“See, I’m on this new diet where I don’t eat for a week and when I think I’m going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I figure I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” Emily Charlton, The Devil Wears Prada.
Dear Reader, post Christmas and NYE and the food festival that is the holidays, you may be feeling a little as I do and riffling through your wardrobe for the wrap dresses (always so forgiving) and reminiscing about the delicious food eaten while wondering how to eliminate the gentle reminders of them. After much discussion with friends, I decided to try a detox-in the name of research of course. One of my best friends Queen Viv detoxes every six months. She comes out looking brand new and shiny and she believes that it helps her retain her youthful appearance (she looks at least 20 years younger than she is).
Another girl that I know flies to Thailand once a year for a detox. She swears by it although has made it clear that it’s tough during certain stages. So when I was asked by Natural Detox Drinks whether I’d like to try their detox program, the first thing that jumped in my head was Emily’s quote from the Devil Wears Prada. And then I enthusiastically cleared five days in my calendar when I wasn’t eating out and hoped for the best. Here is my detox diary.
I started off very enthusiastically. I received my delivery yesterday from Natural Detox Drinks and am told that I will be doing the transitioning detox which is the less hard core version of the full juice detox. I’m secretly quite relieved because I’ve never done a detox-my lifestyle and job just isn’t conducive to it.
I started off with a 200ml glass of the Kombucha drink as soon as I woke up. It looked a little like ginger cordial and tasted a little fermenty but it’s pleasant and quite sweet. I followed this up twenty minutes later with lemon water through a straw-apparently I can have as much of this as I want. I’m not a regular coffee drinker so the start was fine, no gnashing of teeth or sniffing bags of coffee. I believe that coffee is the top hurdle for most detoxers.
Around 10am, I decided to crack open one of the satchels of drink. Apparently, I can have as much or as little of these drinks as I want provided I stay within my supply. I chose the chocolatey sounding one (of course) which was cruelly sitting next to my supply of butter, and I poured a glass. I took a sip. It’s a little chocolatey, quite nice and sweet and again healthily pleasant. I then add 1.5 tablespoons of psyllium husks-apparently you need to clear your colon and this helps with it. I tried to say to myself “well it looks like coconut” but after a few minutes, the husks swelled and I was left with a pile of sludgey husks at the bottom of my glass which I ate by the spoonful.
I had an appointment around 2pm so I made sure to eat my only solid meal of the day. For the first three days of the five day detox, I have set out to eat one solid meal of vegetables prepared by myself. Fine, I told myself, I love broccoli and so I steamed myself some. Then I hit my first road block….salt! I season everything, not a lot, but I do season and I couldn’t season this. Suddenly the steamed broccoli turned into something I ate simply to quash my growling stomach. Is this what life for athletes is like when they just use food for fuel and derive little to no pleasure?
After my appointment, I’m feeling vague so I pop open a coconut water. Apparently I can have the unsweetened coconut water and I feel better very quickly. I must admit though that I’m not a fan of any of those prepackaged coconut waters at the supermarket – they don’t taste anywhere as nice as a fresh young coconut cracked open. On my way home I stop at the traffic light and I see a sushi restaurant. I involuntarily start drooling and suddenly a chant enters my mind “Sushi! Sushi! Sushi!” I’m picturing aburi scallop sushi and eel sushi and suddenly I can’t think of anything else.
At 6pm when Mr NQN comes home, I realise that I’ve already had my meal of the day and that I don’t have a meal to look forward to. I miss the social interaction and sharing and I prepare something for Mr NQN that he loves but I’m not tempted by. I look at him and ask him if “I can just watch you eat?” He agrees, but has no real choice in the matter as I stare at him with bulging saucer eyes. I sip on my shakes-I’m supposed to finish all food and drink by 7pm but finish instead at 7:30pm.