Foodus Bloggerus in action
I recently did a story about 10 Things You Should Know About Food Bloggers. I didn't realise how popular it would be, after all it was just my rambling musings on the topic but what I did find out was exactly how alike we are as a breed and how fantastically comforting that was. The comments and astute observations of other food bloggers made made me chuckle too and gave rise to a second post on the topic, 12 MORE Things You Should Know About Food Bloggers. So without further ado, here are another 12 things you should know about our particular, peculiar kind.
Step 1 - If you dine out with a Foodus Bloggerus, you'll learn the art of dissecting food. An answer such as "It's ok" is no longer sufficient. If you can create some oral poetry and describe the flavour or better still if you can pick the ingredients in it so that we can replicate it at home, you are a food blogger's friend for life.
Step 2 - Is everyone at dinner thinking of ordering the same thing? Can you hear the voice in our head screaming "Dear God NO!" (or perhaps we even say it out loud). We love ordering different things as means that there's more coverage of the dishes at the restaurant and it makes for a better story. In many cases when people ask me "What are you going to order?" my first response is "Depends on what you order" ;) .
Oh yes there's the Eiffel Tower around here somewhere..but look at the queue for ice cream!
Step 3 - If you've ever seen a food blogger's holiday snaps you'll notice that 90% of the photos will be of the food and restaurants that we've visited. Sure there may be 1 or 2 of the Eiffel Tower thrown in but it may just be because there happens to be the Jules Verne restaurant there. And ok we may also include the non food ones because we know that you'll laugh at us if it's full of food photos.
Step 4 - Sharing is caring and we love to share. Have you ever cut up a chocolate into quarters? We have. After all everyone has to have a taste right? Even if you don't want to, just try it and let's talk about it some more :)
Step 5 - Colleagues of food bloggers are the biggest benefactors of our habit. In order to try and maintain a reasonable weight, it's much easier to foist our creations on you. Send us your Weight Watchers bill.
Step 6 - How do Food bloggers kill time? Scouring obscure ethnic grocery stores and high end food emporiums for unusual ingredients. Is it exotic? Does it derive from the petals of a plant that only opens 3 days in a year? Check! Into the basket it goes.
Step 7 - Spouses of food bloggers are generally patient people, ones whose credit cards may have run slightly dry at the purchase of gold leaf and saffron ("Honey I had to buy it. And didn't they say that gold is a good investment?"). I don't want to say long suffering though as they do reap the benefits of good food. Some spouses like Mr NQN even get into the process and photograph the food even though he has very little interest in food whilst some remain bemused and embarrassed by the whole thing. Just surrender to us and comply quietly. It will make things a lot easier, trust me...
Step 8 - Some food bloggers take notes. Please don't be offended, just pretend that we're typing into a Blackberry and hopefully that may seem more normal.
Step 9 - The bedside table of a food blogger is simply a cookbook book shelf with little post it flags stuck to each second page marking recipes we intend to cook - one day. It's a socially acceptable form of pornography - food pornography.
Autograph from Marcus Wareing
Step 10 - We question because we care. A non caring/unknowledgeable waiter is our worst nightmare and we are their nightmare customer. If we've enjoyed a dish we want to know more about it. so we can a) blog about it and b) perhaps recreate it at home. If a waiter has been trained to know everything there is about a dish, their face brightens when we ask them as they finally get a chance to show off what they've been asked to learn. And it may lead to a kitchen tour which is pretty much like going backstage at a rock concert. And that's why we collect autographed menus from chefs.
Danish Horn of Plenty
11.Got a birthday/christening/anniversary/wedding coming up? Chances are the foodus bloggerus will probably help out. After all when else are we going to have the opportunity to make a Croquembouche or a Danish Horn Of Plenty? I brought this Horn of Plenty to a friend's party once and it was such a hit I vowed to turn up to every party with a Horn of Plenty.
Step 12 - We carry a spare battery and if it's a once in a lifetime moment, we carry a spare lens and/or camera. I also carry a fork with me and a knife is in the car. I have a response already prepared for the police officer that stops me and is alarmed to see I have a knife in the glove compartment. "I'm sorry officer but you see I'm a Food Blogger".
So tell me Dear Reader, is there anything that I've left out?