After a recent visit to Carne station in Parramatta, we were driving back home and passed Hooters, to which we immediately screeched with laughter. Once our laughter subsided we realised that we just had to come out for a visit. More for morbid curiosity than anything else. Hooters is an American phenomenon that hasn’t quite made an impact here with just the two locations in Sydney and one in Queensland. We wanted to know whether the “image” of Hooters was anything like reality. Would it be like a down, down home version of the Playboy mansion much like the show Blokesworld? I haven’t known a single person that has visited, due to its location being rather far away and the reputation being that of a busty, bawdy, blokefest.

We needed to convince my food adventure friends Queen Viv and Miss America that this was indeed, something we should do in the name of research. Miss America was more than amenable, she even threatened to bring along her own inflatable swimming pool and lime jelly. Getting the regal Queen Viv to agree was another thing. We asked if she was busy and that we were thinking of having another food adventure out to a place that has a certain charm. Once we had ascertained that she was free, we told her that it was called “Oouteurs” suggesting that it was a chic little French bistro. I gave the game away as I couldn’t keep a straight face and Queen Viv was a good sport and thought that there was some merit to our morbid curiosity. We thought that it would be an interesting thing to see who would go there on Valentines Day and my husband, relieved of Valentines Day cooking duties, agreed. I didn’t mind giving up Valentines Day. After all, our wedding anniversary is only a few weeks later and we have planned something big for it.

I wanted to dress up as a prim and proper Victorian lady with high Victorian collar and lace parasol and ask in a haughty voice “Where are the OWLS?” but my husband, Miss America and Queen Viv said that I would be the only one

Ringing ahead to book I was told that it was indeed “singles night” where they match up a girl and a guy to go off and have dinner together. Half of the restaurant was booked up for this event with places running out but the other half was walk in traffic.

At 7.30pm on Valentines Day, we arrived after fighting some insanely awful traffic. Miss America and Queen Viv have just arrived too and are looking a little distressed. “Its very LOUD music in there!” Queen Viv exclaims and we walk in to an aural assault. They have our booking and we’re led to a high table with menus on the side, a caddy of squeezy bottles of tomato sauce, BBQ sauce and American mustard and something that makes us laugh, a paper towel dispenser, with the last towel decorously folded over modestly.

The room itself is decorated in a lot of warm, solid woods and TV screens featuring all manner of sports, I guess appealing to men and music loud enough to have to do away with conversation which, presumably also appeals to men. Signs are everywhere cracking the usual blonde and boob jokes and the waitresses are outfitted in tiny nylon orange shorts, white Hooters singlets, thick white socks and sneakers, not to mention the industrial strength shiny pantyhose that could probably withstand a jet blast and survive intact. The back of the singlet says “Delightfully tacky. Yet unrefined” which sums up the experience really. The outfits are like 1985 came and stayed and any minute we expect Jamie Lee Curtis from Perfect to walk in wearing her green aerobics outfit.

Our waitress is Emma, we know this because, in American style she tells us her name and that she’ll be our waitress for the night and to further emphasise her point or perhaps stake the table, she writes down her name on a napkin. She’s friendly, smiley and could give some waiters a lesson in service. We girls are given a free drink for the night, a cocktail of cranberry juice and Malibu-its not bad but coconut and cranberry juice aren’t natural partners but who am I to complain when I’m getting it free just for being a girl? Beers are a little on the expensive side, at $5 for a beer on tap and $6.50 for a Crown Lager.

As promised singles night is in full swing with large tables of people sitting around chatting, denoted by the orange and white balloons. Looking around the room we see plenty of couples having a Valentines Day dinner-on the menu there is the Hooters Gourmet Dinner that has perhaps lured them. For $109.95 you get 20 buffalo wings served along with a bottle of Moet Chandon champagne. As the menu says “Its as much as class as you need!”. Unfortunately we don’t see a lot of bottles of Moet being drunk or champagne corks being popped. There are also families and plenty of young singles that aren’t actually taking part in the singles event. In fact there are a lot more men than women so I am not sure where this reported “man shortage” comes from. Perhaps Hooter’s is an exclusionary zone.

But for me, as always, the food is what beckons me. I had a look at the menu online earlier in the day and for once, its actually current. We order food to share and extra plates. When they bring out the moist towelettes, we realise that we’re firmly in deep fried territory.

Medium heat chicken wings 10 for $10.50

The chicken wings are the first to arrive (10 wings for $10.50). Juicy, crispy and battered they’re very tender and although we’ve ordered medium, there’s not a trace of chili or spice to be had. Perhaps we needed to go to the “real hot 3mile island” or the “screamin’ hot 911″ heat levels. From what we’ve been told, from a friend of a friend, this is pretty close to American style wings. The leg portions are much juicier than the wing portions and I happily munch on these.

The Buffalo platter is next ($19.50), a tray of deep fried calorific goodness on a green lettuce and salad base with carrot and celery sticks just so you feel like you are getting your vegetables. We had a choice of ranch or blue cheese dressing and we chose the ranch which is creamy and tangy. On the Buffalo platter are chicken strips, buffalo shrimp and more chicken wings. The chicken strips are very tender and juicy and Queen Viv’s favourite but the Buffalo shrimp are an awful disappointment. These shrimp have seen better swims and taste completely dry and flavourless.

The Delta Cobb salad ($15.50) is the next to arrive and its comparatively small but good, with cos lettuce, bacon, egg, cheese, tomato and topped with what else but fried chicken strips! Its indeed very tasty, if not exactly healthy but its crisp and textural enough to keep us happy and feel like we’re not eating one giant deep fried buffet.

Our fish and chips ($14.90) consists of two enormous pieces of fish (one resembling a swimming fish), fat traditional cut chips and side salad. The fish is freshly cooked and juicy although the fish itself is very flakey and appears almost minced in parts so we presume it to be shark like most fish and chips. We’re not under any delusions, its not an upmarket restaurant and unlikely to be another type of fish.

Doing the…

We’re finishing up our meals and unfurling our miniature sized moist towelettes when there’s some action happening mid floor. Its 9 o clock and time for the … Hooters girls to dance the Nutbush? There are 5 in total dancing together and after the Nutbush they get up on chairs and the booths and dance some more. Its a little surreal, compounded by the fact that they look a bit embarrassed and bored during. As Queen Viv points out, its very reminiscent of the jumping stripper dance from My Name is Earl.

Single girls

Single guys

But let’s not forget Singles night. Its time for the single girls to get up and tell us what they’re looking for in a man and then its the single men’s turn to describe what they consider to be their “perfect date night”. Although its hard to hear most answers, we do hear one gem from a guy that answers that his perfect date would be: “KFC, DVD, Hooters and then rooters”. Well ladies, you know where to find him. Form one orderly queue please…

Hooters

132 James Ruse Drive (Cnr Hassall St) Parramatta
Tel: +61 (02) 9633-5160

3-7 The Kingsway 2230 Cronulla
Tel: +61 (02) 9929-7255

Also located at

Hooters Mermaid Beach
2488 Gold Coast Highway Mermaid Beach QLD
Tel: +61 (07) 5572 4100

General enquiries 1300 466 291 or 1300 HOOTERS
http://hooters-oz.com/
Hooter’s blog! http://blog.hooters-oz.com/
Open 7 days, Midday until late

The key with going for a successful food adventure is going with people that truly love food. Our friends Queen Viv and Miss America are always willing to go that extra mile for that extra special meal which is a sentiment I always appreciate as I am the same. So despite the fact that Miss A. has been up for over 25 hours straight and she is still willing to go out for dessert after our carnivorous fest at Carne Station proves what a strong constitution and resolve she has. Just what a beauty queen needs really.

Turkish Oud

So its late in the evening when we drive up to Auburn and revisit a place we’ve been to several times before lured by Grab Your Fork and known for their fabulous Dondurma (salep enriched stretchy Turkish ice cream), Mado cafe. Service is a unsure and wary, as if we’ve fallen outside of a spaceship and our questions are answered with a confused “I don’t know”. Its a pity the service is so neglectful as the desserts are divine.

Dondurma (Turkish stretchy ice cream) churning

We know what we want, what we’ve had before and loved, the ice cream (including a must have black mulberry) so we choose the Cup Maras which is an ice cream sundae with scoops of black mulberry, pistachio, sour cherry and maras (white) with fruit salad and sour cherry sauce ($9.50) and the Kazandibi ($5.50) a “cauldron bottom” charred pudding thickened with salep from the orchid root. To quench our thirst we order a Turkish sour cherry drink ($3), Gazoz a Turkish lemonade ($2.50) and Turkish mineral water ($2.50).

From left to right: Gazoz a Turkish lemonade ($2.50), Turkish sour cherry drink ($3), and Turkish mineral water ($2.50)

Our drinks arrive along with our sundae and pudding. The Turkish mineral water tastes like regular mineral water, refreshing and with hard large bubbles, not softly carbonated. The sour cherry drink, always a favourite (we downed about 20 bottles of this last time) is gorgeously fruity and the Turkish lemonade has a fruity flavour to it, almost like creaming soda.

Cup Maras sundae $9.50 Four flavours of ice cream with fruit salad and sour cherry sauce

We dig into our mermaid decorated sundae and I start with my favourite, the black mulberry. Its sweet and with a slight berry tang to it but so heady in berries, its like burying your face in a field of the sweetest berries. The pistachio is lovely too, although not particularly pisctacho-ey with just a faint echo of it. The sour cherry ice cream looks to be replaced by the mango which is nice enough but we know that the sour cherry would have been nicer-I wish they had told us that it was not available. The maras is a mild, plain flavour, more like a milk flavour. The fruit salad is fairly small consisting of a few grapes and tiny cubes of melon but the thick sour cherry topping is gorgeous and I want it by the jar to drizzle over ice cream at home.

Kazandibi $5.50

The Kazandibi, always a favourite of ours, is gloriously stretchy and sweet with a liberal touch of cinnamon. Its hard to describe as there’s nothing quite like it, its similar to a super stretchy rice pudding without the grains of rice.

I contemplate buying the black mulberry by the tub but alas with the night so warm and the journey home so long I know that it will be melted (or eaten) long before we reach our driveway…

Mado Cafe

63 Auburn Road, Auburn Sydney
Ph: +61 (02) 9643-5299
Monday-Friday 8am-midnight, Saturday-Sunday 10am-midnight
Payment accepted: MasterCard, Visa, Diners Club and American Express
Vegetarian options

Also locations in Brisbane and Melbourne

Taking a trip to Dulwich Hill to purchase some sausages from Eumundi Smokehouse a while back, I figured I may as well make the most out of the trip. Fernandes Patisserie is an oft raved about little patisserie that sits on the Dulwich Hill side of Marrickville road, a street spoiled for food choices. I had been told that the cakes are delicious and the prices dangerously reasonable.

There are no signs explaining what the cakes are or the prices but the young woman behind the counter is helpful in explaining what each of them are. Alas they sold out of their Portuguese custard tarts at 1pm so we aren’t able to try those. I select four unusual looking cakes and she helpfully writes out the description for me. I pay a princely sum of $6.50 for all of them (don’t you just love those prices) and scamper off with my box of cakes. They’re luscious looking beauties and I lament the fact that I have to wait until after dinner to try them as the sweet smell is indeed alluring.

After dinner we rush home to try them. The horseshoe double sponge with custard is tried first. Its wonderfully soft and coconutty with a sponge bread cake on the bottom but a sticky egg custard glaze on top. Its soft and melts in the mouth, reminiscent of those Chinatown soft coconutty cocktail buns. This is Blythe’s favourite and she appropriates the rest for later consumption.

The long triangular slice is next, its a generous serve of sweet pumpkin and almond meal slice which is beautifully moist and topped with a crunchy meringue type topping dusted with icing sugar. I adore this one, it reminds me of those middle eastern orange cakes which is moist and heavy and moreish.

The chocolate pyramid is next, its soft, moist and rich, like a moist rum ball filling without the rum with perhaps a touch of raspberry in it. Very good and every little morsel of this goes down a treat.

The last but not least is the Sweet potato biscuit, also soft and moist, it has a distinct orange rind/ marmaladey flavour to it which is a wonderful accent to the mild sweet potato.

Sigh, they were delicious, we will be back. For these and more sausages of course.

P.S. It might be advisable to ring ahead if you’re making a special trip there as they are sometimes closed for holidays

Fernandes Patisserie

516 Marrickville Road, Marrickville.
Tel: 9568 2114.
Open Mon-Fri 7.30am-8pm, Sat 8am-4pm, Sun 8am-1pm.

Don’t you just hate it when you’ve been looking forward to a meal all day and counted down the hours and minutes until you leave only to find that when you get to the restaurant the lusted after meal is not offered? Needless to say that I do. My husband and I, although not really regulars at Corelli’s (we live a bit too far away) have visited many, many times. And every time I order the dinner special, for $16 or $16.90 you get the dish of the day (whatever they have is always good) and it always comes with dessert of your choice although its never a choice for me. I always order the crumble: my number 1 favourite crumble in the world with vanilla ice cream.

So when we arrive at 7.30pm one night I look to the blackboard eagerly to see what is on offer. I had psyched myself up to have anything, even pasta which I don’t usually eat. There’s nothing but a lunch special. Apparently there is no dinner special on tonight. I am crushed. I look at the well worn menu and choose my “backup” meal, the grilled barramundi (with lemon butter on the side), mash and steamed vegetables. I need not ask what my husband will have, he is fierrcely loyal to the tofu burger and nothing will stand between him and the burger.

Grabbing some magazines, we sit down in wait for our meals that never come out in a hurry, for you see they are prepared to order in a small kitchen with a multitude of different components and on huge plates. To kill time I perve on the homemade cakes in the display noting that there’s plenty of my favourite crumble left with lots of topping.

Grilled Barramundi with mash and steamed vegetables (lemon butter sauce on the side) $16.50

Its quiet tonight and so its not too long before our meals arrive. My barramundi is a large piece of grilled fish over a huge mound of mashed potato and steamed carrots, beans and broccoli. Sometimes they give you two pieces of fish and it covers practically the whole plate. As always its good, although as I am ambivalent about the lemon butter sauce (sometimes its too lemoney although tonight its very buttery), I ask for it to arrive in a small side dish. The mash is good, not particularly smooth but reassuringly full of real potato (I’d personally like to ban instant mashed potato) and the steamed vegetables perfectly cooked. Try as I might however, I cannot finish it.

Tofu burger with salad $9.50

I take a bite of my husband’s tofu burger. Its a thick tofu patty fried in curry spices with fried onion and satay sauce on top sandwiched between lightly toasted Turkish bread with a fabulous salad on the side. The salads are particularly good here with at least 5 different types of vegetables in them and always with a delicious dressing and tonight is no exception. I steal some of my husband’s salad while he is taking photos.

Greek Almond Shortbread $2.60

I am fighting with all my might not to order the apple, rhubarb and berry crumble (served warm with ice cream) but alas you see there is no room in the inn (i.e my stomach). I would have ordered some to take away but we’re seeing a movie at the Dendy shortly and its not a particularly practical dessert to transport. So I ignore my inner whine and settle for smaller, less stomach-filling sweets; the Greek Almond shortbread (always a favourite since I was small) and a caramel shortbread. The Almond shortbread is blanketed in icing sugar snow and although it is marked with some moisture on top, it is as good as I remember them to be, a powdery, sweet, nutty biscuit. The caramel shortbread is lamentably small (we should’ve ordered the large one) and gone within two bites in a sweet thick caramel centered biscuit haze.

Small Caramel Shortbread $2.60

The staff find our photo taking curious and ask about it and when I explain they offer to take out the crumble for my husband to photograph which he does. I shall be back for you another night dear crumble! Mark my words!

Apple, rhubarb and berry crumble with oat and nut crunch $5.90 per serve. Ice cream or cream $1 extra.

Corelli’s Café Gallery

352 King St
Newtown NSW 2042
Phone (02) 9550 4080
Open: 7 days 7am-12 midnight;
Unlicensed BYO;
Visa accepted
Seats inside 50 Read More

Strong blog rumour has it that this little narrow patisserie in Balmain makes some of the most luscious, inventive cakes this side of the equator. And what’s more, they do a brisk trade in the sweetest delicate morsels, French almond Macarons. I’ve been trying to get there for several weeks but fate and busy schedules intervene and it always ends up being pushed back yet another week. Not so this week, I am determined to visit and when I call beforehand they tell me the two flavours are raspberry and choc orange. That settles it. After visiting an art gallery we criss cross some truly heinous traffic to Balmain and we enter this tiny but enticing lair of sugary, creamy goodness.

There are no seats or tables, its strictly a take away affair. The long rectangular shaped room makes great use of the space and the desserts are incredibly vividly hued and eye catching. In fact it takes me a good 10 minutes to decide what I am having. Luckily the staff are very friendly and happy to discuss what’s they’ve tasted and they’re patient which also helps.

They point out that Adriano has actually dedicated a dessert to a food blogger that frequents the shop: the Meiying after the blogger Raging Yoghurt. How cool is that? They also have a selection of cookies, quiches, breads and tarts but its the cakes that hold my interest.

I pick out a Mini macaron bag filled with hazelnut, coconut, raspberry and choc orange meringues (sold by weight, $70 per kg) and then go back and forth in front of the cakes trying to decide which two cakes I want. I am torn between a Maxiadz and a Wheelie Good but select the Wheelie Good as I love white chocolate and pistachios. I am also drawn to a dessert that doesn’t have a name or description but from what we’re told its a rhubarb and pear crumble with a disc shaped creamy top. I also order a dessert that I am drawn to as it seems like two desserts in one, the Barbados. They box our goodies and we’re off to sample these delectable goodies. Unfortunately it looks like I was overcharged by about $5 which is a tad annoying since it meant I could’ve ordered one of the passionfruit tarts!

Getting home, we can wait to try these goodies. The weather outside is scorching hot so the Wheelie Good and the Macarons have suffered a little on the trip home. I don’t need any more excuse to try the on-the-verge-of-collapsing Wheelie Good first.

Wheelie Good $6.50

The description for the Wheelie Good reads: pistachio dacquoise, mascarpone mousse, honeyed apples and apricots rolled in white chocolate, pistachio and macadamia nuts. Its stunning and cutting into it seems almost sacrilegious. The crunchy pistachio dacquoise and mascarpone mousse gives a luscious collapse in the mouth and the slivers of honeyed apricots cut through this sweet white chocolatey creamy goodness. The sweet, almost sticky fruit is exactly what it needs and the pistachios and macadamias give it a welcome crunch on the outside. Its absolute textural harmony, an orchestra of textures where every texture is covered and works together beautifully.

Barbados $6.50

We next try the Barbados whose description reads: sable breton, caramelised palm sugar mousse, mango and coconut jelly with pineapple pieces. We try the Mango jelly topped half and the two layer jelly with petite pineapple pieces is droolingly luscious together. There is a layer of a tapioca like jelly underneath it although there isn’t a mention of it in the description. The other half, with the caramelised palm sugar mouse is incredibly creamy and fluffy and dusted with icing sugar. The palm sugar flavour is subtle and the texture is lovely, light and aerated. The sable biscuit base is crispy and buttery. It almost feels like three desserts in one!

Rhubarb and pear crumble with creamy topping $7

We next try the unnamed Rhubarb and pear crumble with custard and cream brulee topping. Slicing through it we see that a layer of sweet stewed rhubarb lies on top of a sweet biscuity base, and on top of that lies a layer of sweet stewed diced pears, then on top of that, lies a layer a sweet creamy mousse and then on top of that is a gorgeous buttery and cinnamon-ey crumble topping. Sitting on top of this is a circle of what was described as a custard and creme brulee although this doesn’t taste particularly like brulee. Its has a slight pear flavour to it too and is grainy or almost floury in texture. Not quite what I expected and not to my taste but what’s waiting for me underneath most certainly is. The crumble is gorgeously buttery and compellingly moreish with the tangy rhubarb, sweet pear and cinnamon filled crumble crust. Despite the fact that I’ve already upped my sugar levels significantly with the other desserts, I keep digging my fork in until its almost gone.

Onto the mini macarons last: let me admit that mini macarons aren’t usually my favourite as the level of filling in these is usually much smaller and there needs to be a decent amount of filling for me. But buying the mini pack was the only way I could try 4 different flavours. The coconut was not particular coconut-ty in flavour, in fact it tasted a little like pear; the raspberry was good but the filling was raspberry jam whereas I definitely prefer the creamier fillings, the hazelnut was delicious and true to flavour and the chocolate orange was also good and true to flavour and the cutest with the smattering of cocoa on the bright orange shell.

Sweets vanquished, I cannot believe how much work is put into each one of these cakes. Each cake has a multitude of unique components with hardly any used more than once which means that the effort made to produce these must be huge! Forget art on walls, this is the real stuff!

Adriano Zumbo

296 Darling Street
Balmain NSW
Tel: +61 (02) 9810-7318
Open: 8am-6pm Mon-Sat
8am-4pm Sunday