I have to mentally prepare myself when entering hipster joints. I have to tell myself that they’re just hipsters and they mean well enough and that they don’t harm anyone really. For good measure I remember the quote from Seinfeld when they referred to Kramer as the “hipster doofus” and realise that being a hipster is not a state of being for most people. And when I was warned by many that The Corner House was hipster central, well I braced myself. Mr NQN and I were on a date night, just the two of us.

Mr NQN and I walk into one entrance of The Corner House in Bondi which takes up residence where the Old Castile pizza joint used to sit. We’ve dining early at 6pm and we are shown to the empty back room. The maitre’d is brusque and seems as if he has a thousand other important things to do other than seat us. Thankfully the Arctic chill ends there and the waiter and bartender are lovely and everything settles down just nicely. We take a look at the menu (a sheet of paper wooden pegged onto an A4 sized piece of box cardboard) and the waiter gives us some recommendations. Prices are excellent here with most mains hovering around the $30 mark.

This drink is a riot in London $18

The cocktail list has a fun list of names including this one which caught our eye called “This drink is a riot in London” and has Tanquerey, St Germain, Campari, apple and cucumber and is sweet and refreshing and summery. The description reads “All the elements of an English Summer: fresh, floral and a hint of bitter lawlessness.” The bartender that conceived the idea was in London during the riots and was inspired to make this cocktail.

Bread

The bread, two fresh fat fingers, is drizzled in olive oil and salt with roasted pepitas and sunflower seeds.

Crowded House Pizza $23

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Picture it: the morning after a dinner party. I woke up and switched on the computer and put my on my computer mouse. It was buttery. Now what were the chances of that? Well if you know me, they’re pretty high. I’m often found reading food blogs with one finger on the mouse and the other feeding myself. So a buttery mouse would be inevitable. And then I got on twitter and the conversation turned to people in public with food on them. I’ve walked out with flour on my skirt and lettuce in my hair. I promised that I would keep an eye out for people wearing food when I was going out for lunch that day. I was hoping that it was more common than I thought (really to make myself feel a little better).

I’m always lost when it comes to the Ivy complex and find staff there varying degrees of helpful. The girl downstairs whose job I’m assuming is to direct lost souls such as myself wandering around the complex barely looks up and moves a bored arm indicating “that way” and could not be less interested. Then when I go upstairs to Uccello, well they couldn’t be more helpful. I’m meeting some friendly people from Whistler in Canada and discussing an upcoming return to Canada and at 12pm there is a smattering of other guests. Come 1pm at the eating hour the restaurant will be full of men in suits with the occasional table of pretty young things.

Balmain bug salad, French beans, artichokes, oven dried cherry tomatoes $26

I choose the Balmain bug salad and we warn the Canadians at the table that Balmain bugs are not in fact insects but really delicious crustaceans that taste like tender lobster tail. Here they are served as small, sweet, deliciously tender pieces amongst a frissee, French beans and artichoke salad dotted with sweet, flavoursome oven dried cherry tomatoes. I found the artichoke a bit too tangy for me and overwhelming in the salad and it was a touch oily from them too. And at $26 this is a bit high for the size of the portion and amount of Balmain bug.

Chicken liver parfait, vin santo jelly, toasted fig brioche $24

I tried a little of the parfait and it was smooth and creamy with a strong hit of alcohol in it.

Risotto with baby spinach, mascarpone, grilled porcini mushrooms

Grass fed eye fillet of beef, sauteeed mushrooms, baby carrots, truffle butter, red wine reduction $48

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If my lucky number is eight, my current unlucky number seems to be five. Why five? Well because with five people you may have to wait 1 hour and 40 minutes for a table at Jamie’s Italian but with six you can make a booking and with a group of two, you can have a table within about half an hour. My friends had encouraged me to make the booking for six people and just cite one as a no show but I was being good.

But after being told it would be a 15 minute wait or thereabouts on the phone that afternoon, a 30 minute wait by the first person while standing at the queue and then an hour as we put our name down after standing in the queue, I’m slightly regretful.

During the wait period Viggo and Dave got up and ordered us some nibblies while Louise, Mr NQN and I waited at the bar. And it was a good thing that he did because you know that twilight where you’ve been waiting for more than you’ve thought and you get your cranky pants on? Well that was Mr NQN. And somehow we completely missed the order for free bread on the menu although I would think just bringing it for people like in most restaurants might be a good idea.

There is a tray of nibblies brought out to the people waiting in the queue which is a nice gesture but the tray comes back still half full bypassing everyone in the bar waiting. I bump into a friend Ute who says to me “Is it just me or is there no signage for this place?”  Oliver is said to pay a visit to his latest outpost some time in February.

Italian Nachos $7

We tried the Italian nachos, crispy deep fried four cheese ravioli blanketed with a thick covering of grated parmesan and “angry’ arrabiata sauce. The ravioli weren’t bad although you couldn’t really tell that there were four cheeses inside and the filling has shrunken leaving mostly an air pocket. The spicy arrabiata sauce is nice and spicy.

Oven dried tomatoes cooked with basil, garlic and creamy ricotta bruschetta $12

The bruschetta, and they all come as pairs, is crispy and crunchy and comes with three different toppings. The first features oven dried cherry tomatoes, basil and garlic and ricotta which is cooling and crunchy and has a good balance of flavours.

Roasted mushrooms grilled and marinated with lemon, thyme and garlic $11

My favourite out of the three bruschetta is the roasted mushrooms that were grilled and marinated with lemon, thyme and garlic as the flavours matched well with the meaty mushrooms.

Spanner crab with chilli, lemon and zest mayo $15

There is a generous amount of crab here and I expected that I would like this best but the crab was quite wet in texture (you can perhaps see the pooling of the liquid in the picture) which made the bread a bit wet too.

It is getting close to one and a half hours and the queue outside has all but disappeared. Dave suggests that we line up again to get a table and figures that we’ll have better luck asking for a “table for three and two but next to each other.” We ask if we can squeeze on a table for four and they see what they can do.

We finally make it upstairs after 1 hour and 40 minutes and by then we know what we want to order having had plenty of time to peruse the menu. The walls are exposed brick, lightly graffiitied with painted metal and wooden chairs and banquettes. There is a downstairs section next to the kitchen which is pumping furiously with testosterone and steam. Our waiter is lovely and accommodating and helps us with the menu selections.

Crispy Squid $12

The crispy squid comes with chopped chilli, parsley and a wedge of lemon. The squid itself is a little tough although we do adore the “really garlicky mayo” which is true to its name-no kissing anyone after that!

Smoky Scamorza Arancini $9.50

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