My parents will testify that I’ve had strange tastes ever since I was small. Even though small children are supposed to want to be like everyone else, and of course I did to an extent, I still had certain odd tastes. One example was that I didn’t want a school bag that every one else had. One year I latched onto this strange bag that my mother was given. It was a large embroidered tote bag and open at the top. While everyone else had lovely hard cased school bags I decided to take this bag to school for several months for reasons that totally escape me now. I must have looked like a pint sized embroidery enthusiast or nanna. No wonder people gave me a wide berth…

For a child anything out of the ordinary from the boring school day is exciting and one day a student reported seeing a gigantic huntsman spider in the bag room adjacent to the classroom. The teacher himself was too scared to do anything about it although huntsman spiders are harmless they move very quickly and look gruesome. And so he carried on with the lesson with not a single child listening instead quivering in excitement and anticipation should the spider come round the corner. By this stage the spider had morphed in our minds into a 1 metre wide beast with glowing red eyes and hairy legs.

His assistant teacher kept an eye out for it from her corner of the room. Suddenly she startled in her seat and we followed her eyes follow the beast from the top of the ceiling down to the bottom before she yelled “It went into a bag!”

We all rushed up to take a look at the bag room. And of course don’t you know it but she was pointing at my bag. Having this open tote bag meant that spidey had decided to seek refuge in my bag of all bags. And then she shook out my bag with the sandwich and pencils and books and all I could think was “Of course it was my bag”.

I know it sounds terribly egocentric but that seminal event imprinted something in my mind. “Of course it would have to happen to me” was something that I would often mutter. It could be a bad thing or it could be a good thing and my friends have often remarked on how odd things do happen to me whenever they are out with me. I’m not quite sure why, I’m not quite sure how and I’m not quite sure if it happens to other people too!

What does this have to do with today’s cake? Well the first thing I think about when I see embroidery is that bag and that spider. Which is unfortunate because I don’t happen to love huntsman spiders but I do like this cake effect. It’s a floral effect that is certainly doing the rounds on the internet and whilst it looks awfully complicated I was told in no uncertain terms that it was easy.

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Today Dear Readers is the tale of a disaster. No, not this past weekend’s supposed Rapture that never was but The Bienenstich cake disaster to be specific. Oh I had all sorts of mighty plans of conquering the world with this or just bringing this to someone’s birthday (who shall remain nameless because I don’t want them to ask me where their cake was). But fate decided that it was not to be.

A former boss had once commended my cool under pressure during a meeting to one of my assistants. She likened me to a swan peddling furiously under water while staying calm on the surface. Whilst this was nice, this was not my usual modus operandi. If I am in crisis I let people know! I am not the graceful swan but that clucking chicken running around.  And this is one of those instances.

Beinenstich or bee sting cake is a German cake that I first encountered in the Barossa Valley of South Australia. Smitten with this gorgeous soft briochey type of bread filled with custard and topped with buttery sugared almonds I knew it was only a matter of time before I tried to duplicate it at home. Little did I anticipate that it would all turn to custard-literally.

The custard in the centre is a gorgeously sweet and thick concoction. In fact from looking at the ingredients, you pretty much have the same custard as the stuff that fills those amazing Portuguese custard tarts. All I had to do was whip a little butter and then whip the custard and whipped butter together and I would have the custard buttercream of my dreams. Or so I thought.

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Mr NQN and I were shopping the other day. Well more correctly I was dragging him along to the shops and he was dragging his heels. He is usually fine as long as there’s a comfortable place for him to sit and an internet connection but there wasn’t in this case. I told him that if I had my own shop I would make sure that the bored menfolk would have their very own lounge and internet connection so that we could shop in peace. There would be a buzzer system where we could summon them to the changeroom for their opinion when needed.

“So, what would you call your shop?” he asked me.

“Hmmm….something about owls. The name Hooters is obviously out” I quickly added.

“And what would you sell?”

I started to get excited “Well I’m glad that you asked because I’ve thought about it! Of course I’d put some taxidermied owls in the window or other forest creatures. Or if I could I could have real owls but perhaps the local council wouldn’t like that unless they were Harry Potter fans. I’d sell things that I find interesting…like that.”

I pointed at a window. We were in the Blue Mountains over Easter and we had stopped in front of a shop with a window full of waving Queen Elizabeth II statuettes. The figurines were solar powered and upon closer inspection the solar panel sat on top of her handbag. It was fabulous and I knew just who I would buy it for. And before I would give it to them she would figure in my Queen Elizabeth II pudding recipe photo.

Peter Morgan-Jones

Yes this pudding recipe is Queen Elizabeth II’s very own recipe. And how did I get a hold of it? Well I was lucky enough to meet chef Peter Morgan-Jones who worked for Buckingham Palace a few years ago. I was at a lunch hosted by the Trippas White group who cater for the Art Gallery Restaurant, the Botanic Gardens restaurant and 360 Bar & Dining among several others. Peter is the group executive chef across all of the restaurants. He is a quietly spoken, lovely man and when the talk turned to the upcoming royal wedding, he mentioned that he used to work at Buckingham Palace and that he had the Queen’s Christmas Pudding recipe. Excitedly I asked him if he could share it and he told me that he could! Fascinated I read through the recipe. There was no month long steeping of fruit but there was stout, suet and grated carrot and apple.

Peter Morgan-Jones in a palace kitchen on the right

I must admit that I find the whole concept of royalty fascinating. And while I’m not vehemently pro or against I put them in the same category as celebrities. If I like what they say or do I like them but if they don’t then I don’t like them and I don’t take take a general stance on them. But I am absolutely fascinated in taking a peek into their world. What do they eat? Are they like the rest of us? And it seems I had met someone that could tell me all about them from a food perspective which is just what I was interested in!

Peter was a royal caterer for five years and he spent time working at Buckingham Palace , Windsor castle , Highgrove & Kensington Palace (for Charles and Diana), Clarence house (for the Queen mum) and Gatcombe park (Princess Anne). He also ran the Buckingham palace garden parties which were affairs with 8,000 guests and “We used to make 16,000 sandwiches and serve 10,000 cups of tea.” And what were each of their tastes like?

The Buckingham Palace kitchen-note the stag!

Well according to Peter, Charles eats organic fare from his estate at Highgrove. He didn’t eat red meat but occasionally would eat poultry and fish and Princess Diana would eat the same. The Queen and Queen Mum both loved traditional fare e.g. roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. For breakfast she would eat wholemeal toast (dry, from what he saw) and porridge. Her husband the Duke of Edinburgh (Prince Philip) was partial to game with Peter cooking at many pheasant shoots on their shooting estate in Tetbury, Gloucestershire. Peter would also cook for Prince Charles when he would entertain at Highgrove. Charles would host barbecues for all his farming land renters (Duchy of Cornwall) which would feature beef burgers, sausages , lamb brochettes , salmon kebabs, salads  and bread. See, they’re just like us! Well not really

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