The species Foodus Bloggerus is a peculiar creature. I know, because I feel distinctly peculiar most times. We march to the beat of our own drum (or more accurately the sound of food sizzling). When most people are enjoying their food, we're taking close ups of it. So to understand this misunderstood creature, allow me to reveal 10 things you should know about this unusual creature, should you ever encounter us in the wild.
Step 1 - Be prepared to eat early. Like a reverse Vampire, we love the light as more light means better photos. Eating dinner at 4pm? Sure, no problem, the light will be good then. Similarly, you'll also find us seated near the window more often than not as the light is better there and we only use Flash in extreme circumstances or in closed blogger-friendly company.
Step 2 - We're shy and hate to be stared at, especially while we are taking photos. However if it's something exciting, we retreat into a haze and snap away uncaring. That's called the "Paparazzi Brangelina moment", when we descend into a frenzy of snapping.
Step 3 - Most people react to romantic lighting positively. Not the food blogger. We will utter things such as "crap, not this moody, romantic lighting again. What about my photos!". Because as you know, it's all about the photos ;)
Step 4 - We love to share food. The equation is straightforward: the more food shared, the more food sampled and the more we can write about.
Hmm, how do I get the piece back in without them noticing?
Step 5 - If invited somewhere, we'll usually bring something as it gives us an excuse to make something for our blog. However this is not catch free. A cake might have a slice taken out of it for photographic reasons although it may be put back into place. Try not to stare and pretend the piece wasn't cut. Please. We feel weird enough as it is.
Step 6 - We love to choose where to eat out. Please let us choose - food is our life and we will painstakingly research places. We may also send through copious links and print out menus. It's a compulsion. Just take them smiling and back away if you need to. Oh and trust us, the place may look weird/seedy but the food will be good.
Food-the ultimate gift
Step 7 - If you ever want to give a gift, give food. Something unusual, hard to get or exotic is wonderful. Or something fresh from your garden. We are easy to please. I swear I thought I wanted Choos until I got a roast rib of pork as a gift.
Step 8 - Dinner out with us in a restaurant is an experience. It can either go well and can be an interesting experience or it can go badly. Embarrassing sometimes if you aren't used to the excessive photo taking. But it's never boring. Badly is when a chef comes out to yell at us for taking photos or something similar. Good is when you get an [extra ](http://www.notquitenigella.com/2008/10/20/gordon-ramsays-petrus-by-marcus-wareing- london/)dessert or when the chef comes out to say hello or explain how they've made something.
Yes we took pictures of the bread and butter...
Step 9 - If you dine with us, you'll learn the art of patience. Yes we even want to photograph the bread and butter. Food is better a bit colder right? Or so we'd like to convince you.
Step 10 - It's hard once you get into the habit, for us to not take photos of the food that we eat. I've only eaten out once and not taken a photo. And it hurt. Similarly, when I was watching an episode of Mad Men the other week, I was so engrossed in watching Peggy having dinner with her date and their drinks arrived and I wondered why she didn't whip out a camera before drinking it and so my hand reached out to get my camera. Yes, it really did.
Tell me Dear Reader, do you have any other keen observations, either as a food blogger or an observer of one?