"Honey I made some crack today" I announced to Mr NQN when he came home from work.
"I told you not to stay up all night watching Breaking Bad" he told me before adding that a control freak like myself would never try crack. Even I had to admit I wouldn't ever want to see that.
Now I'm not advocating drug use under any circumstances. And I should state that I have never had an sort of drug addiction ever nor have I tried crack. Which leaves me somewhat under qualified to compare this to crack but as much as I love you Dear Readers, I think that's a little extreme to try it in the spirit of anally retentiveness for the story ;) .
I've only had one fleeting association with a crack addict and it was when he broke into my parent's house. Wearing aviator sunglasses and a hoodie, with dyed blonde hair and sunken cheeks, he was so desperate to get back in there that he came back two days after robbing us to be greeted by me. He then came back a week later even having a conversation with my mother all the while twitching and acting "very peculiar" - her words. But I digress, the only thing that this slice has to do with crack is that it is addictive. Wholly so.
I dislike it when things expire as I consider it a waste of food so I make sure that I try and get through whatever is in the pantry as soon as possible. The problem was that I had bought an enormous canister of Horlicks and full cream milk powder for the cornflake milk ice cream that I made a few weeks ago. So I thought about what went well with Horlicks and that was more malt. And a Malteser slice was born. Most Malteser slices have digestive biscuits and golden syrup in them which would make them more like the chocolate crunch cake but I wanted to make something to use up these two items instead.
I whipped it up one afternoon not really expecting it to work. After all who knew what happened when you mixed Horlicks, chocolate and milk powder without any milk or water? Turns out something quite delicious happens and when you top it with halved Maltesers you have the very makings of an almost instantly gratifying addiction!
So tell me Dear Reader, have you ever been robbed or broken into (haha did you think I was going to ask if you've ever tried crack?)? And what are your current addictions?
10 Minute Malteser Slice O' Crack
An Original Recipe by Not Quite Nigella
500g/1 pound milk chocolate (you can also use dark chocolate but for the true Malteser flavour, milk chocolate is best)
1 cup Horlicks
1 cup milk powder (skim or full cream will do)
2x 65g boxes of Maltesers
You will also need a 21x21cm square tin
Step 1 - Line the baking tin with parchment on the base and the sides. In the interests of keeping this under 10 minutes, melt the chocolate in a microwave proof bowl in the microwave on 50% heat for 60 seconds at a time stirring between each time. In the meantime, in another bowl, stir the Horlicks and milk powder together. Also, open one of the packets of Maltesers and slice them in half, leave the Maltesers in the other box as whole.
Step 2 - Pour the chocolate into the dry Horlicks milk mixture (or vice versa) and stir with a silicon spatula-it will come together almost like a paste. Then add the whole Maltesers and stir well. Spoon into the prepared tin and smooth over with an angled spatula or the silicon spatula. Top the slice with the halved Maltesers, some cut side facing up some chocolate side facing up. Place in the fridge to set hard and slice into pieces. It sets hard and is a great slice for transporting, should you have any to in lieu of eating this all in front of the telly.