The Big Merino

Australians have a love of big things. Big icons of things in smaller towns to be precise. These were often used to lure tourists who were also into photographing and seeing large things. There’s even a movie about it called “Big Dreamers”. There’s the Big Banana in Coffs Harbour where my brother in law The Assman worked as a train driver and more close to home, there the 97 tonne and 15 metre tall Big Merino dubbed “Rambo” which we’ve happened upon. Standing proud and grey, Queen Viv told us of the tale where his modesty was clipped as it was deemed too offensive. Well, the balls are back baby and we find ourselves contemplating them closely.

They are lighter in colour you know…

“They’re a lighter colour!” exlaims Queen Viv and indeed they are a lighter shaded family jewels. Locals were offended by the sight of the anatomically correct Merino but apparently he has had them restored in their lighter colour. We can’t go up very far – once upon a time you could see out his eyes, but we feel affection to this dignified beast that had some rather undignified things done to him in the name of decency.

The Loaded Dog

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“Collector is not famous for Collectors” or so the advertisement goes. What it is famous for however is Lynwood  cafe. On our drive to Canberra, Lynwood Cafe was suggested to us by my friend Teena as not only was it famous for its home made preserves and jams but it was a must visit as we were cold and hungry as our Plan A for lunch didn’t quite work out as planned…

We know it’s coming up in the drive as there is a sudden a cluster of cars amongst the landscape and a lot of activity. The building is a converted 1830’s bakery where outside sits a pile of firewood and a “ride blackboard ” where people list where they’re going and when so people can hitch a ride along. Inside there are rough cast white walls, country style green and white checked tablecloths and settings which include well worn bone handled knives. Despite the undoubted country charm of it, there’s a certain style that would appeal to the well to do Sydney sider and that’s not lost on the clientele – everyone looks as if they’d be at home in a Double Bay Cafe although they’re friendly and chatty (and the BMWs and Audi’s in the carpark are a dead giveaway).

The autograph wall of fame

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Clocks…

Clocks…we waited with bated breath for the cuckoo to pop out!

And more clocks!

I’ve known my friend Lulu since High School. We’ve kept in contact through all sorts of moving, living overseas and moving far away and most recently she and her husband moved to the Blue Mountains. And she’s a reader of my site as much as she can with a 1 year old and another on the way. She does know of my predilection for the unusual and kitsch and when she and her husband dined at Swiss Cottage a while back they eagerly told me all about it from the great food to the waiter that balances chairs on his chin.

Bamboo ski poles!

Traditional boy’s outfit

I was of course intrigued. I had visions, and I don’t know why, of the giant from Twin Peaks balancing chairs on his chin and the dwarf dancing alongside. Perhaps it’s the fact that the Great Northern Hotel in Twin Peaks looks like it might be a setting for a Swiss restaurant-the Blue Mountains certainly has that Twin Peaks air about it. Or perhaps, and more likely, I have an overactive and inaccurate imagination. In any case I rang to book and asked the woman on the phone whether the chair balancing waiter would be there and she assured me yes.

Huge cow bells

Wooden ice skates

We’re early for our reservation as we need to head back to Sydney a bit earlier than planned and this is not a problem at all. We sit down in this adorably decorated cottage adorned with all sorts of Swiss memorabilia from vintage bamboo ski poles, lots of sets of skis; Swiss cuckoo clocks, a traditional knife sharpener and children’s outfits.

We order a range of dishes to share as we all want to try as much Swiss cuisine as possible. Walking through the lobby we see pictures of celebrities that have dined here including Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman when they were married. Of course I asked what they ordered – it was cheese fondue and soup and the smiling French Swiss owner says that they stayed for quite a while.

More wooden skis

Raclette $54 for two

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