni cheese but yearn for some vegetables in it. This recipe is a mix of both recipes and is based on my macaroni cheese with bacon, one of my most popular recipes from a few years ago. You could leave out the bacon which I did for one version although I will admit even to my vegan in laws that the bacon does add that much more flavour to it.
So tell me Dear Reader, which definition of safe word did you have? And do you find yourself trying to add vegetables to dishes? And did you ever do food swaps with friends?
Cauliflower Macaroni Cheese
An original recipe by Not Quite Nigella
Serves: 6 people
- 500g/1 pound dried macaroni pasta
- 250g/8.8 ozs cauliflower, cut into florets
- 1.5 cups milk
- 1 tablespoon oil
- 2 rashers middle bacon, sliced into bite sized pieces (optional)
- 1brown onion, chopped
- 1 cups cream
- 1 1/4 cups grated tasty cheese
- 3/4 cups gruyere cheese
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
- 2 tablespoons dried breadcrumbs
- 2/3 cup grated tasty cheese extra
- 2 tablespoons of butter, cut into cubes
1. Preheat oven to 180C/350F or preheat grill. Place a large pot of water to boil and cook cauliflower in the water until soft or steam it. Remove from the water and cool for 5 minutes. Then blitz the cauliflower in a food processor Meanwhile cook the macaroni in a pot of salted boiling water until al dente – ensure that it does not get too soft. Drain and set aside.
2. Grease a large (about 30x25cms) baking dish. In the same saucepan, heat the oil and fry the onion and bacon until onion is soft and translucent and bacon is cooked-about 5 minutes. Then add the cream, milk and nutmeg and wait until it comes to a boil, turn it down to a simmer and add the cheeses, cauliflower and macaroni.
3. Place the cheesey macaroni mix in the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle over with breadcrumbs and cheese and then dot with butter cubes. Bake in preheated oven for 5-10 minutes.
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66 Comments | Add your own
Hi Lorraine, having just finished all three installments of 50 Shades, I would defer my definition to the same one as you had…plus I don’t have kids either.
We Canadians call this dish Mac & Cheese, or the commercial version is known as Kraft Dinner or KD. I must admit I so much more prefer your gorgeous dish.
We had a wonderful Mac & Cheese in a tiny little town in Switzerland called Appenzeller and they made it with the name-sake cheese. They served it with apple sauce and it was TDF.
A great idea! So refined tasting.
Cheers,
Rosa
I tend to think of dangerous things when it comes to safe word. if you know what i mean.
This looks so delicious! I am always trying to add vegetables to dishes that i love, but really cant justify eating based on there nutritional value.your macaroni is a great compromise!
Oh and I think there is only one reason for a safe word
The BDSM world is probably feeling very stabby that safe words are now synonymous with 50 Shades of Grey.
I love sneaking pureed butternut squash into my macaroni & cheese – I like to think it’s healthier so then I can indulge more often
.
I never realized there was a safe word, or even the concept! But I’d rather concentrate on your gorgeous macaroni
I love the addition of cauliflower makes it crunchy complete
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
This mac and cheese sure hits the spot in this vile cold weather. Maybe it’s my mind, but safe word only ever did have one meaning, as far as I knew. I don’t food swap – no reason.
I love macaroni cheese too. It’s such great comfort food. I add leeks to mine and some chives so it does have a vegetable and some greenery! This looks lovely. I think I need to read 50 Shades of Grey as I’m feeling out of the loop xx
Wow, so delicious … Jamie Oliver does a version of this but I think your version is much better.
Having come from a Croatian household where we ate lots of pork, I used to absolutely love being invited over the road for a lamb roast
and beautiful butter cake with pink icing and hundreds & thousands on it.
Whereas my Aussie friend couldn.t get enough of my mums pita (home made filo pastry with cottage cheese and onion filling) or the decadent tortes filled with butter cream, ganache and walnut.
Wonderful memories
There are no words to say how good this looks. Less guilt due to the veggies too!
Hi Lorraine,
The cauliflower seems to have disappeared in the method after boiling it – I’m assuming it’s added in with the cheese mix & pasta stage to cream?
Might do for my vege-aversion child!
HAHAHA that’s so funny Lorraine
that you thought your friends said ‘safe word’ hehe I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey and even then I know what safe word means hehe 
I definitely swapped with my friends because like you…I grew up eating Chinese food and I got SO incredibly bored and sick of it ~ I remember a friend of mine said he never had sushi and i was the first person who gave it to him hehe
Haaaaa love it. I am always trying to add vegies to meals. Monday night I added carrots to my Japanese curry. They add a lovely sweet flavour
I am just hoping your friends use different safe words for kids and grey activities
I’m in the middle of 50 Shades Darker so you know what safe word means to me!
That’s a very clever idea using it for kids although maybe it needs a new name. Perhaps ‘safety word’ would work?
Maybe I’m going to have to read 50 shades of grey after all!
Hi Lorraine,
I’m excited, and confused! I love my mac-cheese and I love my cauli-au-gratin and had never thought of combining the two. I know what I’m having for dinner tonight! But I’m confused because I would not have thought of blitzing the steamed cauli – but I’m not sure in your recipe if you combined it into the cheesey macaroni mix, or put it as a layer on top of it.
The way I’m looking it’s still in the food processor!
HELP!!!
What a great recipe- the best of both worlds, and bacon always makes everything taste better! I always try and sneak in more veggies to my families meals.
A safe word is one that isn’t the f.word, the b.word, the c.word, or the s.word, isn’t it?
Mmmmmm, I love cauliflower. I put it in a mash last night to cut down on the carbs – so yummy! Thanks for another great recipe xo
This dish looks soooo comforting. My son would love it and I definitely will make it for him on his next visit. I’ve never done food swaps per se, but have certainly eaten a lot of great foods from the homes of friends from all over the world, and they at mine–does that count?
I’m with you on “safe word,” having never heard any other reference–and I haven’t even read Fifty Shades yet!
hahahahaha!!!! Lorraine, you are too much, and too funny!!!! I can only imagine your GF’s face had she got your joke.
I seldom, if ever, make Mac and Cheese. When I do, I tend to add bits and pieces of this and that as well.But never tried cauliflower.
Just wondering Lorraine – at what point does the mulched up cauli go in? You seem to have left it out.
I suspect I would have liked your cantonese food much more than the bland versions we had at restaurants when I was young (or even worse, out of a jar).
Love the idea of including the cauli puree in the macaroni cheese. You can never have too many veg in your dinner. I have started to include tofu bacon in this sort of dish because I love the smoky chewiness of bacon even though I eat a veg diet.
Oh I LOVE cauliflower in man n cheese – it really adds something… and you can feel less guilty as you are getting some veggies!
Hi I never really swapped food as a kid but I know my kids do! I send so much time cooking cakes and biscuits for their lunch boxs trying to avoid pre packaged foods containing preservatives etc only to find that they swap other kids for their bought lunch box treats!!!
I call it Cheese Macaroni. I have one son who LOVES it!
btw…. about 50 Shades…I read 2 of them and unfortunately, I cannot download the 3rd to my Kindle…as I just don’t give a Sh*t aobut the characters. If I hear MY INNER GODDESS one more time I may throw up my Cheese Macaroni!
But I do love you, Lorraine!
I didn’t know there was any other context for the phrase ‘safe word’ other than in the bedroom. Love the recipe. Think I can make this today
Cauliflower, macaroni AND cheese. Oh my.
Sad to say, these days ‘safe word’ is more along the lines of your friends’ definition. I need to get out more…
Yes, these days I add vegetables to just about any old recipe I cook: variations on themes
! Achieve some interesting combos!! If one of my dishes turns out extraordinarily yummy [well, it does happen!] I have a tendency to take small ‘taste’ plates to neighbours, many of whom sadly do not cook from scratch at all! So, not too many swaps 
! If you asked me to define ‘safe word’, totally ignorant me would think of a password, be it to a bank account or anything on the Net: so this is quite beyond my ‘modern day’ knowledge 
!
Hi everyone! Oops sorry about the cauliflower bit. I’ve added it to the recipe, you just add during the step where you add the cheeses and macaroni
xxx
“Chocolate!!!!”
Haha. My safe word.
Meaning – Any emergency situation, intimate or not, I have some chocolate right here in my purse, here, let me give you some.
Thanks for the recipe, definitely will try this , there. bookmarked
I don’t like cauliflower, I remeber when wa a kid my mother forced me to eat cauliflower. Now I just eat it because normaly it comes on salads, but it’s not my favorite. I know it’s healthy, so maybe I can try hidding it on the mac&cheese for my kids.
And by the way, that words mean for my family the word to use in case of emergency to identify us. Ok, I’m still waiting for my Spanish copy of Grey, so maybe next time I will say something different
The word and concept Safe has become a myth… I know I am sounding little harsh for this word but somehow nothing seems safe anymore…
But I wanna enjoy this delicious Mac n Cheese and wallow in the comfort of this deliciousness…
I love the addition of cauliflower, will try it like this next time!!!
Delicious! Cauliflower with macaroni is the best combination. I think I’d add some white wine into the sauce as well, just to provide a grown-up vibe to the dish
When the kids were per-school age we would just spell out the words
but can’t do that anymore , not even with the grandkids, too smart for their ien boots lol I’ve yet to read the trilogy of Grey but need to soon to satisfy my curiosity and not feel out of touch.
It goes without saying I didn’t eat lunch that day. I would have loved to swap with Lorraine , her mum used to bake every day and her lunchbox always contained a slice of yummy cake with pink icing! 
Don’t often make Macaroni Cheese as my husband (fusspot ) doesn’t consider it a meal but a side dish but I personally love the combination of flavours so mIght just make it for lunch one day.
Sandwich swapping in primary school only happened a few times but my foray came to an abrupt halt after swapping with a Croation friend. She had my yummy salami and I unfortunately ended up with her pickled onion
love this! looks super delicious!
Ah, there’s the more run-of-the mill mac n cheese and then there are probably 50 ways of creating the dish
Kitchen & bedroom recipes are many and varied…
So you blend the cauliflower? I actually just made a macaroni cheese with cauli and mix veggies too for a magazine, it looks more interesting to me that plain macaroni cheese, and a good way to add veggies to a main
. Funny enough I never seen macaroni cheese in Italy… my comfort food would be more like… lasagne 
.
And no school lunches when I was I child, we all went home to eat our lunch!
Ciao
Alessandra
Lorraine, that’s exactly what I do: I add minced cauliflower or broccoli to many dishes so our teenager can’t pick it out!
I do need to read Fifty shades of grey, everyone is talking about it… Although I can’t get over the reviews, which are less then positive. Maybe when I fly somewhere and need to waste my time…:)
Looks wonderful! Can’t decide whether to read that book.
Love this! Bacon is a condiment in my opinion
I always think of the R-rated meaning of safe word
And wow, this looks SO amazing. Something I’d definitely make on my non-healthy eating days.
this sounds good, all that cheese but any sorta of veggies will balance it out
Oh man that looks good. I shouldn’t have read this post at 3pm when the hunger pangs are setting in.
I’m with you NQN around the safe word, that’s the only context I was aware of….
I hate cauliflower. The smell of it was one of only 2 smells when pregnant that made me feel sick (the other was coffee). Love Terry Durack’s recipe for grown up Mac and cheese.
And I clearly need to get out more – safe word? Not read Shades, and don’t intend to given what I’ve heard on the quality of writing.
I am not a fan of cauliflower but you just made it a lot more appealing with your cauliflower mac & cheese. Perhaps, I will give that a go. Your photos make this look so tempting!
Cauliflower in macaroni cheese is just so good – love the crispy top on this too!
Wow, this looks fantastic! Looking forward to giving it a try
Yum yum, I’ve just started really enjoying cauliflower after making a dynamite soup with it. This recipe looks like another rather enticing option for cauliflower, I mean anything involving pasta and oodles of cheese has to be good:-) My Mum told me a story of when she was a young girl in primary school, just after she’d moved from Italy to Australia, she was fascinated by Vegemite. After school she would trade her Sao’s with my Nonna’s home made apricot jam for her best friends Vegemite sandwich. She must’ve really craved Vegemite because I’ve had my Nonna’s apricot jam and it is fabulous!
This looks very comforting, It’s been a while since I had macaroni Cheese and this has me craving =]I love the idea of putting cauliflower in it. I haven’t read Fifty shades, but I definitely knew what a safe word was!
This looks fab Lorraine! I was just thinking about mac and cheese with cauliflower last night and then you shared this recipe… Great minds think alike?
I will try this.
Hope you are well. Sorry I haven’t been online much these days.
I also made a cauliflower bake (but with potatoes and bacon) the other day and it was soooo nice! I can imagine how tasty this recipe is.
Cauliflower is cheap and in season at the moment which is fantastic.
I’d LOVE to food swap with you any day, but my lips are sealed about my safe word. BTW, bring on the bacon baby!
oooooooooooooooooooh I love me a good mac and cheese. Love the addition of the cauliflower. It doesn’t get used much in cooking but this is the perfect way!
Love this! I’ve been mad for cauliflower lately. I totally would have loved to swap lunches with you
Heidi xo
Yum, my favorite winter meal. I always add dijon mustard for that extra taste in lieu of bacon.
Oh wow! You’ve combined two of my favourite foods: cauliflower cheese AND Mac & cheese. Love it! I’d love that as an accompaniment or even as dinner in its entirety!
(And I’ve always thought of “safe words” in the naughty context, hehe!)
OK this looks so good I am totally making it. Mr Sweet lurves Cauliflower cheese (forever buying them and taking them to his mum’s house to cook). I have kids so I always try to add vegetables into everything I make.
Hahaha…sounds like your friend needs “educating”! She’s lucky to have you, Lorraine!
you have to completely mask the smell, flavor, and texture of cauliflower to get me to eat it. this is a nice way to accomplish that.
I grew up Japanese food most of the time too (plus some Westernized Japanese food) and swamp means some other Japanese food. I hope to include more Western food in my repertoire so that kids get to eat various food. I’m going to make this when it gets cooler and need more comfort food. Looks scrumptious and I do like to add more veggies!
The crispy top layer looks so good! yum!so cheesy too
Cauliflower and cheese is like a sainted combination…mmm. I did the food swaps a little when I was a kid too – I think it’s the upside of having an Asian mum? hehe
Love a good macaroni, thanks for the recipe:)
Never used safe words, never really had the need, I think I’d be verbally very direct if I wasn’t keen on something:)
I love veggies, but don’t feel that they have to be in every course. I was fairly inventive when my son was little, but now he’ll eat most everything except the f word “fruit”.
Now to food swapping – yes I was into that. I used to swap walnut & grape sandwiches lovingly made for me by my Mum for jam sandos. Can’t believe I did that.
I laugh out loud when I read this! 50 shades surely has changed a lot of people definition on safeword!
This is amazing, used spelt pasta, more cauliflower and put truffle salt on top, I loved it!!
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