“Honey I made some crack today” I announced to Mr NQN when he came home from work.
“I told you not to stay up all night watching Breaking Bad” he told me before adding that a control freak like myself would never try crack. Even I had to admit I wouldn’t ever want to see that.
Now I’m not advocating drug use under any circumstances. And I should state that I have never had an sort of drug addiction ever nor have I tried crack. Which leaves me somewhat under qualified to compare this to crack but as much as I love you Dear Readers, I think that’s a little extreme to try it in the spirit of anally retentiveness for the story 
.
I’ve only had one fleeting association with a crack addict and it was when he broke into my parent’s house. Wearing aviator sunglasses and a hoodie, with dyed blonde hair and sunken cheeks, he was so desperate to get back in there that he came back two days after robbing us to be greeted by me. He then came back a week later even having a conversation with my mother all the while twitching and acting “very peculiar” – her words. But I digress, the only thing that this slice has to do with crack is that it is addictive. Wholly so.
I dislike it when things expire as I consider it a waste of food so I make sure that I try and get through whatever is in the pantry as soon as possible. The problem was that I had bought an enormous canister of Horlicks and full cream milk powder for the cornflake milk ice cream that I made a few weeks ago. So I thought about what went well with Horlicks and that was more malt. And a Malteser slice was born. Most Malteser slices have digestive biscuits and golden syrup in them which would make them more like the chocolate crunch cake but I wanted to make something to use up these two items instead.
I whipped it up one afternoon not really expecting it to work. After all who knew what happened when you mixed Horlicks, chocolate and milk powder without any milk or water? Turns out something quite delicious happens and when you top it with halved Maltesers you have the very makings of an almost instantly gratifying addiction!
So tell me Dear Reader, have you ever been robbed or broken into (haha did you think I was going to ask if you’ve ever tried crack?)? And what are your current addictions?
10 Minute Malteser Slice O’ Crack
An Original Recipe by Not Quite Nigella
- 500g/1 pound milk chocolate (you can also use dark chocolate but for the true Malteser flavour, milk chocolate is best)
- 1 cup Horlicks
- 1 cup milk powder (skim or full cream will do)
- 2x 65g boxes of Maltesers
1. Line the baking tin with parchment on the base and the sides. In the interests of keeping this under 10 minutes, melt the chocolate in a microwave proof bowl in the microwave on 50% heat for 60 seconds at a time stirring between each time. In the meantime, in another bowl, stir the Horlicks and milk powder together. Also, open one of the packets of Maltesers and slice them in half, leave the Maltesers in the other box as whole.
2. Pour the chocolate into the dry Horlicks milk mixture (or vice versa) and stir with a silicon spatula-it will come together almost like a paste. Then add the whole Maltesers and stir well. Spoon into the prepared tin and smooth over with an angled spatula or the silicon spatula. Top the slice with the halved Maltesers, some cut side facing up some chocolate side facing up. Place in the fridge to set hard and slice into pieces. It sets hard and is a great slice for transporting, should you have any to in lieu of eating this all in front of the telly.
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100 Comments | Add your own
Is Horlicks just malted milk? Because my mom adores malted milk chocolates (in the states they’re called Whoppers)and would love this.
Hi Deanna-I believe it is although there is no chocolate in Horlicks so just plain malted milk powder
OMG OMG OMG i’m so excited about trying this recipe! It’s so easy and you don’t even need an oven
WOO HOO! And best part is hehe i was going to make your cornflake milk ice-cream ~ now i can make both! Thanks!
Our house has been broken into before, but fortunately, we weren’t home. You must’ve been so scared when that crack addict kept coming back!
Hmmm I think i’m addicted to blog reading and eating
I can’t seem to stop these two things 
How clever! This would be so yummy:) I even have some Horlicks…though I am trying not to have sugar at the moment. Yes, I am going to fail:)
How is Horlicks supposed to assist in sending one to sleep? I was quite interested when I read the ingredient panel to find out it contains sugar.
How great do these look!
Terrific! Those must be quite addictive.
Cheers,
Rosa
This type of slice closely matches my addiction, only to be followed by potato chips. Great quick slice!
Absolutely divine!!!
I thought the title was because the maltesers were cracked
Looks yummy – I have a big bag of maltesers in the cupboard right now but as tempting as your slice is I am hoarding them for something else.
Yes, we were robbed several years ago. Came home to find I had lost every piece of jewelry I had ever been given. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I still feel sick to this day when I think about the precious memories of mine that are now gone forever.
The slice looks divine. I am imagining how good it tastes, as I won’t be trying it for a while (dreaded diet!)
where do i find horlicks?
Hi Amanda-I’m not sure which country you are in but you can find Horlicks at the supermarket in Australia. I believe it is also sold as Horlicks in the US and Asia too
Oh man, that looks AMAZING. Maltesers are, hands down, my favourite chocolate.
What a fun story and an equally fun recipe! I do love your stories, Lorraine.
Yes, I’ve been broken into and had wallet lifted as well. Never fun. But this dessert is, so I’ll stick to that!
first of all, HOW GOOD IS BREAKING BAD! We got robbed three times in a month once, by the same guy. One of those times, we had just received all our goods back from insurance, still in boxes and he wiped us out. Anything with maltesers in it is amazing…
This sure looks appealing with the two styles of maltesers on top!I’m way to much of a control freak to ever mess with drugs either, another reason I don’t drink much.
Our car has been broken into, but never the house- the fact that we have a huge German Shepherd may put potential perpetrators off perhaps?
I would dearly love to know why your crack-head burglar kept comback. your family own so much loot thatcouldn’t carry it all in one trip?
Oh my, I can see why it would be addictive! Chocolate and malt – genius, and looks pretty too!
Malteasers are my favourite! 10 minutes you say? Well, you can bet I will be making this tonight.
Yummmmm, that looks delicious and very easy peasy
My brother was a huge fan of malteasers, but not I! My current addiction is wine! Our house was broken into about 12 years ago; we were away for the weekend and a guy noticed I had left a tiny window in our dining room open. He cut the screen and lifted his daughter into our house! Fortunately, as soon as she opened the back door for him, our alarm system started screaming and the cops were called! They ran away without touching a thing, thank goodness.
These look amazing and may just be my new addiction!! I have all the items in my cupboard so good excuse as I hate waste. I did have quite a traumatic break in last year.Definitely not something I want to repeat or wish on anyone
Will definitely make this! I love Breaking Bad too, can’t wait for later this year when another season comes out. Do you like Dexter ? I can recommend one of the best mini series I have ever seen, The Killing – it’s Danish and really fantastic (not the American version)
Hi Sally-Yes I’ve been recommended the Killing and I LOVE Dexter! Thanks for the rec!
As I eat a banana that looks soooooo good!
Mmm, what a happy end for your left-over Horlicks. I adore anything malt flavoured and this looks very tempting – I’m just not sure my arteries can stand any more addictions.
Wow, this recipe does look delicious. The Hubby is obsessed with Maltesers so I may have to try this one out as a real treat.
The closest thing I have had to an addiction in my life is with chocolate. So you can understand why posting this recipe on a Monday morning may lead to a day filled with cravings!
So good!! Is Horlicks another version of Choc Malt (like Nesquik ?) I’ve got some Maltesers lying around for the little guy for school lunch box but a slice of this is far more gratifying.My addiction at the moment is Banana/Avocado & honey sandwiches & they have to be eaten at 11pm or I can’t sleep! Weird I know, but yum!Thanks again, lovely Lorraine!
Hi Lina-I’m not really familiar with choc malt Nesquick but there isn’t any chocolate in Horlicks. I think it is sold in the US as Horlicks and it is definitely sold in Asia and here as Horlicks
Wow – looks great! Is it a hard, chocolatey kind of slice?
Hi Tina-yes it sets hard and is perfect for transporting
My continuous addiction is always chocolate with nuts. Right now I can’t stop eating laceys… chocolate and almonds and they are so good. I am afraid I’m already gaining weight from this. I didn’t bake this but I shouldn’t be baking any sweets at all. I know they will all end up in my tummy. Lorraine, this chocolate treat sounds heavenly…. how do you stop when you make such a delicious treat? Do you give them away? I’m so greedy – if I like it, it’s hard to stop eating and give away…
I have had an addiction to horlicks in the past and maltesers are my munchie-of- choice when going to the movies, so it would seem I should give this creation a go. It looks delicious!
Unfortunately I have experienced
a break-in. Many years ago before my ex-husband and I had our family, I indulged in setting up a wine cellar under our house adjoining the open garage. We arrived home to find it raided – worse still,my ex could not see the merit in restocking even though we moved several times in the next 25 years.
This looks and sounds delicious! And yes, I have been broken into, several times – the sneaky soandsos had worked out that if they came back about 4 months later there’d be a brand new stereo, video player(it was a while ago), tv etc for them to grab …
What a delicious idea. I’m assuming Maltesers are the same thing we call Malted Milk Balls or Whoppers? At Easter they’re called Robin’s Eggs and covered in speckled pastel colors. A white chocolate version with the Robin’s Eggs would be a fun Easter treat. xoxo Mum
Hi mum-Yep I think they are the same. Isn’t that funny? I thought you guys would have Maltesers in the US!
Mmm yes they’d be great for Easter! xxx
Is the Horlicks like our
sweetened condensed milk? The Maltesers are what we call Whoppers, a candy of malted milk power covered in milk chocolate. That is a heart attack dessert.
We’ve been burgled once – when I was 8 months pregnant. Our house alarm frightened them off, but after they’d searched the nursery and our spare bedroom as they didn’t have sensors. It was awful walking in when so huge to see something was wrong. Now all our rooms have alarm sensors. The police were lovely. The only upside was that a ring I hated was stolen so I replaced it with a lovely pearl necklace.
As to addictions du jour – going to the gym. Very surprising – but a balance so I can regularly indulge.
This looks absolutely amazing. Horlicks and maltesers may be difficult to get hold of here. What a pity, because I really want to try. I wonder if the other substance you mention is an alternative and whether its easily available?
DH LOVED Maltesers, TRUE!
Might even have to make this recipe to surprize him too!
I am naturally HIGH, addicted (not in this order lol) to life and food!
As BOTH entertain my colourfully E-X-C-I-T-I-N-G personality and my U-N-I-Q-U-E “view of the world” mood! WHOO HOO!
Yum! This looks very good indeed. I have been broken into, but nothing was taken, thankfully.
I love Maltesers!
Lorraine you have whipped another easy and delicious treat for us. This one is addictive!
this looks so addictive i love maltesers and had to read twice over the ingredients i was expecting milk or egg and thinking it was a baked slice (i think my eyes are still half oepn from not waking up properly yet)
Incredible that the poor desperate chap kept coming back over and over again. Perhaps in a brief moment of clarity he remembered items you have that could easily be pawned? He hasn’t come around here but I recently blogged about my bin being stolen. Perhaps he took it so he could use it to store all the items he took from your parents house.
Since I have the day off – I feel that I must make this slice!! My house was broken into several years ago when I was at uni. It was very surreal – especially as the thieves were still there when we arrived home…and still there when the police arrived. In their drug-addled brains, they figured it was fair to rob us because the guy that was painting the house (it was a rental – we hadn’t even hired him!) owed them money. They actually tried using this as an excuse to the police. We got everything back.
When my son was a teenager all his friends practically lived at our house. The American equivalent of Maltesers are Whoppers. We lived in the South at the time and I made a chocolate cake with Whoppers on top. The boys (all football players) always asked for my “Whupper Cake” – it’s the accent. I never thought of making slices!
I love how you’ve cut some in half. They look delicious.
Definitely crack.
This looks delish! We have been broken into by our next door neighbors – they were on crack!
I don’t think I’ve had Horlicks since I was a child. It was always something we had when we slept over at my Grandparents. Ahh the memories..Anyway, your slice o’crack (by the way I had to laugh at the name) looks amazing. I love maltesers, so this really does look addictive.
In answer to your question, when I was a newborn apparently a drug addict broke into my room while I was sleeping and stole a few things. My Dad chased him away but apparently after that it was months before they felt safe letting my sleep in my own room again. As for my current addicitions, it’s Lindt Caramel Crunch chocolate and tea. I can’t seem to get enough of either.
most definitely on my list to make this coming weekend!
yes, we have been burgled but we weren’t at home. A few months later, i was still feeling awkward leaving the house unattented
Thank heavens he didn’t hurt any of you. How awful that he kept coming back, that would scare the maltesers out of me! I really like the photo at the top, it’s got a gorgeous sort of grunge feel to it, befitting a story involving crack!
HI Deana-How startling and that’s terribly disturbing indeed!
And yes enough to put you off for life (I think the film Requiem for a Dream did that for me). When I saw my intruder I was very startled (I didn’t expect him to come back) and hit the panic button and he ran away!
The slices look really cute, the story about the addict entering your house quite scary really, difficult to deal with addicts really! Did he actually manage to steal something?
Oh no this looks dangerous. Good thing I don’t have Horlick’s lying around in my house.
We got robbed once when we were all at home. The guy walked in and took mum and my handbags from the kitchen bench.
I had an incident with crack just this morning actually. There is a lady that I sometimes see at the bus stop outside our house who is always seriously high. Last time I saw her she was hurling abuse at an imaginary person. This morning the imaginary person was telling jokes and she was laughing hysterically.
My addiction is facebook and almond Magnums.
In my first share house we were broken into – they stole my flatmates video player. We saw it in a pawn shop later but were unable to prove it was hers. Oh well.
My partner and I have been pretty lucky, though we did once come home to find “jimmy” marks on our door.I guess someone came along to the apartment common area and scared them off. Nevertheless we reviewed our security after that!
Okay, I have a stupid question: what is milk powder? And what would happen if I don’t put it in? (I did try Googling milk powder, but that still doesn’t really answer where in Woolies I’d find it. I keep thinking of baby formula. I’m assuming it’s not that, because that stuff smells vile.)
Hi Jen-it’s not baby formula but milk powder-you mix it up with some water and then you have milk. It comes in skim and full cream milk versions
I totally just bought Horlicks for the first time in YEARS yesterday. Delicious delicious malty goodness… maltesers beat jaffas ANY DAY.
P.S. My control freak nature is largely why I don’t do drugs or drink too
Remember my late father-in-law meeting us at the airport after an o’seas trip with the words: ‘It’s OK, it truly is!’ ‘What?’ ‘They did not get anything!’ ‘Who?’ ‘The burglars!’ ‘What!!!!’ Seems my then housekeeper’s husband and friends had got a bit greedy: she had the key! So! Believe a pile of ‘goodies’ was at the front door, but they just had to try and blast the small safe in my downstairs office! Stupido – used too much of whatever and the bang could be heard across the neighbourhood. Left everything, didn’t they? The neighbours called the police and they called Dad and the housekeeper was in just a tad of trouble!!! Oh, my opal ring in the safe had cracked being a soft stone but the insurance company managed to find one ever so much nicer! Maltesers and Horlicks: well, if I am honest . . . have never used either
!
This is a dangerous dangerous recipe!! My fav malty things all in one slice! What’s the texture like? xox
Malted milk powder.. didn’t know it even existed! Sounds so good. Wonder what else you can do with it. Maltesers are one of my fav chocolates. I really must try this.
How awesome are Maltesers?! And this slice looks mighty awesome too – *bookmarked*
One late night one of our cats was acting very odd and panicky at our front door. Eventually we looked through the blinds and saw that a group of guys were trying to steal our car. Luckily they didn’t get very far pushing it down the driveway before the police arrived.
Moral of the story… trust an animal’s instincts! If they’re relaxed, I relax. If they’re freaked out, be alarmed
—Now, that’s my kind of crack, baby!
)
Yummmmmers. I like double chocolate Malted Milk Balls!
btw, I’ve watched every single episode of Breaking Bad. I’m waiting impatientely for the next season. WOW. Sooo Good.
Xx Kiss, Lorraine xx
mmmm malt and chocolate – I wouldn’t be saying no to this slice – in fact I would be breaking into people’s crack dens – oops I mean houses – for it! Well not really – that is just metaphorical just like your making crack
Sounds fantastic!!! Love it.
Yum!
I remember when I was a kid we got broken into and they stole our washing machine & dryer.
This looks delicious Lorraine! As usual your treats are a welcome surprise to my inbox each morning x
Wah that looks so yummy! any left that I could eat
?
Amazing. I want it now. I am always addicted to chocolate, ESP dark….
OMG this is wayyyy too sinful!
I so need to make this. It looks so simple and wonderful. My dilemma is that I’m trying to cut back on sugar. But it’s so hard!
Our place was broken into when I was young. They climbed through the garage window and went into the roof, then crawled through to the granny flat and stole my Playstation
Oh that looks good! And ten minutes? Brilliant!
Someone tried to break into our house while we were away once but luckily my sister came to check our house at the exact moment he smashed a window. I don’t think she thought it was that lucky
Far out!!! This looks seriously good!!! Trouble is.., of I make it I will eat it all! Very bad!
I might have to make it anyway!
Yes, they broke into our apartment a few summers ago on my husband’s birthday. We were abroad and got the call during his birthday party. Poor guy!
Yay another Breaking Bad fan! *hi5*
Wonder if it’ll work the same with Milo..
Well, probably one of the most startling events in my young life happened at my place in the West Village.
For a while, some cretin had the brilliant idea to put half-way houses in good neighborhoods. This was nuts. Odd sorts hanging around at all hours didn’t make the neighbors happy.
One day as I was doing dishes, I saw a large object drop from above out of the corner of my eye. I was on the 7th floor.
It was a man, high on heroine, who had climbed over roofs to break in. He was high so he fell. It was deeply disturbing. Definitely put me off the idea of having drugs in my life!
What did you do when you saw your intruder??? People on crack are scary.
Dear Lorraine,
I used to be addicted to Horlicks as a kid, eating spoonfuls of it off the tin
Okay, saying it now, genius! Very clever way to use up a couple of items that are pretty hard to bulk use, creating something pretty awesome. Hmm my addiction is not food related, it is travel related, travel anywhere!
Legal crack. Love it.
I’m addicted to far too many chocolaty things and think I may have just found a new one…these! They look so good – you can’t beat malted chocolate and maltesers for the ultimate satisfying sugar hit
nobody would dare to break in our house (6 dogs, a taser, a air gun and a wall with sharp broken glass).
yay no baking cookies! they look like a art piece with the halfed maltesers. thums up!
What is Horlicks? We don’t have that is the USA….
Hi Justine-I’m not sure but from googling I think you might be able to find it in the U.S. but perhaps it’s not very widely distributed. Do you have malted milk powder? That would be the same thing
as making crack goes, i’d much rather deal with chocolate and ovens than chemicals and burners.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! : 9
This sounds so incredibly easy & G-O-O-D!
I’ve seen Horlick’s powder in groceries here in the US and the Whoppers/Malteasers are everywhere.
This may be my new addiction, replacing the 3-minute microwave chocolate cake.
My sister asked me to make a dessert using Maltesers and this sounds like the perfect one! Thanks for the recipe
I just had a hot cup of Horlicks in the morning, and later in the afternoon, it’ll be Milo. This Malteser slice is definitely my version of crack!
Delicious!! Stud’s a massive Horlicks fan and I adore Malteres. This baby beats a Mars Bar slice hands down
Finding this was perfect timing. Some friends and I are having a variation of a high tea next week and I have been wondering what to bake. This will be perfect. Yum!
Mmm … this looks like good crack!
I believe Horlick’s is similar to our malt drink Ovaltine. Ovaltine is available in the malt flavor and chocolate malt flavor. It’s featured in A Christmas Story when Ralphy listens to Little Orphan Annie. “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.”
Your Malteser slice looks yummy can’t wait to try it.
Hi KK-I think Ovaltine has chocolate added it it whereas Horlicks doesn’t. But I don’t see why Ovaltine wouldn’t work too, I mean nothing wrong with more chocolate right?
Waw! These home-made Malteser crunch bars look amazing & truly appetizing too!:)
Made this tonight- aaaaaace!
Hi Asdz-I’m so glad that you liked it!
Oh dear. I can definitely see myself becoming a huge junkie for these little beauties! We don’t have the Malteser brand here, but I can give them a go with Whoppers! And I have to say, thank you so much for the lovely chocolate you sent me…the dark chocolate disks with gold, frankincense, & myrrh were a favorite treat! XO
I’m not sure if I did something wrong..I made these yesterday and sad to say they were not quite what I expected… It just tastes like a very hard dense bar-chocolate of malteaser, which don’t get me wrong, is fine in it self, but you certainly get through a ‘slice’ of it, so I’m worried that it will take too long to finish!
Hi Tina-It is like a chocolate bar but with a malt flavour through it and chunks of Malteser
YUMMO…where have I been lately to miss this one??
Oh boy, this looks soooo GOOD! A “must try”:)
I have never been robbed, or had my house broken into, thankfully! That must have been so scary for you, especially since he came back!?! Yikes!
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