I am pretty sure that the pharmacy near Mr NQN’s work knows me by now. I am the woman who rings up frantic at around 5pm and asks for 10 bottles of her favourite produce to be put aside to be picked up by her husband after work. One afternoon’s request was a little odd.

“Hello, could you please put aside a packet of fake nails and some denture glue for me? My husband will come and pick it up tonight.” I say breathlessly.

“Sure what brand of nails and denture glue would you like ma’am?” the polite man at the other end of the phone asks.

“Any kind! I don’t know!” I reply flummoxed at the question. I hesitate before answering “they’re umm… to make vampire fangs…”

“Ahh I see…” Well the pharmacist does work on Oxford Street so I’m sure people have done this before

I had been planning this True Blood dinner party for months. The timing was of course to coincide with the end of the current season of True Blood, a show that I had become wholly and completely besotted with. Mr NQN was outnumbered that evening by giggling ladies because of course the show has the best looking male cast on television i.e. a family assorted packet of man biscuits with a guy for every taste. Mr NQN of course still refers to it as “that zombie show” but I could not be deterred in my love for it. The idea for the dinner was inspired by season three’s dinner party which involved three courses of blood:

First course: “Chilled carbonated blood. Cruelty free, all willingly donated. Note the citrusy finish? This one ate only tangerines for weeks.”
Second course: “Carlo bring me that Thai boy.”
Third course: “Warm blood bisque infused with rose petals.”
Dessert: Blood Gelato

Of course the idea of serving up blood to my dear friends wasn’t going to happen. I mean they put up with a lot, the photo taking, the traipsing off to far flung restaurants in the name of a meal but serving blood to them might stretch the friendship so I decided to do a blood themed dinner party instead. Invited were my True Blood loving friends because of course we would be watching episodes of the show afterwards.

Although I do like kitsch I wanted it to be an elegant dinner party because of course vampires have a lot of money as they can glamour people into giving them their worldly goods. We used some stunning Waterford crystal in blood red and a John Rocha black cut centrepiece filled with red fruit and vegetables to carry through the bloody red theme. Just because I thought that Bill as the King of Louisiana might have these in his house.

So there were nibblies in the form of caviar topped blinis, a bloody red spicy tomato soup, a symbolic oxtail and beetroot pie with an equally symbolic black savourine salad. Plus dessert of course, in fact two, with a pre dessert of raspberry sorbet and a molten blood chocolate cake served with raspberry ripple ice cream.

I did have a bit of a True Blood encounter myself, not so much of the vampiric kind but of the Jason Stackhouse kind. Ryan Kwanten is in Sydney shooting his latest film “Not Suitable For Children” written by Australian writer Michael Lucas and one day I found myself within breathing and touching distance of him. I did breathe but I did not touch him (although I wanted to, not in an inappropriate way, well kind of…). Of course I wanted to invite him to this party but I refrained from embarrassing myself and getting a certain rejection and instead chose to admire his divineness from where I was standing. And I was a little too scattered and excited to ask for a photo (silly me!).

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Sometimes you need your friends or partners to point out when you are doing something strange. Something that you’ve been doing for most of your adult life and thought was perfectly normal. This occured when Queen Viv and Miss America were in the car with Mr NQN and I. He was driving and I was in charge of the radio as it was a new car for us and we hadn’t brought our music with us.

Frustrated I was switching stations endlessly until I would settle on one that was playing a song that I liked.

“Aha! Here’s one!” I’d say and then when the song was over I’d be off searching for a new song.

“What are you doing?” Miss America asked.

“I’m trying to find a song that I know” I answered pushing the same buttons over and over again.

“You just want to listen to songs that you’ve heard before?” he asked sceptically.

“Well…yes pretty much” I responded weakly

“How curious” Queen Viv said.

Mr NQN piped in “She sometimes plays the same song 10 times over.”

“You’re mental. That is not normal.” said Miss America bluntly.

I plead guilty. On both counts. Of only wanting to hear some familiar to me and also of not knowing that that was not normal.  Several years ago we were at Miss America’s apartment and he put on some songs from the 50s and 60s and he and Queen Viv reminisced. As they grew up in that era they were rhapsodic over these songs and became lost in memories. I do the same with the music I listen to. For me, it’s the chance to quickly go back to a more innocent time before mortgages, jobs and paying bills.

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