Gordon Ramsay once said that his Royal Hospital Road is his pride and joy, if all goes bottoms up then he always has that baby. Only open Monday to Friday it’s also the hardest place to get a table, and at up to £120 a meal for just lunch, the costliest of his restaurants. To secure a coveted table one needs to ring exactly one month in advance, and to secure the table give them your credit card details and should you not show, they can at their discretion, deduct £100 per person for the meal missed. It’s all phrased very courteously but you get the feeling that they wouldn’t hesitate in doing so.

Dear sister of NQN,

Firstly let me thank you for your interest in Restaurant Gordon Ramsay.

I am pleased to confirm your table reservation at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay, located at 68 Royal Hospital Road, London, SW3 4HP as follows:

Where guests wish to make a reservation, it is the restaurant’s policy to secure the booking with their credit card details. In the event that the booking is cancelled in whole or in part by you with less than 24 hours notice or results in a no-show it will be at the discretion of Restaurant Gordon Ramsay to charge £100 per person to your credit card.
We are sorry that this has become a requirement but, regrettably, our experience dictates this precaution. We would be grateful if you could indicate your acceptance by completing and returning this form in order to confirm your booking by fax on 020 7592 1213
Email us at: royalhospitalroad@gordonramsay.com. Unfortunately, we will have to release the table if we have not received the completed form within 48 hours.As we will call you a day before to reconfirm, may I ask you for a contact number where we will be able to reach you on the working day prior to your reservation. Cancellations must be made in writing and sent by fax to 020 7592 1213 or by e-mail to royalhospitalroad@gordonramsay.com

Verbal cancellations cannot be accepted.
We very much look forward to welcoming you at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay.
On Behalf of Restaurant Gordon Ramsay

Picture in menu

The night before, we were left a rather firm sounding voicemail that we were expected at a certain time. The outside of the restaurant is understated elegance, with a simple plaque outside the door and a simple white building as befits the upmarket Chelsea area it resides in. Walking through the corridor there is a small area for guests to wait which also has many copies of his 3 Star chef book for those to read. There is no waiting though as service is brisk, they know who we are and lead us to our table. As it’s earlyish (12.30pm) the dining room room is about half full but within half an hour, all tables are full of diners.

The menu (excuse the fingerprints!)

The manager Jean-Claude Breton is a smoothie, reminiscent a little of Jerry Orbach. He asks us who is “hosting” the table to which we reply “Umm no-one”. Ahh ok not a problem, he smiles and hands us all menus. My sister and I don’t have prices on our menu but my husband has prices in his which is a first. It’s a nice touch if someone is hosting the table so that other guests feel more comfortable ordering without keeping watch of the price.

On the first pages are the a la carte menu featuring ravioli or lobster, langoustine and salmon poached in a light bisque with a lemongrass and chervil veloute as well as slow braised pied de cochon pressed then pan fried with ham knuckle, poached quail’s egg and hollandaise sauce as well as other fantastic sounding dishes. These can be had for £120. There is also following a menu Prestige or a tasting menu made up of 7 smaller dishes for £90. Then there is the Menu of the day, with 3 courses for £45.

Bread with salted and unsalted butter

We order a bit of everything from the Menu of the Day so that everyone can taste all of the dishes. Whilst we are waiting we receive salted and unsalted butter and are asked if we would like olive, white or brown sourdough bread. The olive is my husband’s favourite whilst the white sourdough thickly slathered with salted butter is my sister’s and mine. The service from the staff is wonderful, quiet and unobtrusive but anticipatory of your needs.

Amuse Bouche: vine riped tomato consomme

An amuse bouche arrives, a tomato consomme flavoured with coriander. It’s poured at the table and is intensively sweet with ripe tomatoes.

Quail and wild mushroom pithivier with confit leg and celeriac remoulade

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Tapas Brindisa can be intimidating. Intimidating in that it is ALWAYS crowded, no matter what time you go past and that unless you flag down the manager, you’ll stand virtually ignored, a persona non grata. Brindisa doesn’t take reservations and given the roaring trade, it doesn’t need to. Reservations would simply hold up the process. I adore Spanish food and my gut instinct tells that it is taking over the world (or at least my little part of it). And the thing that has my tastebuds drooling is the idea of eating Jamón ibérico de Bellota, the Wagyu of pork where in Spain or Portugal Black Iberian pigs are raised on a diet of acorns and allowed to roam free in oak forests. The ham is then cured for up to 36 months in the fresh mountain air.

We’re back at Tapas Brindisa at dinner time after being the ignored subjects mentioned above at lunch time when people and plates were whizzing past at a furious speed and our presence caused not a single soul to look our way. We didn’t realise that we needed to get the attention of the manager so we stood there for 10 minutes before leaving as we realised that a table would not be forthcoming, not just because of the huge queue of people already waiting.

Tonight, fortified by false courage, I steel myself and approach the manager thinking that I’ll be dismissed but he gives a broad smile and apologises that there aren’t any table available but that one should be in about 45 minutes so we can come back in 30 minutes. We go for a walk around and take a peek at Neal’s Yard (who have a huge shower running in their store, presumably for moisture to aid in the cheesemaking process) and a Paul Smith store nearby before we return 30 minutes later. There isn’t a table yet although the manager tries to get another table outside set up for us. We wait outside as inside is chaos with bodies standing, sitting and waiting while waiters weave through them with plates of delicious Spanish Jamón and tapas.

While waiting, we ask the manager what time is good to come by and he says “5.30pm but once it is 6 o’clock, all of the tables are gone. At lunch, maybe 12noon?”. A friend who has been here previously has said that even 12 o’clock is too late, it’s 11.50am or nothing. Once the clock strikes 12, it’s musical chairs. He offers us all drinks on the house (wine or soft) for the wait which is a welcome and charming gesture. A table magically frees itself a few minutes later and we are sitting with our complimentary drinks (a gigantic bottle of sparkling mineral water, a Coke and a Rosé wine).

The prize, a food porn worthy shot of the Jamón ibérico de Bellota (Pata Negra)

We’ve already perused the menu having done so while waiting and we ask the waiter if any of the Jamón ibérico de Bellota (Pata Negra) is available and he smiles broadly as if we’ve said the magic words and says “Pata Negra?” and we nod enthusiastically. He points us to the “Gran reserva Joselito Ham-hand carved” for £20 which we immediately order. We also order the Regional charcuterie selection: Teruel Serrano ham, loin, chorizo and salchichon with bread and olive oil £10; potato, chorizo and pepper omelette with aioli £4.65; Deep fried Monte Enebro goat’s cheese with orange blossom honey £6.65 and for good measure, some spicy toasted broad beans £1.

Spicy toasted broad beans £1

The first to arrive is the small plate of spicy toasted broad beans, the beans dried and crispy with a liberal sprinkling of spice powder. They’re like good quality chips.

Gran reserva Joselito Ham-hand carved £20

Our prize, the Jamón ibérico de Bellota arrives next, hand carved and arranged on a plate. I’m surprised at how much we get, from what I’ve seen you get 3-4 slices of it in Australia for about $30 but this looks like more. Tasting it, it’s smooth and intensely flavoursome, a bit like a meat jerky but please don’t let that description put you off, it’s much, much better of course. I mean more as a testament to the intensity of the flavour.

Regional charcuterie selection: Teruel Serrano ham, loin, chorizo and salchichon with bread and olive oil £10

Our regional selection plate is certainly impressive and causes passing pedestrians to almost bump into each other and drool over our table. There is loin (the pale slices), chorizo (thinly sliced rounds), salchichon (another speckled sausage) and Serrano ham, the paler version of the Jamón ibérico de Bellota.

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Sometimes the only thing that will do when one is stressed is some coddling, charm and civility. So where does one turn but a 5 star hotel for lunch.The best part of dining in London is getting to try Michelin starred restaurants. Michelin doesn’t bother with Australia so whilst Tetsuya’s would be worthy of a Michelin star, he remains untouched with the fairy wand. So now is my chance to consume as many Michelin stars as possible. Housed in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel at Hyde Park London, never a shabby place to stay, Foliage has 1 Michelin star. This lunchtime Blythe and I are battling traffic congestion due to two tube lines being closed down and numerous roadworks near by. In fact we’re half an hour late for our booking and when we finally get there frantic and exhausted, we feel like we’ve really “earnt” our meal in effort.

We’re rewarded by broad smiles, soft welcomes and soothing tones. Foliage is a small room with enormous windows that offer a lovely view of Hyde Park, up close and personal. Guests are welcomed by not 3 but 4 courses. And for a price that’s an absolute steal in what can be a criminally expensive city £29. Yes you read right, £29 for lunch.

The menu has 4 choices which is generous and all of them call out in some way. We finally decide on some dishes after a little deliberation. We’re given bread, a choice of white, sourdough or walnut with salted and unsalted butter (walnut the clear winner, singing with walnut flavour through the copious amount of chunks).

Amuse Bouche: Chive Vichyssoise

We’re then bestowed with our Amuse Bouche, a Chive Vichyssoise. It’s creamy and smooth with a light mascarpone quenelle floating in the centre. A delicious start.

Starter: crab, mango, cucumber and coriander

Our starters then arrive, mine was the crab, mango, cucumber and coriander. The crab meat is delicate and sweet, the thing mango slices swirled on the plate with cucumber flavoured pasta and coriander sprigs. It all works beautifully together, never overwhelming the delicate crab. There are two delicious fried crab balls to give an alternate texture and taste.

Starter: Foie gras, beetroot, ginger bread and pecans

Blythe’s starter, a Foie gras, beetroot, ginger bread and pecans cleverly resembles rhubarb stalks. I do like Foie gras although sometimes I find it too strong. Not in this case, it’s beautifully balanced and beetroot goes wonderfully with the foie gras mousse. There is also a ball of foie gras rolled in pistachios which is also wonderful with the walnut bread which is thoughtfully topped up for us.

Intermediate: Scallops, squid ink, orzo, green almonds

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