I’m a  chip fanatic from way back. The idea of a perfect lunch for me as a kid was a chip sandwich, made with crinkle cut chicken chips. Forget fancy Kettle or Red Rock chips, we didn’t have those growing up. Nor do I remember Thins, which I’ve never really gone for (they’re just too… thin?). Crinkle Cut Chicken chips were my weapons of choice. And because my mother rationed me on chips, pouring a small amount out of a large bag I’d eat them crinkle by crinkle slowly until every last piece was gone. And you can bet that as a kid I ran my finger along the bottom of the bowl to catch any stray flavour flakes.

I still love crinkle cut chips but more recently I like the thickness or Kettle or Red Rock deli chips. They’re said to be just like home made so when I was munching a packet of salt and vinegar chips (not my favourite flavour but I was hungry) I wondered why hadn’t someone made Salt and Pepper flavoured chips? There’s Salt and Pepper Squid and Salt and Pepper Tofu and they’re both delicious. How about some Salt and Pepper potato chips?

I took out my V slicer and sliced them on the second setting – I don’t like my chips too thin as they aren’t as earth shatteringly crunchy, and drizzled a couple of tablespoons of oil on top and then baked them. After baking them, I sprinkled the salt and pepper mixture on top and tasted them. They were wonderful indeed and very Kettle Chip/Red Rock like too. And somehow I felt more virtuous that these were baked rather than deep fried. And yes I did put these in a sandwich-white bread with butter which is the only way really to eat these in a sandwich.

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How much do I love thee reader? A lot apparently, making 3 batches of fudge, in order to find a good, reliable recipe that anyone, anytime could produce. After writing about the delicious Crème Brûlée fudge we had in Arrowtown, New Zealand, I had readers asking for a recipe and I was also curious to have some for myself. What I didn’t realise is that the sugary stuff is more temperamental than a macaron. I think I’m a moderately skilled cook but when my first two batches failed I started to get despondent, then angry. I’m sure that alongside 7 stages of grief, there are 7 stages to fudge failure and I can really understand why the word “Fudge!!” is uttered as an expletive to some. Apparently, the weather can affect fudge making and canny experienced fudge makers will not bother to make it if the weather is humid or rainy. And even then there’s no guarantee that it will work. And I am living proof. I even bought myself a sugar thermometer to aid me in my pursuit of Creme Brulee fudge.

“Patience dear” is an oft repeated phrase around me. I am the most impatient person that I know. For me, it has to happen right now, then then and right there. I often have the Veruca Salt song “I Want It Now” ringing in my ears. One thing that forces patience on me is fudge making. Waiting until all of the sugar has dissolved on a low heat to stirring it constantly instead of running off to check your computer, the waiting for the soft ball stage to materialise-all things that requires a measure of patience that I don’t seem to have.

1st lot, delicious but unset

Like Goldilocks (or should I call myself Ravenlocks?), my first batch wasn’t right. With orders to test for soft ball using iced water (which I did, much like when I did it for the marshmallow) and orders to beat it straight away from Nigella the whole thing turned out grainy due to the partial crystallisation of the sugar when I stirred it during the crucial cooling process and it didn’t set properly due to the humid weather although I have to admit, flavour-wise, it tasted great.

My second lot once I bought the sugar thermometer was creamier, due to waiting for the temperature to drop to 40C which took 1.5 hours. It also didn’t set. And I know people will say that it’s because I didn’t reach the soft ball stage but I disagree, I did as I watched the thermometer like a hawk. This fudge however was gorgeously creamy and ungrainy so had it set, it would have been perfection.

Gathering myself together I came across a food proof, weather proof and method proof recipe for fudge which involved using marshmallows. It’s easier and quicker and miraculously set pretty much straight away, Even better was that it had a gorgeous creaminess. Flavour-wise I do think I preferred the first two but only by a small amount. The relative ease and reliability of this recipe means that it’s the winner for me.

I’ve also given you the recipe for the other two fudges should you wish to try them. Perhaps given the right weather where you are and a certain planetary alignment and your astrological moon in the correct position, it may set for you (just consider yourself warned ). In any case, bruleeing the stuff is easy, in fact I don’t know why it isn’t done more often. Just sprinkle with a little sugar (fudge contains enough of the stuff anyway so only a bit is needed) and blowtorch to you heart’s content, being careful not to set the paper or oiled foil on fire. It’s not exactly like the Remarkable Sweet Shop stuff in Arrowtown, New Zealand but it’s fabulously good and will win friends and influence people.

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Now stay with me, I know half of your turned off your lights when you saw the addition of anchovies. But believe me when I say that this particular recipe is not strongly fishy. In fact the anchovies provide the salt and the caramelised onion provide the sweet. Onions are one of those vegetables that I dislike in the raw format but adore in the cooked format.

The onion take quite a while to caramelise, about an hour in fact, but you don’t have to stand over them stirring. For the first 5 minutes you might want to push them around the saucepan just to make sure that all of the slices get enough heat and butter but for the next 30 minutes after that you can pretty much leave it alone and get away with stirring it two or three times. That doesn’t mean that I’d recommend you leave and do the shopping, I wouldn’t go that far, although a spot of online shopping is most definitely recommended and isn’t that why god invented online shopping?

For some reason whenever I make this in Summer, I need to ensure that the windows are all closed. Flies love the sweet smell of caramelising onions.The caramelised onions can be made ahead of time and stored in an airtight container for 2-3 days so all you need to do before you have guests coming over is to assemble it which takes about 10 minutes and can be done while the oven is preheating.

The taste of the Pissaladière is certainly something delicious and a force to be reckoned with. Even those who normally shun onions, olives and anchovies find themselves ditching their prejudices with every delicious, crunchy bite.

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