
Every year when Mother’s Day comes around, I start thinking of places to take my mother to. The first idea always starts with afternoon tea (hmmm I must admit that many food ideas start with afternoon tea) and starting a day’s eating with an afternoon tea is really the best sort of start you can have. One our recent trip to the Yarra Valley, Mr NQN and I decided to go back to place of one of our favourite stays a couple of years ago. Chateau Yering was where we participated in our first truffle hunt, had a delicious dinner by candlelight after a blackout and vowed that we would definitely come back.

Afternoon tea needs to be booked ahead of time and it is a $55 a head including sparkling wine. We take our tea in the Drawing Room, a blue hued room filled with restored antique furniture and we sit on the lounge opposite the fireplace. The menu for the high tea changes regularly according to the pastry chef Simon Docherty’s ideas and it starts with a glass of Yering Station’s Yarra Bank Late Disgorged sparkling wine. The 2004 drop is delicious with delicate bubbles and a true honeyed sweetness to it.

The sandwiches and savouries come out first-on three plates no less (and yes, this is the typical serving size for two!). The first plate contains three items: a divine prosciutto wrapped duck roulade with beetroot gel, a creamy rich feta mousse tart and a petite squirt of duck liver parfait on crouton-delicious but I would have loved a bit more on the bread.

There are two types of triple decker sandwiches on the plate: a Mediterranean char grilled vegetable and cheese sandwich and a Virginia ham, Yarra Valley Cheddar and tomato sandwich. Each sandwich type comes in a white and wholemeal bread. The bread is super fresh, there are no crusted over portions here and the fillings for both are generous. The char grilled vegetables are moist and full of flavour but I think the wholemeal ham and cheddar sandwiches spread with mayo just pipped them at the post for me. What can I say? I’m a ham for ham! And Mr NQN notes that while afternoon tea often leaves him hungry, having one and a half triple decker sandwiches per person left him patting his stomach happily.

The third plate features two individual portions of the chicken, tarragon and mayonnaise rolls. The chicken is finely shredded and blended with the mayonnaise and it’s served on a freshly baked rectangular roll. The only thing would be just a bit more chicken in the sandwich to make the ratio fit.

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May 1st, 2013
by Not Quite Nigella

I’ve finally capitulated. I’ve finally done something that I’ve effectively managed to put off for my whole life. I was sitting at a lunch one day and I looked around. Other food writers were popping cholesterol pills and talking about the perils of their job. Chins wobbled, cherubic faces shook with sympathy and I realised that if I didn’t already look like that, I would perhaps soon.
So Dear Reader, I got a personal trainer. I know, it’s sooo not me.
I approached it with trepidation, shopping around. The first place I rang was very nice but didn’t have a PT available during the time that I wanted. I know myself very well by now and if I have to get up at the crack of dawn, I won’t so I tried a second one. They didn’t ask me any questions about what I wanted, they just asked me to come into their Surry Hills location to see what they were all about. Again, I know that if I have to travel somewhere (a suburb where there’s no parking) I generally won’t. The third call was promising and I hit the jackpot and a few days later, I had my first lesson.

A strange part of me was excited about it. My trainer Nina is sweet and enthusiastic but tough and won’t let me get away with anything. My first session left my muscles aching and Mr NQN found me at home on the bed moaning. “I tried to put up the laundry but my arms couldn’t….there are no pegs on anything, NO PEGS I tell ya!” I told him desperately and dramatically waving my hands spirit-fingers style because my arms wouldn’t move.
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April 30th, 2013
by Not Quite Nigella

“In the nineties, I had an erotic dream about Kim Beazley…” Marcia says to Natasha and I one evening. I almost spurt out my drink and then try to scrub the visual from my mind. It’s times like this when I’m glad that we’re sitting outside, the busy Sydney Friday night around us muffling our somewhat sordid and not-for-public-consumption conversation. We’re at Tapavino in Circular Quay, in Bulletin Place, a snug little laneway that to be honest I never knew existed that is pitched right next to a hotel. Inside is a red hued wine bar with a shiny display of glasses on the back wall but we’re sitting al fresco in this slightly chilly but still lovely Friday evening.

Cristina Oloroso Abocado sherry $9
Tapavino is said to be Australia’s first dedicated Jerez or Sherry bar with 54 sherries on the menu with 46 available by the glass. Patrons can tell them what sort of wine they usually enjoy and they will match them to a suitable sherry. They also specialise in Spanish wines by the glass or three carafe sizes or bottles. I do love a drop of Pedro Ximenez so I flick through to the sherry pages. On the waiter’s recommendation I try a Cristina Oloroso Abocado which is medium dry scented sherry although truth be told I should have really stuck with the Sánchez Romate Pedro Ximenez which was sublime with an intense raisin flavour, incredible legs and that went down as smooth as silk.

Razor clams $16
We’re on a tiny table for the three of us although it seems that we’re lucky to have this table given the shuffling that’s taking place around us for other tables. The menu is quite extensive and holds an intriguing and hard to choose list of menu items. Between the three of us, we decide on a list of four items and then thought that we should compare them to our friendly waiter’s recommendation. It turns out that there were none in common so we went with our own choices. Our first was the razor clam dish served as six razor clams topped with verdant mashed peas and broadbeans, eschallots and thin, crispy pieces of jamon. They were full of fresh flavours.

Pata Negra $30
There’s a jamon menu with eight different plates of jamon, mostly jamon serrano but as soon as I see Pata Negra, I can see nothing else on the list. Oh my kingdom for Pata Negra or Jamon Iberico, that incredible glossy jamon made from pigs that feast on black acorns. Yes, it’s expensive but it’s quality over quantity and the intense flavour and melt in the mouth texture is hard to find in other jamon. It is served here with fresh crusty bread and breadsticks.

Sardines de Compostela $17
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April 29th, 2013
by Not Quite Nigella

I was once compared to Dennis Rodman.
Yes, that’s right, the tattooed flame haired Hall of Fame basketball player that was once married to Carmen Electra, known for his defensive and rebounding abilities (those last two points I must admit I got from Wikipedia). I remember doing a double take when they compared me to him. I was in Japan teaching English and there was an American teacher called Paul who made this really quite strange statement. I asked him to explain the comparison and no, I am not a tattooed flame haired Hall of Fame basketball player that was once married to Carmen Electra and known for my defensive and rebounding abilities. His reasoning was that I was controversial because I looked Chinese or even Japanese but I acted Australian and sounded Australian (whatever that meant). “You may as well dye your hair bright orange like him to confuse people even more” he said half jokingly and quite drunk.

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April 28th, 2013
by Not Quite Nigella

When all else fails, bring fried chicken.
If I were to ever have a bumper sticker, I think it would say that. Put some on the menu and suddenly my head which is facing down towards the computer suddenly lifts. “Did someone say fried chicken? Or did someone say fried chicken and watermelon? Who does that?”

Well that would be Eat Art Truck’s chef Stuart McGill who has branched out into more casual permanently located dining with his food truck. Truckstop in Bondi Beach, on the first floor of the Bondi Beach Hotel serves up similar food in a permanent location. First opened in September 2012,the menu was quite different to this very recent revamp which reduces the number of offerings to a smaller number. After an exhausting weekend day which sees us traipsing across Sydney to buy gifts and Mr NQN’s younger brother Manu moving house, we just want something quick and simple. And let’s be honest once I heard fried chicken I was a goner. I tried ringing to book on the only mobile number given and nobody answered although someone called me back later.

There’s a miracle two hour park just opposite the hotel and we take that as a sign. I recognise the familiar kanji which means “stop” in Japanese and we go upstairs. At 7pm there are just a few tables of people and it’s an enormous space that is decked out to look like a truckstop-well a glamourised version. To be totally honest I’ve only seen truckstops on television shows and usually crime shows where there are prostitutes and murders. Maybe I need to change my television diet…

This one has oil cans, road signs, spray paint tins (for the art work) and a plywood and concrete ceiling. Chairs are metal and cups and plates are enamel. The familiar graffiti by graffiti artist Phibs is displayed on the outside courtyard area and that is also where you place your order and pay and take your bucket with cutlery and napkins to your table. I go to the counter to order.

Truckstop Spider $8
Under the desert menu, there was a touch of confusion when I wanted to order this as they originally told me to go to the bar to get this but it turns out that you order this along with the food. There is a bottom layer of lemonade, very much tasting like Japanese ramune and a thick layer of mango and coconut sorbet as well as cream on top. There was quite a lot of the unusually textured, almost jelly-like mango sorbet that it was hard to mix the two parts together like what you would do traditionally with a spider.

Edamame $6
This was an order for vegetarian Manu. The edamame beans have been sprinkled with a tasty seaweed salt which makes them quite addictive.

Buns 3 for $15 or $6 each
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April 27th, 2013
by Not Quite Nigella