Not Quite NigellaRecipes for Pies & Tarts @

Cherry, Cranberry & Almond Christmas Wreath Galette

Not Quite Nigella — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 18:00:50 +0000

“Honey! Honeeeey!!!” I said waking Mr NQN shaking his arm urgently. “Mmmppffhhh” he muttered still half asleep. I climbed on top of him so that he could sense the urgency. “Honey, we need a ransom question, you know, just in case one of us is kidnapped!” “Whaaat? Who was kidnapped?” he said slightly more awake [...]

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Springtime Asparagus & Prosciutto Tart

Not Quite Nigella — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:00:07 +0000

Mr NQN came home from the neurosurgeon one day, plopped down on the couch dramatically and turned to me. “Guess what the doctor said?” he asked. “What’s wrong?” I prepared myself for the worst. “The doctor said that I have to go kitesurfing to get rid of my headache!” he said grinning broadly every tooth [...]

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Classic Tarte Tatin

Not Quite Nigella — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 19:00:11 +0000

A friend, whom I won’t disclose for fear of embarrassing her, once told me that she didn’t understand why men left her. She said to me one evening “I cook for them, I clean for them. They get a nice meal, what more could a man ask for?” “”Ahem. Hmmm…” I immediately thought of one thing. “That [...]

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Simple No Bake Snickers Pie

Not Quite Nigella — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:00:09 +0000

When we were little my parents rarely gave us dessert. Dessert was a piece of fruit or nothing and I recall keeping Christmas or birthday sweets for months afterwards hanging them up in a big up at the end of my bed and taking one piece out very occasionally and savouring its taste and feeling [...]

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Cheeseburger Pie

Not Quite Nigella — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 19:00:24 +0000

And no I haven’t been drinking… My phone rang the other morning. A friendly male voice on the other end introduced himself ”Hello, I’m (I missed his name) from the <insert name of scary government agency>”. I was a bit cloudy headed so it didn’t quite click. “The what? What is that?” I asked semi [...]

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Turducken: The Method To Some Sort of Madness

Not Quite Nigella — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:00:04 +0000

It is sitting in front of me face down, haunches up, goading me. I pry the legs apart but they modestly snap back together. It is a beautiful specimen and I hold up a knife to the goose fleshed skin and it retracts and follows the sharp blade. “Aren’t you a pretty one?” I say [...]

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The Mad Mock Apple Pie Made From Ritz Crackers. Yes, Really!

Not Quite Nigella — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 19:00:24 +0000

Mr NQN and I were sitting down and having dinner with my parents when he casually mentioned that he was thinking of doing the half marathon. We all stared at him and put our cutlery down. Swallowing hard we all asked in unison “Why?” If there was any doubt I was their child it was all [...]

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Serpent’s Coil Pastry With Spinach & Feta

Not Quite Nigella — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 18:00:57 +0000

Girl meets pastry. Girl eats pastry. Girl gets on treadmill. This is the story of my life currently. Yes Dear Readers, I have finally got myself a treadmill (I was gifted a dormant one from my parent’s house). I realised that sitting at home eating pastries was not the best way to stay in the [...]

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Fruit Of The Forest Tart

Not Quite Nigella — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 18:00:07 +0000

For the last few months, while I was writing the book, I gave up ironing. It wasn’t much of a change, I was hopeless at it and if it were a paid job, I’m sure I would have been fired. Mr NQN being a modern man whose mother never owned an iron or an ironing [...]

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Beetroot and Walnut Tarte Tatin for Two

Not Quite Nigella — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 18:00:43 +0000

We were talking about Golden Books the other day. I got to reminiscing about my favourite ones and I recall my very favourite ever Golden Book was one called Elephant on Wheels. It was about an elephant who loved to roller skate. I loved it because I was forever being told not to do something by my parents. I [...]

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