One night on twitter I wrote the following sentence “I need a tshirt that reads: ‘I survived an Elliott family dinner’”

It was a simple enough request. Find a restaurant for Mr NQN and his brother for their joint birthday. Make it vegetarian/vegan friendly. “Oh and I don’t want to pay over $15 a person” the Assman said. Hmmm even fast food restaurants are about that much nowadays so having to ignore the last request I found Vina, a Vietnamese vegetarian restaurant in Newtown that specialised in vegetarian dishes. We have about 8-10 of these family birthdays a year and they usually start and end in drama, confusion, endless repeated questions, more drama and hysteria. And that’s mostly from Mr NQN’s parents!

We arrive at Vina and it’s a very casual looking restaurant. There’s a display of food just past the door and some painted bamboo and butterflies on the wall. There are two waitstaff and we’ve taken up the large table in the centre. Some of the Elliotts are late but then the food starts coming out. Then others that had RSVPd only that morning and who had turned up half an hour late needed to order. Mr NQN leaned over and whispered to me “You can see how we never ate out right?”

Steamed mock BBQ buns (2) $4.50

The steamed mock BBQ pork buns actually do a very good job of simulating real meat with a sweet Chinese barbecue sauce in the small, fluffy buns.

Steamed curry bun (2) $4.50

The curry buns are stuffed with a sweet vegetable curry with a sesame seed studded pastry and although nice enough, I prefer the bbq pork buns.

Fried Spring rolls $6.00

After everyone saw Sam’s order for the crunchy spring rolls, several more orders were put in for them. They were long, crunchy and packed with a flavoursome filling. They were served with the cabbage, pickles and fresh mint salad although I enjoyed these on their own with the nuoc cham dipping sauce.

Crispy mock fish nuggets (10) $6

We were curious to see what these were like. They came out as 10 pieces of crumbed squares and I take one and dip it into the viscous sauce. It’s actually not too bad at all, quite good really and with somewhat of a fish type of texture as distinct from the other mock meats. And well you know how they say that nuggets aren’t made from real meat here there is no doubt about that!

Savoury Vina Pancake $14

We always adore the Vietnamese pancakes which apart from having prawns and pork are filled with mung beans and fresh salad. It’s crunchy although not quite as crunchy as I’ve had it at other places. However the fresh, crunchy salad redolent with mint hits the spot.

Fresh rolls (3) $6.00

I didn’t try these as there was a bit of a kerfuffle down the other end of the table with people saying that they hadn’t had enough food and there was a small but explosive hissy fit from a couple of people at the other end (one was in fact a parent). Let’s move on shall we?

Mock beef noodle soup $12

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What’s in a name? When Queen Viv and I drove past Butch Foods one afternoon we were taken by the look , a homespun inviting look but also a name. As someone that was really supposed to be called Selina but never was (and I think it suits me better) I know what a name can do to you. So  earmarked for a visit in my notepad I noted the first of that day’s good omens: a miracle park outside (1 hour yes but because we were sitting in the window I could lookout for parking inspectors) .

Belgian hot chocolate $4.50

Formerly a family run takeaway business for 20 years the building was built around 1886 and was infested with termites which necessitated a gutting and rebuilding using sustainable and recycled materials and equipment. The service is friendly from the young guy behind the counter who is very sweet and enthusiastic. We order a “hot chocolate with sticky marshmallows” (just regular marshmallows, I thought Sticky was a new brand!). And a chai latte which is so spiced Queen Viv’s eyebrows shoot up and her eyes pop. The hot chocolate is good although it tastes more of cocoa than chocolate. It comes in a sizable mug and try as I might I can’t finish it.

Clayton’s Jaffles $4.50

I’m delighted to see a jaffle on the  menu as a homespun touch.  They’re not made in those nifty jaffle makers that seal the ends rather it is done more as a toasted sandwich in a sandwich press. And although we ordered a ham and cheese one a cheese and tomato one arrives. Nevertheless it is quite good and with just the right amount of butter, enough to give it flavour but not enough to grease the fingers.

Pork and beans pie $7

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It was a day smack bang in the middle of Winter. I was at home working and watching the temperature like a hawk and by midday it hadn’t climbed over 11.1°C/52°F. Then by that afternoon it flicked over to show 12°C/53.6°F. I let out a “Yaaay!” before realising how ludicrous it sounded. Getting excited over a mere 12°C degrees? Welcome to Winter.

I was just thankful because Mr NQN and I were seeing my two fabulous friends Queen Viv and Miss America that evening and we were going to a place most appropriate for the weather. Our destination was Smash Sausage Kitchen, a place that specialises in delicious sausages and mash with gravy among many other comforting foods. Originally a tip from tweeter @sarcasmcupcakes I was intrigued by the mix and match sausage concept.

We walk in and there’s banquette seating to the right and regular table seating on the left. A pop art collage takes up prime position on one wall with cartoon characters (superhero “Smash Man” it seems), Elizabeth Taylor and other sultry movie stars and starlets. A gigantic luminous picture of Marilyn Monroe sits on another wall. Cute mismatched chairs and colourful cushions are for sitting on and against and the waitress has a silver skeleton necklace to die for. And did I mention it’s warm too. We settle right in.

The menu has starters and hearty mains but there is also a mix and match section where you can order from one of nine varieties of sausage including one vegetarian one, several kinds of mash and four types of gravy and you can choose from either two or three sausages with your mash and gravy. We pick and choose and our original plans to have three different types are foiled. Apparently you used to be able to have different varieties of sausage but now you can only choose the one type. My face falls, we’re all of the sharing to try as much as possible variety so the waitress suggests that we try the sausage tasting plate whose selection changes daily.

Complimentary sweet potato and parsnip crisps

Each table is given a plentiful bowl of sweet potato and parsnip crisps, shaved thinly and every curly tendril or piece well salted.

Chunky fish fingers with lemon aioli $15

I love real fish fingers (and admittedly the frozen supermarket ones do hold a certain kitsch value although they always taste a tad watery). These come out first, four to a serve, all crunchy golden with proper fish inside. Along with it comes an excellent aioli and a wedge of lemon to accompany them.

Grilled sausage tasting plate with chutney $15

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