Hate your boss? Your neighbour driving you up the wall with their decidedly bogan choice of music (yes I’m talking to you neighbour!)? A friend or a relative sending you passive aggressive emails? Well do I have the recipe for you! And if I told you that it would require you to vent any pent up fury inside you then would that make it even more fun?
Now I’m quite fortunate in that I am my own boss and I love that fact. Admittedly I am headstrong and I have literally had a rainbow of terrible bosses over the years. If I were to do a little round up I’ve had a Nazi sympathiser, the supervisor that tried to seduce my then boyfriend and call us at 2am in the morning and the paranoid one who we were all convinced was locked in a cellar for most of his formative years.
Then there was the boss that on the first day called me into her office and asked me how to set up “One of those cool hotmail accounts (it was the year 2000 and hotmail was not “cool”!).” She also had a copy of Internet for Dummies in her locked drawer (alarmingly, she was the media director of an internet company!) and would routinely shut me out of meetings. I didn’t take it personally until her husband came into the office and when people introduced him to me his expression changed from that of benign pleasantry to a face contorted full of spite. He cast a significant look towards his wife, my boss and let out a slow “Oh yesssss I’ve know…” to which everyone took a step back and eyed both of us. Clearly they had been talking…
Thankfully I don’t have any annoying bosses any more. In fact if I don’t have to deal with someone I just don’t which is one of the perverse pleasures of this job. Another pleasure of this job is talking about food in interviews and last week I was interviewed by Louise Maher for 666 ABC radio Canberra (you can listen to it here) to talk cupcakes and they asked me what my interactions with my readers were like. I told her that they were lovely there were the comments which I absolutely adore but also emails full of sweet and lovely sentiments, questions, restaurant recommendations and recipes. One reader Catherine had sent me a recipe by chef Jared Ingersoll which involved baking crabs in the oven and then periodically smashing at them with a mallet or rolling pin. Sanctioned violence in the name of a good meal? I liked it! Then another friend Renee sent it to me and I knew that it was a sign, make the crab and make it on the long weekend!
I decided to invite Queen Viv over, who needed to get some frustrations out and we set to work. The recipe calls for three crabs to be rubbed in a spice paste and then roasted along with some capsicum (peppers) , tomato, onion and garlic. And the most fun part is that every 15 minutes or so you get to take the baking tin full of crab and flavours (which by the way smells so alluringly come hither that you may have to restrain yourself and others) and smash it to smithereens taking out any fury you have on the crab. The best part is that the angrier you are the tastier the soup will be as the flavour packed shells release their deep seated flavour. See what I mean? Sanctioned violence! The whole thing is then simmered with stock and herbs for the last 10 minutes and then blitzed with a stick blender and then strained.
The recipe calls for a fish stock but I didn’t have any so I used a new brand called The Stock Merchant who had sent me some of their stock to sample. They use free range chicken and beef bones and the stock is unsalted so that you can add the amount of salt that you want later.
The resulting flavour of this soup is incredible. There is an amazing depth of flavour from layering the soup. The careful and fun smashing of the crab means that you get the delicate sweetness of the crab but it also avoids that overt seafoody flavour in some bisques that I find too strong. I will warn you do not wear your best clothes and if you do like I foolishly did, get plenty of cold water on the stains immediately and they will come out.
It is not an every day soup, it’s a little bit of a production for that but it is perfect for a dinner party or if you want to impress anyone and it makes plenty and enough to serve six as an entree and can be made ahead of time. It was just as good the day after and the day after that. And as for the leftover crab meat and vegetable mixture I did nibble at that and there are the occasionally bits of shell but it was so flavour packed that I treated it like eating fish with bones-worthwhile but you have to stop every now and then for the shell. But whatever you do save this recipe for when you or a friend is feeling frustrated and smash away knowing that the madder you are the tastier the soup will be! Play your loudest music, scream when you smash but whatever you do make this soup 
So Dear Reader, tell me about your worst boss and what you do to get your frustrations out?
P.S. Don’t forget the To Market To Market winners have been announced here! Have a look to see whether you’ve won a prize
Crab and Harissa Soup
- 3 whole blue swimmer crabs (about 750grams)
- 1 teaspoon cumin
- 1 teaspoon caraway seeds
- 1 teaspoon coriander seeds
- 1/2 teaspoon fenugreek seeds
- 1/3 cup or 2 3/4 ozs soft brown sugar
- a pinch of chilli flakes
- Salt and pepper
- 150ml/5 fl ozs vegetable oil
- 4 ripe tomatoes, chopped
- 3 red capsicums, seeded and chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 1 red onion, chopped
- 1.5 litres/6 cups/52 fl ozs. fish or chicken stock
- 1/2 bunch coriander
- 3 sprigs mint
- You will also need a mallet or French rolling pin
Blue swimmer crabs
Removing the lip from the underside of the crab
Pulling apart the shell and taking off the top of the shell
The dead man’s gills (the clear puffy finger shaped items)
1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. Prepare the crabs-it’s much easier than you might think. Have a large bowl ready. Remove the tab from the underside of the crab and then separate the top shell from the bottom shell. The meat will come with the bottom shell. remove the “dead man’s gills” and then cut the crab into quarters using a heavy chef’s knife. Place in a bowl being sure to collect all of the juice and meat.
Chopping in half
The finished quartered crab
Pounding the toasted spices
2. Prepare the spice mix by toasting the cumin, caraway, coriander and fenugreek seeds in a small dry saucepan until the coriander seeds start to pop and they become fragrant. Grind in a mortar and pestle and then sprinkle over the crabs in the bowl along with the brown sugar, chilli flakes, salt and pepper.
The spice rubbed crabs in the heated baking tin
Smash away!
3. Place a sturdy roasting tin in the oven-don’t use your best one as you will be smashing at it with a mallet. When it is hot, add the oil and then the crab and spices. Mix together well and then bake for 20 minutes. After the first 5 or 10 minutes take out the tin and use a heavy mallet or rolling pin to smash at the crab. It gets easier as the crab cooks and to avoid giving your kitchen a Jackson Pollock, cover the tin with a teatowel and smash it underneath it (or just press heavily with the mallet to crush the shells). Do this one or two more times within the 20 minute period.
Adding the chopped tomato, capsicum, onion and garlic
After baking
More smashing
4. Then add the capsicum, tomato, garlic and onion to the tin and stir to combine. Cook for an hour taking it out two or three times to smash up the shells-or more if you’re really feeling the fury. It should start to smell incredible at this point so you may want to restrain anyone rowdy and hungry…
All smashed up and ready for the pot
5. Heat up a large saucepan or cast iron pot that can fit the soup in it and transfer the contents of the tin into the pot. Heat with the warmed stock and add the coriander and mint and simmer for 10-15 minutes. Using a stick blender, blend it up as much as possible. You won’t be able to do the large legs or the large back shell but don’t worry, do as much as possible. run through a fine sieve making sure to press it down to get all of the liquid. There will be a lot of liquid so keep pressing-this is preciously good! Serve with some freshly baked bread.
Cooking in the pot with stock and herbs
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64 Comments | Add your own
Great, the harder you smash, the more flavoursome the soup. This looks like a beautiful recipe that I would try this winter. Love the intense orange colour too. Thanks for sharing.
That soup is marvelous! I love those flavors.
Cheers,
Rosa
Funny. I wonder if your previous bosses read your blogs?
Wow you had a fair share of stress there! Glad that you’re your own boss now!
Omg those claw tools! And what an interesting idea using the flavoring from the crab shells to add depth to the soup. I guess it’s not that different from making a stock out of shrimp shells, for example. Really loving it!
I can see how the flavour would be seriously good in this recipe. Very nice!!
Wow! Love this recipe – love that you get all the crabby goodness without having to pick the crab meat!
What a stunning colour this soup is. I adore your crab claw crackers – shaped like crab claws.
I love how wonderfully vibrant this soup is!
That is my kind of soup. I’m imagining the taste and I LIKE IT! Oh and I’m totally drooling over the bread and butter in the pic. You KNOW I’m a sucker for those
Looks like a wonderful soup! There are definitely some people in high positions out there which you wonder how they ever got there!
Amazing! I was catching a bunch of sand crabs at Apollo Bay a few months ago, I’m sure a recipe like this would work really well for them! Thanks for the inspiration!
Oh anger management cooking, I love it! That sounds like the most amazing tasting soup.
The boss at my first job (started in 1978) was a fruit loop he would be yelling at someone in front of other staff, then someone would walk past. He would stop his tirade mid sentence speak nicely to the passing person then return to his victim. Luckily I was never on the receiving end.
I’ve actually had quite lovely bosses! But I do have a neighbour who plays the same old Shania Twain album at top volume every Saturday morning while she cleans the house – I can see some soup smashing being very useful on those mornings at our place!
What a gorgeous blend of flavours and no tedious crab picking – a winner, for sure.
Bondi Junction, late 1980′s, a very small high rise office with one chain smoking, loud female solicitor who thought she was a superior specimen. This was in the days when the boss could blow smoke at your face and there was nothing you could do about it except leave. Which I did. I started on Monday, applied for another job, was successful and resigned on Friday. My new boss insisted I give her two weeks notice as he would not like to be left in the lurch, nor apparently, did she deserve to be either. The l-o-n-g-e-s-t three weeks of my life. The new boss, was charming, but being an ex Navy admiral, women were not allowed to wear pants. To this day, I do not own a pair of jeans
(at least he was a great boss – except for the clothing chauvinism.
Would love to smash this crab at the solicitor’s home, with great enthusiasm … but it is undoubtedly too tasty to share with her
I can just imagine the taste is amazing! Love the idea of smashing into bits. How fulfilling. I just listened to your interview. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Now to get some fresh crabs in this neck of the woods! This looks absolutely delicious and totally ‘my cup of tea(soup?)’!
! As far as bosses went, all my high school/Uni part-time jobs’ supervisors were great. My first ‘real’ job was to be in our family firms, and since I was willing to do all the boring and finicky bits – thank God, never had any probs at all! Sorry not to have an exciting tale to tell! 
!
Love it! There a few heads I can imagine those crabs being lol.. I’m enjoying being my own boss for the next weeks until my baby comes along to boss me about
I’m going to try this one night next week, looks delicious.
I’m always wary to cook with crab but this looks very tempting indeed!
Wow your worst boss stories put mine to shame! My worse experience was probably when my boss yelled at me because I didn’t restock the spines for the binding machine and didn’t realise he needed about 150 of them that day. I think he called me stupid, I’ve kind of blocked it out!
Crab is my favourite food in the world. I think I just died and went to heaven!
This looks stunning…love the bread as well…recipe? (Or did you buy?)
Hi Tenina-Thank you! They’re Sonoma mini baguettes in the picture!
This soup looks and sounds incredible, which is saying something, as I’m allergic to crab. By the way, I wonder what constitutes ‘bogan’ music – Whispering Jack?!
Wow this does look good for releasing frustration.
I’ve had some interesting bosses. One had his assistant send around an email to everyone asking us to refrain from using staples in anything we send to him (maybe he hurt his little fingers
).
Another one when I was at uni cut my shifts to one a week but said ‘but don’t worry I’m sure you don’t need the money’. No – I was just working because I loved making juices and dealing with cranky people all day!
Is it wrong that the thing I noticed the most was the colour of your nail polish?
Hmmm. The soup looks like quite a production indeed and definitely something to do in a team. I think I know who I’d like to try this with.
Looks wonderful. It’s times like this I wish I could smell things online.
Ewww, your boss tried to seduce your bf? And then a paranoid and then a dummy one? Do you know there’s a new show in America called “Horrible Bosses?” They should get tips from you. Hahahaha!
Thankfully the editor I have now, I adore. Hopefully I have more luck, though I have to say now, you have the best boss in the world.
This looks and sounds amazing! The step-by-step pictures are really handy!
I’m normally not tempted to try fiddly recipes but can’t wait to vent some anger on this one! Looks incredible and I can almost smell it from here.
I like the idea of Pyscho Cooking with all that smashing, I certainly know my share of pyscho chefs! My worse boss just hated everything about me. Once I rang to tell her I was in hospital and couldn’t come to work and she just hung up on me. I would cry as I drove to work each day. The hours were the only thing that kept me there as we were in our very poor aprenticeship days. NOW however, I won’t put up with crap from anyone!
Yum, I love crab and so rarely cook with it. I must try this.
Haha I’ve had my fair share of awful bosses. I wonder if they know they’re bad? They should!
Soup looks amazing
Oh, how I want! how I very, very much want! I’ve been sick since Sunday and the idea of a tomato-y, seafood-y, fresh crab-packed soup sounds amazing to my sore throat and queazy tummy!
~~I can think of a few bosses I’d like to SMASH
Seriously, Man.
The soup looks yummmmmy & warm & soothing.
Just like your blogs, Sweet Lorraine.
PS. You are simply smashing.
I really should try this, actually i really should get my hubby to do this.
I saw that stock the other day and picked it up, looked at the price, put it down, picked it up again, put it down, decided i’d try it on something special. But then i made my own free range chicken stock and its delicious
I never eat crab (allergic) but this does look fantastic. I’ve been guzzling soup like no-one’s business these past few weeks – the cold weather is so conducive to to soup eating. Plus you can make it in vast quantities and freeze, making for very easy nutritious lunch.
I once had a crazy boss who used to yell at all her staff on the phone and make them cry. So glad I left that job!
It looks delicious! A lovely soup like this always makes me think of the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. I’m so inspired that I’m having soup for breakfast. I don’t have any crab on hand so I’ll just have to make do with tomato soup with all those lovely spices. Thanks for the recipe and the step by step pictures.
Sounds like just the thing to work off some aggression. Reminds me of a fantastic place we went to in Pismo Beach, California, ‘the smashed crab’. You got a bib, a mallet and ontop of a paper tablecloth they tumbled a bucket of cooked crab, potatoes and sausage. It was a good night.
This looks delicious, especially with the peppers & spices giving it that rich red colour.
WOW. crab soup.
ive been craving crab for a while.
I love soup, but for crab, i think its better to eat the juicy meat rather than making soup. But baking them your way looks yummy!
Hi chopinandmysaucepan-Excatly isn’t that fabulous?
Thanks, I loved the colour too and I was so impressed how deep and rich it was. You’re welcome! 
Hi Rosa-Thanks so much Rosa!
Hi Three-Cookies-haha I hope they do
Hi Michelle-I know, but I think I got off lightly compared to others!
Thanks, me too! 
Hi Xiaolu-Aren’t they great? Yes there is so much flavour in them it’s wonderful and yes just like you said, like using shrimp shells
Hi Theresa-Thanks very much! The flavours were amazing
Hi Celia-Thanks! I am so glad that my reader Catherine sent it through
haha I know, meat picking can take ages!
Hi Cakelaw-Thank you!
Hehe I love them. I’ve had them for ages and hav been waiting to use them for photos
Hi Lisa-Thanks Lisa!
Hi Liss-I know, we were blown away by the depth of flavours
Haha yes that’s my homemade butter and some Sonoma bread!
Hi Susan-Thanks Susan!
I know, sometimes you really wonder don’t you!
Hi Rohan-I bet they would!
You’re very welcome 
Hi Apple-Haha I like that! I wish I had put that in my title
Hi jenny-Oh ugh that’s awful! And even creepier that he would stop and speak nicely in the middle of it!
Hi shan-Oh that’s great!
Haha really? Is it any song in particular? 
Hi Amanda-Thank you! And yes no crab picking here at all!
Hi Merryn-Oh no she sounds awful! I can imagine the last three weeks would have been awful especially as she would have been on even worse behaviour! How very funny about the no pants rule. But I suppose if he was decent in other aspects then that’s good!
Hi Dressed and Eaten-Thanks, it is really packed full of flavour
Thanks so much! 
Hehe I can’t listen to myself and my voice 
Hi EHA-Oh perhaps some frozen ones? Oh you’re very fortunate you haven’t had any bad bosses! And don’t be sorry at all!
Hi Melissa-Haha yes that’s the best way to put it!
Hehe that will be a very demanding or cute boss 
Fantastic! I hope you like it 
Hi Jen-it’s the easiest way to cook with it I promise
Hi Leah-Oh really? being yelled at is no fun at all is it and being called stupid is terrible!
Hi Amy-hehe oh cool! Well if you make it I’d love to know what you think of it!
Hi Bel-Oh are you? That’s no good! Are you allergic to all shellfish? You could try another (or even crab, would that work?)
Haha perhaps! 
Hi Claire-It is perfect for it
Haha that’s hilarious! No staples? He didn’t have a staple remover? How bizarre and yes why else do we work? 
Hi Jasmin-hehe not at all, it’s Chanel Kaleidoscope
Haha that’s great that you have someone in mind! 
I really wish I could send out samples of this!
Hi sophia-Yep he sure did! haha I could definitely be a consultant to that show
Haha you are too kind and I hope you continue your trend of great bosses! 
Hi pigpigscorner-Thanks! It was so much fun we had to capture them
Hi Picnics in Provence-haha that’s the best way to think of it
The smell was so good, we were dying to have it!
Hi InTolerantChef-I can imagine!
Oh no you poor thing! Why would she be so mean? Some people are just inexplicably awful aren’t they! Good on you!
Hi Debra-if you like crab then I think you’ll like this
Hi Nic-I don’t know, do you think they do? Or they do and don’t care? It’s so perplexing!
Thank you!
Hi Hannah-Oh you poor thing! If I could send you some I would!
Hi kim-hehe good idea!
Thank you very much lovely Kim! right back at you! 
Hi muppy-Oh yes you could definitely get the menfolk interested in this recipe I think! Oh making your own, well done!
Hi Sian-Oh no you’re also allergic to crab?
yes it’s soup weather for sure isn’t it! It’s just so chilly-brrr and as you say you can make it in large lots! 
Ack, why do people do things like yell at others?
Hi KK-Thanks so much!
Haha I wonder if he had a version of this soup in his cupboard? 
Oh that sounds delicious! you’re very welcome! 
Hi Tori-Haha that sounds brilliant! I’d love to go there one day!
What fun!
Hi Phunk-Thanks Phunk!
I loved the colour too 
Hi Dolly-hehe I always crave crab!
Well this is much easier than picking out the meat! 
Too bad I’m allergic to shellfish!
That looks absolutely delicious! And how fun to let your anger out in the name of food.
Hi Lorraine, that looks delicious I will definitely give this recipe a go, the colour looks beautiful!
Oooh, this looks perfect for a little revenge – my neighbors upstairs have been drilling and hammering at all hours of the night. I might just prepare this outside their door!
this is one recipe that really needs video accompaniment – would love to see you and Queen Viv in action
LOL, Lorraine!
This looks like so much fun.
I would have to pick through and take the shells out before I ate the leftovers.
But I’m old hat in that category.
When we were first married I would buy a bag of chicken necks, cook them, and get all the bones out, and then make soup.
The cheapest and best soup!
If you liked this for letting off frustration you should try my trailer smashed pork chops.
My kids thought the preparation was better than sliced bread.
Trailer Smashed Pork chops
From my friend LaDonna
4 to 5 boneless pork chops,
1 inch thick cut
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon Garlic Powder with Parsley
1/2 teaspoon Season Salt
1 egg lightly beaten
1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 cup crushed Fine Doritos
Directions :
Here comes the fun part.
Take Pork Chops and place in a Ziploc baggie, single layer.
Make sure ALL the air is out, or your food will go flying.
Wrap in a bath towel, and take outside to your car or small trailer.
Place on the ground, run over bag in towel a few times (3-4)
In a pie plate back inside, place Garlic, Lemon Juice, Seasoned Salt, and egg. In another bowl put the Crushed Doritos, bread crumbs, and flour.
Dip pork chips in wet egg mixture, then coat with dry ingredients in other pan. In a large skillet, heat a little olive oil on medium high heat, and cook each side of porkchops for 4-5 minutes or until done.
Charlie
I used the car, being one trailer short.
I love your amazing step-by-step photos!
This one’s slightly out of my reach I’m sorry to say, living in the land-locked Midlands doesn’t help.
But one can dream….
Love crab and this soup looks divine but I’d have to pick out most of the crab meat and not let it get lost in the soup ,me being me.
In my twenties , I worked in a pharmacy , the head girl was a right B….. , to this day I have no idea what her problem was and why she chose to make my life hell, nasty specimen and very poor excuse for a human being! I was on the
verge of resigning but then she moved away, Yay .
Oh Lorraine, reading about your chain of horrible bosses felt just like watching a sitcom! That soup looks fantastic by the way, I love how the soup gets nicer the more violent you are
wow! what a meal!
This soup absolutely makes my mouth water. True, it seems like a bit of a production to make, but I guess if you’ve had a bad day at the office…I am pretty lucky when it comes to bosses, but I do have an annoying neighbor and I hate passive aggressive…wait, maybe I will make the soup after all.
Wow, this is fabulous! Seeing the process is much appreciated – I’m yet to make crab myself. I should though, as I adore it!
Heidi xo
p.s. I’ve never had a tough boss – I’m lucky! Bashing meat/seafood is a great idea though
I love anything with Harissa and this looks absolutely amazing!
Great cooking technique, and what a wonderful result.
Hi Blond Duck -oh no! Well this won’t do will it!
Hi Hanna -Thanks Hanna! Haha exactly, sanctioned, delicious violence
Hi Stefanie-thanks so much! I’d love to know what you think of it!
Hi JasmyneTea-Thank you! Haha sounds perfect plus the delicious smell with drive them crazy
Hi Johanna-Hehe you’re right there
Hi Charlie-Hehe that’s a safer way to do it!
Oh thank you so much for that recipe, it loks fantastic! I must make that one day! 
And crushed Doritos? How brilliant! 
Hi Anna-Thanks very much!
Oh well! Perhaps one day! 
Hi Matilda-OH yes it strains out very easily
Oh isn’t that awful how some people are just hideous? And there’s
no explanation for it! YAY for her moving away!
Hi Lucy-Believe me I often looked under the desk for the Candid Camera
I know, isn’t that the coolest bit? 
Hi Simply Life-Thank you!
Hi Nuts about food-Thanks so much! Yes it is a production but as you say after a bad day at the office…just what
the doctor ordered!
Haha! Brilliant! 
Hi Heidi-Yes I loved the whole process just as much as the soup! I hope you like it if you do make it
Lucky for you! xxx
Hi Victoria-Thanks! Yes it’s got a great harissa flavour to it
Hi Sara-Thank you Sara!
I will love smashing those crabs too! beautiful flavour and colours.
i’ve had two real jobs in my life, and my bosses have been night and day. one was wretched and evil and i left him in the dust. my current boss is kind and fair and needless to say, i’m much happier!
great soup, lorraine, even if fresh crabs give me the heebie-jeebies.
Those crab claw crackers (I have no idea what their proper name is) are so adorable, I especially like how they look like crab claws!
This would be a good soup to freeze because of the work involved, but I wonder if it’d taste as good after some time in the freezer? Any thoughts?
The worst boss? Where do I start. The butch chick who took credit for everything I did while pretending to like Tom Sellick (a dead give away back in the 80′s), an MBA who wanted to role play sales calls when I won best sales award two years in a row, or the man who had a hotel room waiting for me after he picked me up and talked with my mom when I was 19. Got fired for not cooperating. But, I did have a boss I loved who was 35 years older, a true mentor and I cried my eyes out when he retired. It’s a wonder, Lorriane, we didn’t turn to booze instead of food
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